sinking into self-care

In the beginning of June I dedicated the entire month to self-care.  To sinking in deep.  Getting back to me.  Slowing down and appreciating the moments.  Unearthing what I love, need, and desire.  I made a promise to be present.  

I am seven days into this journey and so far it has been fabulous. 

They say you teach what you most need to learn and that couldn't be more true for me.  I decided to dedicate June to self-care because it is a hard month for me.  It is the month I lost my mom and also the same month that we would have been celebrating her anniversary of being married to my father and her birthday.  I knew it was time for me to be tender with myself. 

As I began to cultivate what I wanted to do for June my 'Mindful Moments' online class began to take shape.  The class started the first day of June and runs until the 30th.  It has been wonderful to share this content with the individuals who have gathered. 

What I am learning from this experience is that we all need a little personal TLC.  We all need permission to slow down.  We all need to take care of ourselves a little bit better.  We are always taking care of others and putting ourselves on the back burner, but we need a bit time just for ourselves.

We need to be able to look in the mirror and love the person looking back.  We need to speak kind words to her and hear them, really truly hear them.  We need to shift our inner dialogue and speak to ourselves the way we would our best friend.  We need to believe in ourselves. 

One of the daily assignments I give in class is one move.  This is where I invite individuals to try out one thing that day to see how it feels.  One simple self-care move.  Each day as you get ready you look at yourself in the mirror.  How often do you speak kindly to yourself when you look deep into your eyes?  How often do you say 'hey there, I love you'? 

Pulling from the one move assignment in class I encourage you to look in the mirror and really see yourself.  See how brave and beautiful you are.  Appreciate the wrinkles around your lips because it means you are smiling often.  Look in deep and give thanks for your courage.  Give thanks for your patience.  Appreciate your ability to adapt.  Be fully present and crush on yourself.  

You deserve to give yourself a little love.  You deserve to speak kindly to your heart.  You deserve to be compassionate.  Go ahead and give it a try.  Feel the love you have for yourself.  

{If you want to join Mindful Moments there is still time to jump in.  You will receive one self-care lesson a day for thirty days delivered directly to your email box.  You will be able to hold onto these lessons and go back to them time and time again.  Go ahead, give yourself permission to do something just for you.  Click HERE to join in.}

motherless

It was three years ago that my world changed forever.  Changed in a way I never thought would happen at that stage in my life.  Yes, I knew one day I would be motherless but I never knew that day would arrive before I turned 35.  Before I ever got married. Before I had any children.  Before we ever had to have the conversation about "going into a home" which she always joked about. 

I thought there was time.  

I thought there was so much time.  But time is a funny thing.  We feel like we have endless amounts of it and then it is taken away from us and we cannot comprehend what just happened.  

And now here I stand; a daughter without a mother.  There is a huge piece of my heart missing and I know that no matter what I do it will never be filled.  Only my mom could heal that space and she will never get the chance to.  

It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies.  

My mom and I had our fair share of differences.  But as I grew older, we grew closer.  She became more than my mom but my friend.  She arrived at my doorstep with chicken soup when I wasn't feeling well.  She always checked in to see how I was doing.  Made my my favorite meal on my birthday.  And there were many nights spent crafting or roaming the aisles of TJ Maxx trying on the most ridiculous hats.  

There was laughter and inside jokes.  Family dinners and trips down the shore.  There was love, lots and lots of love and so many memories made.  

As I come upon this three year anniversary, motherless I will continue to share the stories.  I will share the laughter and even the moments when she would drive me crazy.  It is in this sharing that I feel closest her.  I appreciate it when people ask me about my mom, when I am reminiscing about her, and when individuals do not shy away from these types of conversations. 

I may be motherless but my mom lives on forever inside me.  

fill your cup

Because the time has come to make yourself a priority.  Yes, the time has come to take some time for you.  It is not selfish to do so, in fact it is needed.  

For me this looks like a few minutes on my porch, riding my bicycle, fueling my body with healthy options.  All of these and many more are a part of my self-care arsenal.  I turn to them to fuel my mind, body, and heart.  I turn to them to fill me up.  I turn to them and they bring me joy.  

Somedays I can spend hours emerged in one of these practices.  Other days it may just be a few minutes.  And then there are the days when I miss it completely.  But one thing is for certain, I am tuned in to knowing that I need to dedicate some time for me.  If I do not I become irritable and cranky.  My temper becomes short and I feel like I am living in a fog.  

To avoid going down that rabbit hole I pause.  Take a deep breathe.  Notice the way the blue sky and green trees make me smile.  I say hello to strangers.  I choose to be present.  

