love letter to the world

Dear World,

You give me so much.  Stunning sunsets, beautiful days, fresh air to breathe deeply into.  You create this magical work of art that I get to walk through each and every day.  I know there are many days when I do not appreciate it.  So many days when my head is down, my heart is heavy, and I am rushing from one thing to the next.  But you never give up on me.  You always surprise me.  You fill the steps I take with beauty and drop feathers right beneath my feet when I need them most.  Oh world, you fill me up in so many inspiring ways.  Always giving, giving, giving, and never once asking for anything in return.  You allow me space to go whenever my heart wants to travel, and when I am there you show up with your brilliant colors painting the most beautiful scene.  

I am filled with so much gratitude for you.  Grateful for the way you show up and share your light.  You give me so much space to be me.  You challenge me to work through the seasons and shine my light in the darkness.  Thank you for all you do and all you are.  

xo
Jennifer

Join me in 14 days of love notes and write your very own love note to the world.  What would you thank it for?  What are you grateful it has given you?  Each day from now until Valentines day I will be writing one love letter a day.  For it is love that makes the world go round.  

brave journaling

My journal holds my stories and the inner weavings of my heart.  It knows everything about me and gives me space to bravely show up and spill open.  I can tell anything to those pages and it will soak it up.  There is no judgment or talking back, just an open space that I can fall deeply into.  

I have been journaling ever since I was young.  Scribbling down thoughts about my crushes and writing about my deepest fears and dreams.  There is no story that is off limits.  I tell the truth, the whole messy heart wrenching truth.  I work through the darkness and come out on the other side a little bit lighter.  

When I was younger I thought there was something wrong with me because I struggled to form sentences when I was going through something deep and emotional.  I would try to piece together the words but they never came out right.  During one difficult moment my boyfriend at the time saw me struggling deeply so he urged me to pull out my notebook and write.  I wrote and wrote getting it all out of me.  Once I was finished writing we sat down and talked about it and I could actually form sentences and speak, it was incredible.  Showing up on the page first gave me the opportunity I needed to process and understand exactly what I was feeling.  Once I had that space cleared I could articulate what I was going through and we were able to have a really good conversation about it.  

It was in that moment I learned there was nothing wrong with me, I just needed time to process what I was feeling.  The page gives me this opportunity to show up and say everything that is in my heart.  I can write about my deepest and darkest fears.  I can write about the things I feel others may judge me on.  I can write and write.  Once I get it all out of me my head is clear and I am able to have a discussion about it.  

The page is my best friend.  It is the place I turn to first.  It is where I process all of my feelings and figure out my next steps.  My writing is messy.  There are incomplete sentences and misspellings.  There are cross outs, times where I begin again, and other moments where I stop half way through.  It is raw, real, and beautiful.  It is exactly how I feel in that moment. It is my heart spilled onto the page.  

I am grateful to have this space to turn to. Grateful that it allows me the opportunity to be brave.  It is always there waiting for me and I carry it around with me wherever I go because I never know when an emotion, feeling or story will need to be told.  It is my security blanket in a world of uncertainty.  

Yes, journaling is how I come home to myself time and time again. 

Journaling is one of my self care practices.  It is the thing I turn to time and time again.  There may be long stretches where I do not show up, but I know that my journal is always there waiting for me with wide open arms.  

My Brave Journaling class is back for another installment and I couldn't be happier.  It has been incredible to see the way other individuals open up to the page and dive on in.  From first hand experience I know that journaling is healing and seeing that healing take place in others is pure magic.  

This class is for YOU if you are:

• Interested in self-exploration and learning how to use writing as a tool to help you heal and dream
• Looking to unearth your stories
• Wanting to learn how to see the page as a friend and not an intimidating blank space
• Looking to learn how to write from a place from a place of honesty and compassion
• Curious about writing

First time journalers and seasoned writers are welcomed.  

I invite you to join me for 21 days of brave journaling where together we will show up and let our stories spill out onto the page.  

Journaling will:

• Provide you a space to tell your stories
• Help you gain confidence in your voice 
• Help you to become more present
• Guide you into tuning into your feelings
• Provide you the opportunity to release the stories you have been carrying around for far too long
• Awaken your inner spark
• Allow you the opportunity to write from a place of compassion, free of judgement

Class begins February 21st and runs through March 12th and for the very first time I will be offering the opportunity to get a session of mentoring along with the class.  I am beyond excited about this opportunity and the chance to work one on one.  I know that journaling can feel like a very lonely experience at times and through the mentoring session we will be able to connect and work through anything that comes up for you.  

Click HERE to learn more about Brave Journaling!  

I hope to see you in class!  If you have any questions feel free to leave a note in the comments or drop me a message at jbelthoff@gmail.com

hidden gems in the storm

The snow was falling wildly and we were cozied up inside.  There was no place to be except exactly where we were.  Grateful for the roof above our heads, the heat to keep us warm, and the laugher of loved ones bringing so much joy.  

We watched movies, played games, and I even got in some knitting.  We settled in and appreciated each other.  We spent the time together creating memories.  

What I love most about snow storms is the way it slows everything down.  Reminding me to breathe and be exactly where I am.  All plans for the day wiped away.  Comfy clothes and slippers.  Hair a mess and no rush to get anything done.  

It is a blessing to have this time.  To just be as we are.  

As this storm blew in I thought back to the many storms I experienced when I lived alone.  A different kind of peaceful as I hunkered down with a book in hand.  I always drew open my curtains and pulled my couch toward the window so I could watch the show mother nature was putting on.  White glistening flakes covering the ground one at a time.  A work of art being created right before my very eyes.

