stronger together

When the universe wants to teach you a lesson it doesn't give up until you learn it.  

I am an introvert.  I tend to observe rather than engage.  I take in all that is happening around me.  But when you only observe you stand on the outside and no one knows what is going on with you inside.  There are times I feel isolated and lonely.  There are times when I feel defeated and unsure.  

One of the ways that I connect is by showing up to this space and spilling open the contents of my heart.  It allows me the opportunity to share my story.  In sharing my story I hear from others who are going through something similar and it makes me feel less alone. 

All to often I feel like I need to do it on my own.  I do not like to ask for help and when others try to help I push them away.  I am a pleaser and want to do anything to make someone else comfortable.  I think of others needs before my own even when they are willing to help me.  When it comes to my work I feel like it all has to be done by me.  I bog myself down with trying to do it all.  But no one person can do everything.  

We are stronger when we come together.

This is the lesson the universe has been trying to teach me.  The lesson I have been pushing away time and time again.  But within these last few weeks I am learning that I can't do it all alone.  I need to reach out.  I need to invite others in.  

My sister in law showed me this by sharing a very personal story publicly.  In doing so she connected with other tender hearts who have gone through or is going through what she had.  In sharing her story she helped others to know that they are not alone and in turn she learned that when she felt isolated that there were others out there going through what she had.  

It is important to share our stories.  

It is our stories that invite others in.
It is our stories that connect us. 
It is our stories that bring us closer to one another.  
It is in telling our stories that we help our hearts heal. 

For the past couple of years I have been on a journey to eat more mindfully and move my body daily.  Karen and Katrina from Tone It Up have been my inspiration.  I want to have more energy, a clear mind, and feel strong. 

I have lingered on the outskirts of the Tone It Up Community.  I longed to find a couple of other girls from NJ who followed the plan but never took the effort to really seek them out, until now.  They just kicked off their next challenge and I actively pursed finding others from my area.  It has been such a blessing to know they are out there.  I never would have found them had I not sought them out.  Together we are going to go through this.  We will be there to support one another to hold each other accountable and let each other know it is ok when we slip up.  

We are stronger together.

The theme for this challenge is actually titled 'Stronger Together'.  That could not have been more appropriately titled.  The universe showing up again to try to teach me this lesson.  

When I was younger I was terrible at math.  I remember sitting for hours at the dining room table with my dad as he tried to explain it all to me.  It took a while but once I got it, I had it.  My mom always said she could see the moment the light bulb went off in my head and I understood what he was explaining. 

If my mom was here today I think this would be one of those moments she would see the light bulb going off.   I am FINALLY learning to invite others in.  To share my heart not only in the written word but through stories and conversations.  I crave and desire that face to face connection.  Being an introvert it can be hard to show up into that. 

Writing has given me the opportunity to pour my heart out and learn that when I did so I would not be rejected.  It is ok to share.  It is necessary to share. 

I have grown steady on these writing legs but it is time to spread my wings and dive in deeper.  Knowing that we are stronger together I feel deep courage and confidence inside my heart to keep stepping forward on this journey.  It is time to open up and let others see me in ways that I have not done so before.  

I invite you to join me on this journey.  To take these steps together.  To encourage one another.  To let each other know that they are not alone.  Will you join me?

beginning anew in march

I could make the drive to and from work with my eyes closed.  I have been going the same way for ten years.  These roads which were once unfamiliar and unknown have now become a part of my DNA.  I remember when I arrived that first day.  Unsure of where to park, feeling deeply the jitters of the unknown as I stepped into a world I was completely unfamiliar with. Never did I imagine what I would learn within these four walls or the way I would grow and expand.  I didn't expect to unearth friendships, take an unexpected trip, get my heart broken, laugh deeply, strengthen my voice, fill my heart with memories.  

What was began as a temporary job evolved into finding my way to marketing.  I never thought I would end up here, but then again I never really knew where I was going.  I tend to follow my heart and take a chance.  I am grateful for the way these walls have held me gently, encouraged me to step forward, and given me financial security to enjoy the the moments of my days.  

Yet, there has been a constant tug inside my heart nudging me to step into my light and do the work I am meant to do in this world.  The biggest challenge has been that I am unsure what exactly that looks like.  What I know for certain is:

• I am called to being in service to others
• I have a strong desire to guide individuals in opening up to their heart to the page and experiencing the healing powers of their own written word
• I want to encourage others to move their bodies and tend to their minds
• I crave work that builds confidence in others
• I understand the importance of deep self care and want to encourage others to nourish their hearts and souls
• I want to invite people to experience the healing powers of nature
• And I want to do all of this with a heart wide open with love

Because how we show up in the world matters.  And when we feel called to do something we have to listen to the universe and simply go after it.  I don't know what shape or form it is going to take but I know that I need to get quiet and listen.  I need to give myself breathing room to figure it out.  I need to remember that it doesn't have to be so hard.  