Taking care of me is important.  I know that I do not show up as my best self when I have slacked in the care department.  But when I do I am a better partner, friend, aunt, daughter, co-worker.  I choose to notice and be aware.  When I slack, I feel it.   

I am looking forward to diving in to 30 days of dedicated self-care as I host the Mindful Moments e-course.  I will be sharing the lessons I learned on my ten year journey to finding myself and unearthing what self-care practices work for me.  We begin tomorrow {June 1st} and I hope that you will join me.  

Now more than ever we need to show up for ourselves so that we can show up better for the world.  Make yourself a priority today and join me in Mindful Moments.

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fuel your body

When I am hungry you do not want to be around me.  I am the type of person who gets 'hangry' pretty quickly.  Dustin can vouch for my irritability and inability to make a decision in that moment. 

As soon as I get a little bit of food in my tummy, my mood changes and I am back to my old self.  I have learned that what works for me is smaller meals and snacks throughout the day.  It helps to keep my energy level high and irritability at bay.  

Nourishing our bodies is a form of self-care.  What we choose to put in has a direct effect on how we feel.  I know that when I do not feed myself well and am only surviving on sugar my body revolts and I feel awful.

I never thought I would be the person bringing quinoa and broccoli to work for lunch but have learned over the years when I eat the pizza instead I want to fall asleep at my desk by 2 o'clock.  It is at that time I will reach for caffeine and then ultimately crash, again.  

Nourishing my body does not take a lot of work, but it does take a bit of planning.  I never thought I would be one to do weekly meal prep but it has become a lifeline for me.  Having something that I can just grab takes out the thinking and makes it quick and easy in the moment.  

I have become the girl who leaves the house with her lunch box and has healthy snacks in her purse.  Because like I said, you don't want to see me hangry.  And having something that fuels me makes it that much easier for me to say no to the vending machine.  

Nourishing my body has not been a skill that was developed over night.  In fact it is something that I work on daily and consider a practice.  I still struggle with dinner but find eating the same breakfast for a week works for me.  

There are tons of food and fitness bloggers that make it seem pretty and fancy.  For me it never looks that way.  After meal prep on Sunday it looks like a hurricane went through my kitchen. But that's nothing a little soap can't help scrub away.  

What I have learned on this journey is to not get caught up in the comparison game. When we do that we throw self-care onto the floor and stomp on it for some extra pain.  You need to do what works right for you.  Only you know the type of schedule and time you have.  Only you know what your taste buds truly desire.  Only you know what food really fuels you.  You can be inspired by others, but don't let them bring you down.  

I invite you to simply notice this week what you put into your body and how it makes you feel.  Is your food fueling you or slowing you down.  Does what you eat give you energy or make you feel like it's time to nap.  Keep a list of everything your consuming and how it makes you feel.  Doing this will help you be more conscious of what you are putting in.  

Fueling your body doesn't have to be a scary and overhwelming feeling.  In fact it is pretty simple, but it all starts with you.  

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Join me on a 30 day exploration into self-care where together we will committed to practicing self-care for the entire month of June. Because when you take care of yourself you are better equipped to show up in this world and have something to give to others.  

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self-care brings forth self-love

Being sure I showered and brushed my teeth before I headed out the door was my go to college self-care routine.  At the time I had no idea what self-care truly meant and how important it was to my overall well being.  I knew then that I had to eat more veggies and get protein in my body {although I never really did that}but what I didn't know was that self-care extended far beyond the food I ate.  In fact what was truly important was my mental and spiritual self.  This side of myself I had no idea how to tend to as I was still unearthing who I was.  

Today if I do not take care of myself I become irritable, cranky, and want to spend time on my own.  It is in these moments that I will turn to netflix and veg out on the coach.  But even non-stop episodes of Brothers & Sisters does not help fill my well and bring me back to me.  

Writing is one of my self-care practices.  When I feel this lost distant version of myself it is usually because I have not sat with my journal in a really long time. The blank page provides me a space to let go of all my worries, expectations, fears, and dreams.  It is my opportunity to say exactly how I feel and work through how to get to how I want to feel.  

Meditation is another one of my go to's.  Sitting, even if just for a few moments helps me clear my head and just be.  Even just five minutes of uninterrupted silence in my car can do wonders for my mood.  

But here's the thing.  We do not have to wait until we are irritated and fighting with everyone we know to give ourselves permission to take some time for self-care.  We can carve out a few moments each day to fill our well and ignite our inner light.  

Self-care takes practice.  It is like a muscle you have to condition over time.  If you let it go it will become flabby and leave you feeling heavy.  But if you work on it, even if just for a little bit each day it will become stronger and more resilient.  

