next steps

You are standing on the edge of the cliff and I know out of desperation you want to jump but please just take a moment.  Take a deep breathe in and look around.  Look how far you have come.  I know it is hard right now, really hard, but know that this isn't the end.  In fact it is the beginning of something brand new.  Something unknown.  Something you are in charge of creating.  This is your opportunity to find what makes you happy and create that happiness for yourself.  You no longer have to live where you do not want to be.  But don't jump to quickly.  Be thoughtful about your next steps.  Realize how one step leads to another and you want to create a strong block for you to stand on.  

I know you are hurt.  I can see it in your eyes.  I know the pain is deep.  But know that this pain is temporary.  There is a fresh new world waiting for you, ready to embrace you with love and light.  Fall deeply into this love.  Do not carry your hurt with you every where you travel.  Smile, laugh, remember how truly amazing you are.  Yes, you are incredible.  Do not ever let anyone else tell you other wise.  You get to decide what you are going to do next.  You decide who you are going to let in, and who are you going to let go of.  Follow your heart and trust your gut.  You know what you want. You know what you need.  Do not compromise on the things that matter most to you. Show up with your head held high and your shoulders back.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  You gave it your all.  You learned valuable lessons along the way.  You are shifting into new possibilities.  Be right here.  

you choose

There are gonna be times when you feel like you cannot stand on your own.  When you want to crumble because you think it is all crashing around you.  But then you remember that this is just a moment in time, many others you have had before.  You made it through those times and you know you will make it through this.  

Life isn't always easy, but it is always worth it.  Because when you give your heart you know you are risking the potential that it will break.  And you are ok with that because the risk is worth what might be.  You never know what can happen until you take the leap.  You know you must always take the leap. 

And look how many times you leapt.  Of course there are times when it didn't work out, but when it did it was good, so very good.  You know you have to live bravely.  You know you have to try.  You know you are not meant to live small.  You know even when you are scared you must stand in the face of that fear and push yourself forward.  You have an incredible amount of courage.  You love with your heart wide open and you invite others in.  This is divine.  

You have this ability to find the beauty, even in the darkest moments.  You do not let others bring you down.  You choose to let your light shine brightly.  You know that the world can be a scary place and what matters most is kindness and love.  You show up.  Even when you aren't sure what to do you are present.  You feel the moment.  You understand the energy.  You allow space to breathe and simply just be.  

Never underestimate the power that comes with you being YOU.  Stand tall in who you are.  Don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't good enough.  Reach our head up towards the light.  Hold on to the positive outlook that beams from your heart.  Always seek out the beauty and never give up.  This is your one wild and precious life.  Live it the way you want it to be.  

believe in yourself

Believe in yourself
Know that you can do it
Yes, YOU
You got this
You totally got this
I know it isn't easy
But remember you are the one carving your own path
You are the one choosing where you are going
And how you will get there
This is divine
Cherish the freedom
Savor the unknown
Have fun along the way
You are so much stronger than you ever give yourself credit for
You are wise
You are brave
You are a beacon of light
Tuck these words into your heart and never forget them
Believe in yourself
Yes, believe in yourself
There is no one else in the world like YOU
Keep rocking on!

feeling the support

You never know what you are capable of until you try.  You have to be willing to risk to see what is possible.  You have to leap into the unknown and be ok with whatever outcome occurs.  You have to let go of expectations and just be in the moment.  

I am learning these lessons each and every day throughout my marathon training. There must be no expectations.  I just need to show up, listen to my body, and put one foot in front of the other.  What happens after that is out of my control.  I am doing the work by showing up.  I am proving what I am capable of by putting one foot in front of the other.  I am here.  I am present.  
Along with training for the marathon I am also raising money for cancer research. This in itself is a whole other journey.  One that requires me stepping deeply outside of my comfort zone.  To help raise my pledged amount I hosted a fundraiser; an afternoon of games and fun.  Hosting this type of event makes me queasy and nervous.  

1. I am not very good at party planning.  
2. When it comes to asking for people to help out and bring something along, I would much rather just figure it out myself.  I struggle with the asking.  
3. That struggling for asking runs deep, especially when it comes to asking people to donate money.   

