love letter to running

Dear Running,

I feel like I could write a novel about how much I adore you!  There are so many stories, memories, and lessons learned from you.  My heart is full and I am glad that we have become friends again.  

Remember when we broke up, twice?  

The first time was when I was in high school.  I had fallen in love with you after joining the cross country team.  Being able to leave the circular motion of the track and go out onto the streets was thrilling.  Yet my senior year during outdoor track my mind became bored with you.  Going around in circles just wasn't for me.  My coach was great about it offering me up shorter distances and even a try at throwing the javelin.  But here's the thing; Belthoff's don't have speed and when I tried to throw the javelin I hit myself in the head.  That should have been the sign for me to stick with running distance but I just didn't get it and so I left you.  

The second time we broke up was because I was afraid of you.  I had joined the cross country team in college and was excited to get back out onto the road.  At one of the practices we ventured off into the streets.  I was struggling to keep up with the others and was terrified that I wasn't going to be able to find my way back.  I did find my way back but ended up giving up on you.  Funny how those very roads are now my stomping ground and I know them like the back of hand.  

Somewhere along the way we got back together.  I don't remember when or why, but I am so grateful we found our way back.  I am in love with you again and I do not see that love affair ever ending.  I am sure we will have our ups and downs like all relationships do.  There will be moments when I won't speak to you but then I will give you a great big hug and together we will hit the pavement.  

this is how you make me feel

these are the sites you let me see

Oh dear running, you have brought so much to my life.  I love that I do not need much to spend time with you.  All that is required are my sneakers, and even then on the beach I just need my feet.  

You give me the opportunity to clear my head, think through my struggles, and have some time to just be with my thoughts.  You challenge me with hills and push me to travel far from home.  You have shown me beautiful sights and brought me unexpected feathers and sunsets.

The biggest lesson that you have taught me is that I am so much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for and that if I keep showing up day after day I can accomplish what I set out to do.  Every run doesn't have to be perfect.  All I need to do is show up consistently and put one foot in front of the other.  When I do this I become stronger, am able to run further, and accomplish goals I never thought I could accomplish.  

The biggest challenge you ever brought me was training for the NYC Marathon.  I know you were as surprised as I was when I signed up.  It took years for me to get up the courage to say yes but once I did there was no turning back.  My parents taught me I must always see things through to the end and so I did.  It was during this training that I realized how grateful I am for you and how I am never going to let you go.  

Thank you for pushing me to my edge.  For giving me hills that made me stronger.  For allowing me moments to run terribly slow and never once judging me.  It was in those moments that you cheered hard for me and reminded me that what mattered most was that I showed up, especially when I didn't want to.

You have brought me closer to family and friends.  Given me the opportunity to share something that meant so much to me.  You also inspired other family members to lace up their shoes and give it a try.  How divine!  

One of my favorite memories with you was on an ordinary run.  The air was perfect.  It was one of those days where I felt great.  I headed out onto one of my normal routes through the country club.  As I turned down the street near the lake the most beautiful sunset filled the sky.  This stunning site filled my heart with so much joy.  Had I not set off to spend that time with you I wouldn't have experienced that moment.  It is these simple things that fill my heart with so much joy.  

my NYC Marathon cheering squad.  for them I am so grateful!

Another incredible moment that we got to spend together was on November 2, 2014.  The day I ran the NYC Marathon.  That is definitely the best day of my life so far for so many reasons.  It was the moment I had been training for.  There is only one first time for everything we do and this was that moment for me, I was prepared to be fearless and feel it all.  I ran through the city with the biggest smile on my face.  It felt like the city was mine.  The cheers from the crowd and support from family and friends helped take me through to the finish line.  

I remember so clearly the first time I saw my family and friends on the side of the street.  I spotted the orange pom pom and my heart lit up.  They made it, they were here, and they were cheering for me.  It was an incredible feeling.  Without them there I am not sure I would have made it to the end.  

Because of you dear running I was able to feel and see how proud my parents were of me.  There were many times they said it throughout the years but it was in this moment that I could truly feel it deeply.  This feeling will live with me forever.  

Thank you running for helping me find my way back to myself.  For infusing confidence into me.  Helping me find my voice.  And encouraging me to keep showing up and chase after my dreams.  I am grateful for the love you have given me.  The support you have shown.  The challenges you tested me with and the strength you helped me find in myself.  

