follow your path

As the darkness falls earlier and earlier with the changing of the time my body has shifted into hibernation mode wanting to curl into bed as soon as I arrive home from work.  The darkness feels as if it is engulfing my soul and dimming it's light.  The light that was burning bright and powerful in the warm summer sunshine.  

I know it is not only the darkness that has engulfed me.  Accomplishing a major goal {running the NYC Marathon} and finding myself on the other side of daily training has left me feeling a bit lost and unsure.  I was highly regimented.  Waking up before the sun rose to get my runs in, pushing myself to stick to my schedule.  But now there is no schedule.  Nothing telling me what to do and my feet feel unsteady.  What is my next move?  Where do I go from here?  

There are other goals to be met, dreams to be fulfilled.  I can't allow the darkness to bring me down.   As I did for training, I must keep putting one foot in front of the other and follow my path.  I must be open to where it leads me and trust that I am headed in the right direction. 

"but with out the darkness we never see the stars" ~ unknown

Yes, the darkness can be tough but it opens up opportunities for us to see things that can only be seen under the cloak of darkness.  There is beauty in the dark.  Quiet solace.  A place for deep thinking.  Passion.  Energy.  An unknown path before you ready to be explored.  

I invite you to embrace the darkness with me.  To find your footing on your path and brave the blues that tend to surface this time of year.  For the past couple of years I have turned to #bravingtheblues and find ways to get myself motivated and moving during this time when I usually struggle.  It is always more fun to do things together so together let's walk down the path and find the goodness that is hidden in the dark and let's boldly brave the blues.  

runbelthoffrun

It was the second best day of my life {the first was when I ran the NYC Marathon for the first time}.  A day I will remember forever. There are many stories, many memories, but for now this:

• My friend finding me before the start. Seeing him calmed my nerves and got me energized to step up to the starting line.  
• The electrifying cheers from the crowd.  When anyone said my name it made my day and energized me to keep on going.  I tried finding who said my name in the crowd and was so excited when I did.  It felt as if they showed up just for me, which was an amazing connection between two strangers.  
• Seeing two feathers in the distance and knowing that my family and friends had made it.  And not only had they made it ... there was more of them than I expected.  I was elated. Seeing them filled me up in a way that cannot even describe.  And even though I wasn't able to see them at mile 26 thinking that I was going to helped get me through.  I am so grateful for the craziness they put up with to cheer me on.  
• Spotting "the guy with the tray" who was just in front of me in 2014.  I couldn't believe I saw him!  
• The incredible highs and intense lows.  There were moments when I just wanted to give up and throw in the towel ... but I kept going because pain is temporary.  I ran through it and kept on going.  One foot in front of the other.  
• Seeing my friends wife and having her reach out and touch my arm. It was just the touch I needed to keep on going.  It is amazing what human touch and connection can do.  
•  Entering Central Park and feeling the energy of the crowd.  I was depleted and struggling ... but they took me through.  It was amazing!! 
• High fiving a little kid in front of Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital.  He was a patient at the hospital who had come out to cheer on the runners.  He and so many others is why I showed up to run.  Because I imagine a world without cancer and will do anything I can to make that happen.  
• Seeing my aunts friend on the side of the road cheering all the runners on. She said my name and I saw here .... and didn't expect to see her which was beyond exciting. 
• When the stranger yelled "I see you"  Because really that is all we want in life ... to be seen.  It was her words that kept me going.  One foot in front of the other.  
• My father thanking everyone for showing up as we gathered after the marathon to celebrate.
• Seeing my sister in laws and brother there cheering me on. It meant the world to me that they were there.  
• The roar of the crowd as I came to the end of the Queensboro Bridge. When I ran in 2014 I thought the bridge would never end. This year it wasn't so bad which made me smile.  

I could go on and on.  For the day was amazing.  Beautiful weather, incredible cheering, amazing moments.  My heart is full.  I carry with me the light of my mom and I keep putting one foot in front of the other as I know she would want me to do.  I ran in her memory and felt her with each step cheering me on.  For it is running that has helped me heal.  And it is running that has made me stronger.  I am grateful!  