But here's what I learned.  People want to help.  They want to be a part of something.  They want to show support any way they can.  When I am out on the road running it may just be me and the road but there is tribe of individuals cheering me on and supporting each step I take.

The support I have is immense.  Friends and family arrived with smiles, ready to play and more than willing to donate.  There was lots of laughter and beautiful memories made.  The love and support I felt from them has ben tucked deep in my heart and I will carry it with me on my training and on race day.  

I am grateful for all the lessons I am learning on this journey.  For all the stories I have heard and shared.  For the connections and the moments.  Training for a marathon is a priceless opportunity.  I am beyond grateful that I am healthy enough to have the opportunity to do it.  

Thank you for your support.  For your love.  For your cheers.  Without each of you I would be standing still wondering if I am able to do it.  You have helped me believe in myself.  You have pushed me forward.  Thank YOU!

putting yourself first

Are you ready?  
Today is the day you choose YOU
Yes, the day you put yourself first
Listen to what it is you need
And go ahead and do it
Right now
Add yourself to your own to do list
Yes, go ahead
I will wait
For far to long you have been putting others first
And that is great that you care so much
But you also  need time to fill your well and fuel your soul
Today is the day to take that time
To make yourself a priority
And not let anyone get in the way of that
Do you want ten minutes to write?
A chance to go for a run?
A moment to sit and meditate?
What is it?
What is your heart and soul asking for?
Listen deeply
Hear what it is saying
And then take action
Today is as good a day as any to begin
So begin today
Put yourself first
Take care of YOU
Nurture your soul
Give yourself space to breathe
Don't wait another minute longer
Begin today

journey to 26.2

"A river cuts through a rock not because of it's power but it's persistence" ~unknown

In just two shorts months I will be showing up at the starting line of the NYC Marathon.  It feels like a lifetime ago that I said yes.  My heart has opened deeply on this training journey.    

I have ...
Explored new roads.  Gained confidence in myself.  Reached further than I thought I could go.  Payed attention.  Completely zoned out.  Learned new ways to train.  Given up.  Pushed myself out the door.  Let go of expectations.  Smiled.  Cried.  Thrown my hands up in victory.  Waved hello.  Woken up early, earlier than I ever thought I would.  Fell in love with running in the morning.  Found a countless number of feathers.  Climbed hills.  Sped up.  Slowed down.  Listened to what my body was saying.  Learned that persistence pays off.  

I am grateful for the moments I get to run.  It gives me a chance to clear my head, untangle my heart, and find my way back home.  I never thought that running would be such an integral part of who I am, but it is and I am so grateful to have it.  

With each step I have taken I can feel the presence of my mom right along side of me.  When I feel like I can't keep going a feather appears and I know she is near.  Running the NYC Marathon in her memory has given me an opportunity to heal.  It has helped me pick up the broken pieces of my heart and tend to them.  Fresh air, warm sunshine, and the open road helps breathe life back into my tired soul.  

I still have a ways to go on this journey but I am excited about where I am going.  I am beginning to feel strong and confident.  I am finding my way, navigating this unknown terrain.  I am pushing myself forward.  With gratitude in my heart I fill each step with love.  The journey to 26.2 is long but it is beautiful.  So many things learned along the way.  So much love, so many cheers.  I stand here today ready to take on the next two months 

I am running with Fred's Team.  This team is associated with Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital and raises money to support critical cancer research as MSK's Cancer Center.  I am proud to do what I can to fight the fight against this terrible disease and I envision a day when we will be without it.  My inspiration to run has been driven by how deeply my family and so many others are affected by cancer each day.  Join me in this fight and help me raise as much money as I can for cancer research.  No amount is two small and every dollar counts.  Together let's imagine a world without cancer! 

A great big thank you to everyone that has already donated and to those who have been cheering me on throughout this journey.  Without the love and support that I have been receiving I am not sure I would have made it it this far.  Running a marathon is a solitary journey but the runner is never truly alone.  Support, kindness, and cheers have filled my heart with love and for this I am deeply grateful!