March is the month of the bear for me which means waking from spiritual slumber / beginning anew.  This card could not be more perfectly timed as I feel the stirring inside my heart getting stronger and this familiar ground I have been traveling on is starting to feel very unfamiliar.  

It is time for me to wake from my slumber and move towards the light that is burning inside my heart.  It is time to transform.  It is time to begin.    

I have been known to do things in life in a non traditional way.  I follow my heart.  Put one foot in front of the other and simply see what happens.  I do not worry to much about the what if's.  I take the chance.  This hasn't always worked out in my favor but one thing is for certain; I have learned so much along the way and have grown into who I am today.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  

As I stand on the edge of this horizon I know I need to leap and give myself space to figure it out.  I cannot delay a single second longer.  Life passes by in the blink of an eye and it is time for me to shine.  I need to step forward and carve my own path.  My journey is just beginning.

How are you meant to shine your light in this world?   

live fully with gratitude

Be grateful
Today, tomorrow, everyday
For this life that you are creating
For the way you show up
For how hard you try
You are surrounded by love
You get in what you give out
You choose how you spend your days
Remember that your words have power
Remember that you can make a difference
Remember that people care deeply about you
Show gratitude towards the things you have
The places you have been
The people walking this life along side you
Say I love you
Often and with conviction
Let others know you care
Spread your spirit
Open your arms out wide and invite others in
Do not be afraid to share your heart
This is your one wild and precious life
Live it out loud filled with gratitude and love

what she taught me

She loved sunflowers, corny jokes, and being with her family.  She didn't ask for extravagant vacations, a stunning home or a glamorous life.  She just wanted to spend time around the ones she loved.  She would drop anything and everything to see her grandkids and her face would light up whenever she was with them.  

She instilled in all of us a love for the holidays.  And she instilled in me a love for crafting.  She taught us to be kind to others, to show respect.  She led by example, always showing up when we needed her.  

She was strong.  She believed in us.  She told us how much she loved us.  And would always cook our favorite meal for our birthdays.  Her gifts were thoughtful.  Her heart was expansive.  She cared deeply and wanted to see us all do well.  

My favorite memories are those where we were laughing over the silliest of things.  This usually occurred when we were crafting together.  We did this often, and those memories are tucked deep into my heart.  

Not a day goes by when I do not think of her.  Her, who taught me to spread my wings and fly. Her who loved sunflowers and sunshine.  Her who always had music playing in the house.  Her who is with me every single day.  I carry her around now, showing her the world from my eyes.  

being ok with saying no

I tend to over commit.  To say yes when I really should be saying no.  I carve out time to do things with friends and family, and it is lovely and divine, but it does not leave me much time to do the things that I want to do.  Like read, write, practice yoga, sit on the front porch and watch the day pass by.  

I am an introvert.  I need time to process.  Time to be alone.  Quiet moments to allow my mind space to rest and be restored.  Having a balance between this quiet and the activities with others is hard for me to do.  I put others first not wanting to disappoint.  I say yes when I really deeply am feeling no.  I think of others and do not consider how it is physically draining me.  

I fill my calendar with things to do but never carve out dedicated time just for me.  I push myself to the limits, constantly on the go until my body forces me to slow down.  This isn't good for me or for others.  When I do not take time for me I do not show up as my best self.  I am tired, quiet, and not really there.  

This is something that I know needs to be adjusted.  If I keep going at this pace I will lose who I am and I do not want to do that.  I want to balance my time and in order to do that I must make myself a priority.  I need to recognize when I am pulling myself thin and I say no when I feel it, even if I think I am disappointing someone.  

Saying no isn't easy.  It take courage.  The realization that you may miss out on something.  And knowing that you will inevitably disappoint someone.  But it is needed to stay whole, to be fully present when you are with someone, and to allow yourself space to rest.  

I am going to take a look at my calendar and intentionally carve out time for me.  I am going to write it in ink and follow through as if it was a commitment with another.  I will hold myself accountable.  And when I have this time I will not use i watching tv or getting sunk down the rabbit hole of social media.  I will be intentional and do what feeds me.  

Do you struggle with saying no?  What could you put in place to help you? Please share in the comments as what you do may be a huge help for someone else.  

where I stand

It is here where I stand
My feet are steady
I do not know where my next step will lead me
But I feel confident to take it

It is here where I stand
Open to all this world has to offer
The brilliant highs and the deepest lows
All of them fill me up

It here where I stand
Ready for anything
I am on an incredible adventure
And I want to savor every moment of it

It here where I stand
Today
But tomorrow I may be someplace else
For that is the beauty of choice

You always have a choice
To stay, to go
To linger on the outskirts
Or dive right in full force

Yes, it is up to you how brightly you want to shine
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve
Or stand just beneath the shadows
How does it make you feel?

Take today to examine where you stand
Feel the moment
Savor the preciousness of this time
Then when you are ready, take your next step