With the NYC Marathon behind me I have been feeling a bit lost. My motivation to wake up at 4:30 and head out the door to run was driven by my training schedule. In my mind I knew I had to follow it in order to be strong enough to cross the finish line. So each day {well, almost each day} I followed what it said. It felt good to be regimented, not have to think about what to do, and work hard towards my goal.
But now with no schedule to follow and no big goal in sight it is hard to find that motivation to get out the door. I have been moving my body due to Yoga Teacher Training but I have yet to lace up my sneakers and run. My body feels tired, heavy, unsure of what it's next step is. I keep searching for that next big goal, that one next thing to keep pushing me forward.
But what if that next thing is just me, my life, how I want to feel?
What if it doesn't have to be a bright shiny object in the distance but simply putting myself first and doing it for me? What if I showed up because I knew it made me feel good? What if I made myself a priority?
My lofty goal is ME! Making myself happy, choosing what feels good, putting myself first. We must take care of ourselves in order take care of others. We must be tender, kind, and do what makes us feel good. It doesn't require following a schedule or sticking to a strict regiment. What matters is following my heart and doing it just because I want to.
And so that is what I am doing. Listening in. Moving my body. Holding myself accountable. Following my heart. And putting one foot in front of the other. What matters is that I show up, and that is exactly what I will do, for me.