This Is It

This is it
The moment you have been waiting for
You have worked so hard to get here
Spent a countless number of hours on this one thing
Early morning wake up's
Pushing through past your edge
Tears of joy
Tear of sadness
Brief moments of connection with strangers
New friends made
New roads traveled
All of it has lead you to here
To this moment
None of it would be possible had you not chosen to say yes
Stayed dedicated
Kept showing up
Putting one foot in front of the other
But here you are now
On the verge of an epic journey
Remember to enjoy the ride
Lean deeply in knowing you are prepared
Feel the strength of your mind and body
Allow your soul to guide you
And the cheers from the crowd to carry you
This is it
This is what you have been waiting for
Embrace the unknown and roll with what comes
Take it in, all of it
This is your moment
Live it
 

live fully with gratitude

Be grateful
Today, tomorrow, everyday
For this life that you are creating
For the way you show up
For how hard you try
You are surrounded by love
You get in what you give out
You choose how you spend your days
Remember that your words have power
Remember that you can make a difference
Remember that people care deeply about you
Show gratitude towards the things you have
The places you have been
The people walking this life along side you
Say I love you
Often and with conviction
Let others know you care
Spread your spirit
Open your arms out wide and invite others in
Do not be afraid to share your heart
This is your one wild and precious life
Live it out loud filled with gratitude and love

I am ready

For the past six months I have chosen to show up.  Lacing up my sneakers and pushing myself out the door.  One foot in front of the other.  Exploring different roads, finding new ways home, pushing myself further and further.  With each step I gained strength in my body and my mind.  
When I trained for my first marathon in 2014 each mile I ran was a new goal accomplished.  At the time the most I had ever run was 3 miles, and here I was looking to go 26.2.  As I slowly increased my distance I was hitting numbers I never thought possible, 6, 10, 15, and even 20 miles.  I felt an incredible sense of accomplishment after each run.  

This time around I began knowing that I do have it in me to make it 26.2.  I have done it before and if I stay dedicated and show up than I increase my chances of being able to make it happen.  I settled into a wonderful routine of waking up before the sun rose and getting my miles in before heading out to work.  This was not the way I trained in 2014 but this slight shift felt monumental.  I enjoyed the quietness that engulfed me on my morning runs. 

I am six days away from stepping up to the starting line and my heart is filled with gratitude.  It has been an epic journey!  In 2014 the mantra that rang through my head prior to race day was:

I am ready
I will run strong
I am ready
I will run happy
I am ready

These words play on repeat in my mind today.  I hope that I feel the incredible elation and joy that I felt when I ran that first time in 2014.  I know that is a big ask considering there is only one first time but I am holding that thought close.  I want to run happy.  I want to run strong.  I want to finish smiling.  I have shown up.  I have prepared.  I am ready.  

I am running in memory of my mom, for family and friends who have kicked cancers a** and for those are are deep in the fight.  I am running on Fred's Team to support Cancer Research at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital and I couldn't be prouder of the work they do.  There is still time to support this great cause.  Jump on over to my fundraising page to hear a piece of my story and share your support. Every dollar counts!

believe in yourself

If there is one thing I could tell you
It would be
Believe in yourself
Today, tomorrow, forever
Always believe in yourself

You are a divine light in this world
What you do
What you say
Who you are
Matters

Believe this with your entire heart
Feel it
Know it
Never forget it
Because YOU, yes you are incredible

You work so hard
You show up
You share your heart
You give it everything you got
You do not give up

Take a moment to see how far you have traveled
The journey may have felt long
But you overcame obstacles
You stood up for what you believe in
You found your way to you

You are who you are today because you carved the path
You created yourself
You choose your own happiness
You followed your heart
You kept stepping forward

So when your chips may be down
And you aren't sure which way to turn
Remember this moment
Remember how much you have accomplished
And how hard you have worked

And believe in yourself
Always, always, always
Believe in yourself