You cannot pour from your cup to give to others if you have let your own cup run dry.  You need to tend to you mind, body, and heart.  You deserve a moment just for you.  You deserve to feel yourself lit up from the inside out.  You deserve to do whatever it is that makes you happy. 

I invite you to take some time for you.  To start a practice of self-love, compassion, and kindness.  I invite you to make yourself a priority and fill your own well.  Do not wait for someone else to do it for you.  You are the one in charge of your own happiness.  You are the one who decides what you are going to do and where you are going to go.  You are the one who makes the rules for you.  How is it that you want to feel?  

Now more than ever you need to shower yourself with kindness so that you can show up in this world as the best version of yourself.  When you are kind to you, you set an example and inspire others to do the same for themselves.  

Everyone's version of self-care looks a little bit different, but one thing is for certain.  We all want to be happy.  We all want to feel love.  We all want to smile with our entire being.  

So join me for 30 days of self-love prompts, inspiring stories, adventures, and inspiration that will guide you in starting your own attainable self-care practice.  Through audio, video, and written prompts you will be unable to unearth what your heart needs.  This doesn't require any fancy tools or makeup.  The most beautiful part about self-care is that you show up exactly as you are and nourish your mind, body, and spirit.  

We begin on June 1st and all lessons will be delivered to your inbox so that you can revisit them time & time again. 

Or click HERE to learn more.  Together we will walk this journey and dive deep into self-kindness.  Will you join me?

stronger together

When the universe wants to teach you a lesson it doesn't give up until you learn it.  

I am an introvert.  I tend to observe rather than engage.  I take in all that is happening around me.  But when you only observe you stand on the outside and no one knows what is going on with you inside.  There are times I feel isolated and lonely.  There are times when I feel defeated and unsure.  

One of the ways that I connect is by showing up to this space and spilling open the contents of my heart.  It allows me the opportunity to share my story.  In sharing my story I hear from others who are going through something similar and it makes me feel less alone. 

All to often I feel like I need to do it on my own.  I do not like to ask for help and when others try to help I push them away.  I am a pleaser and want to do anything to make someone else comfortable.  I think of others needs before my own even when they are willing to help me.  When it comes to my work I feel like it all has to be done by me.  I bog myself down with trying to do it all.  But no one person can do everything.  

We are stronger when we come together.

This is the lesson the universe has been trying to teach me.  The lesson I have been pushing away time and time again.  But within these last few weeks I am learning that I can't do it all alone.  I need to reach out.  I need to invite others in.  

My sister in law showed me this by sharing a very personal story publicly.  In doing so she connected with other tender hearts who have gone through or is going through what she had.  In sharing her story she helped others to know that they are not alone and in turn she learned that when she felt isolated that there were others out there going through what she had.  

It is important to share our stories.  

It is our stories that invite others in.
It is our stories that connect us. 
It is our stories that bring us closer to one another.  
It is in telling our stories that we help our hearts heal. 

For the past couple of years I have been on a journey to eat more mindfully and move my body daily.  Karen and Katrina from Tone It Up have been my inspiration.  I want to have more energy, a clear mind, and feel strong. 

I have lingered on the outskirts of the Tone It Up Community.  I longed to find a couple of other girls from NJ who followed the plan but never took the effort to really seek them out, until now.  They just kicked off their next challenge and I actively pursed finding others from my area.  It has been such a blessing to know they are out there.  I never would have found them had I not sought them out.  Together we are going to go through this.  We will be there to support one another to hold each other accountable and let each other know it is ok when we slip up.  

We are stronger together.

The theme for this challenge is actually titled 'Stronger Together'.  That could not have been more appropriately titled.  The universe showing up again to try to teach me this lesson.  

When I was younger I was terrible at math.  I remember sitting for hours at the dining room table with my dad as he tried to explain it all to me.  It took a while but once I got it, I had it.  My mom always said she could see the moment the light bulb went off in my head and I understood what he was explaining. 

If my mom was here today I think this would be one of those moments she would see the light bulb going off.   I am FINALLY learning to invite others in.  To share my heart not only in the written word but through stories and conversations.  I crave and desire that face to face connection.  Being an introvert it can be hard to show up into that. 

Writing has given me the opportunity to pour my heart out and learn that when I did so I would not be rejected.  It is ok to share.  It is necessary to share. 

I have grown steady on these writing legs but it is time to spread my wings and dive in deeper.  Knowing that we are stronger together I feel deep courage and confidence inside my heart to keep stepping forward on this journey.  It is time to open up and let others see me in ways that I have not done so before.  

I invite you to join me on this journey.  To take these steps together.  To encourage one another.  To let each other know that they are not alone.  Will you join me?