Our love affair is just beginning and I know our journey together will be long.  I look forward to all the time we are going to spend together and what may unfold.  Sending you so much love as we continue to find our way together.  

xo
Jennifer

Join me in 14 days of love notes and write your very own love note to play.  How do you show up in the world and play?  What way do you integrate play into your everyday?  I will be writing one love letter a day for fourteen days.  For it is love that makes the world go round.  

love letter to car shows

Dear Car Shows,

I know you may find it strange that I am writing a love letter to you, in fact this is one love letter I never thought I would ever write.  Yet here we are with me tapping away at the keys filled with gratitude for YOU!  Yes, I am grateful for you.  

But you don't even care much about cars .... I know this is what you are thinking.  And to be quiet frank with you, I don't.  But I do love you car shows because of what you have brought into my life.  You have given Dustin and I something to do together that makes each of us happy for different reasons.

Him ~ loving all the cars
Me ~ loving the walking around

At each one of your shows we get have the opportunity to be outside together strolling down aisle after aisle of cars.  His eyes light up when he sees something that intrigues him.  Rare cars, cool engines, things I know nothing about but have grown an appreciate for.  I soak in the fresh air, the gentle stroll, the moments of hand holding.  It is the perfect combination for both of us.  

We have experienced many a car show together and they fill us up with so much joy.  So thank you dear car show for filling up parking lots and fields with every car imaginable.  Thank you for pulling us outside and giving us an opportunity to connect with one another.  I love how one thing feeds both of our souls for different reasons.  How divine.  

xo
Jennifer

love letter to play

Dear Play,

I have much to learn from you.  About letting go, not worrying about what others are thinking, and just being present in the moment.  You push me to my edges.  You encourage me to stretch, to reach, to grow.  You bring out my laughter and plaster the biggest smile across my face.  

When I am entangled up in you I forget about the weight that I am carrying around on my shoulders.  I feel as if the world opens up to me and possibilities are endless.  You give me hope to keep on trying and you remind me of the simple joys in life.  

Oh dear play you infuse me with happiness.  You take an ordinary day and make it extraordinary.  

It is not always easy for me to fall into your arms.  There are times when my guard is up and I am unsure of how to let you in.  But once I do I realize how much I need you.  Life without play just isn't a life at all.  

I am grateful to Dustin for always reminding me of you.  He nudges and nudges, knocking down my wall and bringing out the silly in me.  He always get's me to play.  

Thank you for stretching me.  For creating the very best memories.  For infusing laughter.  For brightening my day.  For reminding me again and again what an integral part of my life you are.  Oh dear play, you make this world a brighter place.  

xo
Jennifer

Join me in 14 days of love notes and write your very own love note to play.  How do you show up in the world and play?  What way do you integrate play into your everyday?  I will be writing one love letter a day for fourteen days.  For it is love that makes the world go round.  

love letter to the world

Dear World,

You give me so much.  Stunning sunsets, beautiful days, fresh air to breathe deeply into.  You create this magical work of art that I get to walk through each and every day.  I know there are many days when I do not appreciate it.  So many days when my head is down, my heart is heavy, and I am rushing from one thing to the next.  But you never give up on me.  You always surprise me.  You fill the steps I take with beauty and drop feathers right beneath my feet when I need them most.  Oh world, you fill me up in so many inspiring ways.  Always giving, giving, giving, and never once asking for anything in return.  You allow me space to go whenever my heart wants to travel, and when I am there you show up with your brilliant colors painting the most beautiful scene.  

I am filled with so much gratitude for you.  Grateful for the way you show up and share your light.  You give me so much space to be me.  You challenge me to work through the seasons and shine my light in the darkness.  Thank you for all you do and all you are.  

xo
Jennifer

Join me in 14 days of love notes and write your very own love note to the world.  What would you thank it for?  What are you grateful it has given you?  Each day from now until Valentines day I will be writing one love letter a day.  For it is love that makes the world go round.  

brave journaling

My journal holds my stories and the inner weavings of my heart.  It knows everything about me and gives me space to bravely show up and spill open.  I can tell anything to those pages and it will soak it up.  There is no judgment or talking back, just an open space that I can fall deeply into.  

I have been journaling ever since I was young.  Scribbling down thoughts about my crushes and writing about my deepest fears and dreams.  There is no story that is off limits.  I tell the truth, the whole messy heart wrenching truth.  I work through the darkness and come out on the other side a little bit lighter.  