Sure there is aftermath of the clean up after, but no need to worry about that as the flakes fall.  Now is the chance to settle in.  Hold hands.  Snuggle under a blanket.  Dive into a good book.  Do anything that calls to you.  

And as the storm brewed and the wind howled we did just that.  We slowed down, dozed off, and created.  Beautiful simplicity. 

the open road

“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again- to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more.”

— Pico Ayer

In my early twenties I drove cross country with a friend and someone she knew whom I had never met.  This person I never met had just gotten a new car and wanted to take it across the country.  Was I up for the adventure?  You bet!  Did I mind that I didn't know the girl who owned the car, not one bit. 

We had one plan in mind, make it to California where Sara's mom lived.  What happened in between NJ and CA was left to unfold as we went along.  We had a few places we could crash for the night but besides that the road was our opportunity to explore.  It was on this trip that my love affair with the open road began.  I was enamored with the endless possibility that we could go anywhere.  

With open roads before us there was no one except ourselves telling us to go left, right, no...LEFT!!!  I saw things I never saw before, like the wide open sky, billions of stars, and the sun setting in the grand canyon.  Nothing had to be perfect, we made it up as we went along.  

As I have gotten older and my days feel full with errands and a long list of things to do adventure has fallen to the bottom of the list.  I forget sometimes that it doesn't have to be a big trip across the country.  Adventure is always waiting for me right around the corner.  It is a block I have never traveled down, a trail I didn't know existed, taking a different way home and seeing things I never knew where there.  Yes, there is always something new to see and experience, I just have to be open to it.  

And so I am opening my eyes a little bit more.  Seeking out the unexpected.  Looking around the corner and taking the long way home.  I am going on little adventures and stepping outside of my comfort zone.  I don't know what will unfold, but that is all part of the adventure.  

What adventure have you taken recently?  Where have you gone near or far that has expanded you in some way?  Together lets make a pact to adventure more often.  

smile more

If you do just one thing today I encourage you to smile more
Let your face shine
Even when you aren’t feeling your best
When frustration is mounting
And you wish you could click your heals and be back home
Yes, in these moments smile
The very act of doing this will change how you feel instantly
Go ahead, give it a try right now
Lift your head up and smile
Feel the way it brings happiness to your heart
One small micro movement creating such a positive affect
When you smile at others they smile back
A chain reaction of happiness
So go ahead, smile more
Smile at strangers
Smile when you feel like stamping your feet and throwing a fit
Smile when you are sitting alone at your desk
Just smile more
Your heart will thank you

choosing happy

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

— Martin Luther King Jr

As I opened the door to my apartment I realized that life as I knew it was changed forever.  Things that had held a certain space for years were gone.  Pictures torn from the wall, the space where the television sat was now empty, draws pulled open and pieces of my heart spilled all over the floor.  

I knew this moment was coming.  I had orchestrated the entire destruction.  I made the poor choices which lead to it's ultimate crumbling.  I stood face to face with what I knew I wanted and I didn't know how to take that first step forward.  He was gone.  He was really gone.  I knew it was going to happen but I wasn't prepared for how it was going to feel.  

We had spent years together, not only as a couple but co-workers.  Almost every minute of every day we were with each other.  All of that was over now.  I had to pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together.  I had no idea how to do this.  

During our years together we had many happy moments filled with deep laughter and love.  But like all couples we also had those darker days.  As our length of time together grew those darker days were more often and the laughter less and less.  I knew I couldn't go on like this forever.  I needed more from life.  More sunshine.  More laughter.  More trust.  More kindness.  

I had no idea how to live life as a single twenty something.  I never lived on my own and always feared doing so.  Yet there I was standing in my apartment surrounded by only my things and I knew that I had two choices.  I could crumble in the face of this destruction.  I could fall apart and let the world swallow me whole or I could pick up the pieces and find my way back to myself.  

During my relationship with him I lost who I was.  I was going through the motions of life but I wasn't really living.  There was no passion, very little joy, and many moments of incredible despair.  This wasn't the way my life was meant to be.  I felt that in my heart and I knew that now was the moment for me to find who I am.

I was no longer going to rely on someone else to make me happy.  I was going to find it myself.  To do this I knew I had to do something that I really struggled with; putting myself first.   I had to listen deeply to what I wanted.  I had to unearth my passions and find out what really ignited my spark.  

I decided to live in a full experimental phase.  Trying anything and everything that interested me.  Hikes in the woods, days spent painting, a 50 mile bike ride, hours and hours spent in the bookstore or library.  If I wanted to do it, I did.  If I didn't, I said no. 

Listening to your heart is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself!  

It took me awhile to learn how to listen to my heart and to get up the courage to follow it's voice.  It wasn't easy for me to put myself first and choose what I really wanted.  There were many moments that I just wanted to crumble.  It was work, so much work navigating this path to happiness.  There were times when I felt like I wasn't cut out for it.  Moment spent sobbing in bed wondering what I got myself into.  

There were times when I would slide back into old patterns but I never gave up.   I kept trying, even when I failed.  Things don't get handed to us. I knew I had to show up day after day and put in the hard work.  It is was only then that I was able to unearth the beauty hidden below the surface.  It was there all along, but I never gave it a chance to shine.  Through the hard work and the struggle it came out.  Had I choose not to find my own happy I never would have unearthed it.  

Life isn't always easy.  But it is how we choose to deal with the hard times that shape us.  How do you show up when the struggle get's real?  How do you unearth the beauty admits the heartache and pain?  How do you choose happy?