When I was younger I thought there was something wrong with me because I struggled to form sentences when I was going through something deep and emotional.  I would try to piece together the words but they never came out right.  During one difficult moment my boyfriend at the time saw me struggling deeply so he urged me to pull out my notebook and write.  I wrote and wrote getting it all out of me.  Once I was finished writing we sat down and talked about it and I could actually form sentences and speak, it was incredible.  Showing up on the page first gave me the opportunity I needed to process and understand exactly what I was feeling.  Once I had that space cleared I could articulate what I was going through and we were able to have a really good conversation about it.  

It was in that moment I learned there was nothing wrong with me, I just needed time to process what I was feeling.  The page gives me this opportunity to show up and say everything that is in my heart.  I can write about my deepest and darkest fears.  I can write about the things I feel others may judge me on.  I can write and write.  Once I get it all out of me my head is clear and I am able to have a discussion about it.  

The page is my best friend.  It is the place I turn to first.  It is where I process all of my feelings and figure out my next steps.  My writing is messy.  There are incomplete sentences and misspellings.  There are cross outs, times where I begin again, and other moments where I stop half way through.  It is raw, real, and beautiful.  It is exactly how I feel in that moment. It is my heart spilled onto the page.  

I am grateful to have this space to turn to. Grateful that it allows me the opportunity to be brave.  It is always there waiting for me and I carry it around with me wherever I go because I never know when an emotion, feeling or story will need to be told.  It is my security blanket in a world of uncertainty.  

Yes, journaling is how I come home to myself time and time again. 

Journaling is one of my self care practices.  It is the thing I turn to time and time again.  There may be long stretches where I do not show up, but I know that my journal is always there waiting for me with wide open arms.  

My Brave Journaling class is back for another installment and I couldn't be happier.  It has been incredible to see the way other individuals open up to the page and dive on in.  From first hand experience I know that journaling is healing and seeing that healing take place in others is pure magic.  

This class is for YOU if you are:

• Interested in self-exploration and learning how to use writing as a tool to help you heal and dream
• Looking to unearth your stories
• Wanting to learn how to see the page as a friend and not an intimidating blank space
• Looking to learn how to write from a place from a place of honesty and compassion
• Curious about writing

First time journalers and seasoned writers are welcomed.  

I invite you to join me for 21 days of brave journaling where together we will show up and let our stories spill out onto the page.  

Journaling will:

• Provide you a space to tell your stories
• Help you gain confidence in your voice 
• Help you to become more present
• Guide you into tuning into your feelings
• Provide you the opportunity to release the stories you have been carrying around for far too long
• Awaken your inner spark
• Allow you the opportunity to write from a place of compassion, free of judgement

Class begins February 21st and runs through March 12th and for the very first time I will be offering the opportunity to get a session of mentoring along with the class.  I am beyond excited about this opportunity and the chance to work one on one.  I know that journaling can feel like a very lonely experience at times and through the mentoring session we will be able to connect and work through anything that comes up for you.  

Click HERE to learn more about Brave Journaling!  

I hope to see you in class!  If you have any questions feel free to leave a note in the comments or drop me a message at jbelthoff@gmail.com

hidden gems in the storm

The snow was falling wildly and we were cozied up inside.  There was no place to be except exactly where we were.  Grateful for the roof above our heads, the heat to keep us warm, and the laugher of loved ones bringing so much joy.  

We watched movies, played games, and I even got in some knitting.  We settled in and appreciated each other.  We spent the time together creating memories.  

What I love most about snow storms is the way it slows everything down.  Reminding me to breathe and be exactly where I am.  All plans for the day wiped away.  Comfy clothes and slippers.  Hair a mess and no rush to get anything done.  

It is a blessing to have this time.  To just be as we are.  

As this storm blew in I thought back to the many storms I experienced when I lived alone.  A different kind of peaceful as I hunkered down with a book in hand.  I always drew open my curtains and pulled my couch toward the window so I could watch the show mother nature was putting on.  White glistening flakes covering the ground one at a time.  A work of art being created right before my very eyes.

Sure there is aftermath of the clean up after, but no need to worry about that as the flakes fall.  Now is the chance to settle in.  Hold hands.  Snuggle under a blanket.  Dive into a good book.  Do anything that calls to you.  

And as the storm brewed and the wind howled we did just that.  We slowed down, dozed off, and created.  Beautiful simplicity.