here's what I know to be true

In this time of “social distancing,” so much of my routine has been disrupted. I used to be on the go. Running from one thing to the next. Never catching my breath.

But then something happened. The world forced me to come to a standstill. I couldn’t leave my home. i wasn’t expected to be in the office, host girl scout meetings, say yes to events I really wanted to say no to.

In a strange way, I was given permission to just be, exactly where I was.

I remember a day in April. Dustin and I were sitting in the backyard. On any other day, I would have a long list of ‘things’ we should be doing. Errands to be run. Tasks that needed taken care of. But all the “should’s” were thrown out the window and I was given permission to be exactly where I was. What a gift I never knew I needed.

I remember sitting in the backyard and smiling so wide that day. Grateful for being exactly where I was, with nowhere else to go.

We sat in the backyard. Music playing. Sun shining. Just us, together. All we had to do was be in the moment and enjoy each other’s company. It was time we never realized we needed. Time we never had before.

Now here we are, six months later and although some things have opened we still have not chosen to venture beyond our comfort. We choose home-cooked meals over nights out. Time together over time with others. We are continuing to sink into the moment and be home together.

I appreciate the slower movement. Not having to run from one thing to the next. Working from home and not having that long commute. Being given permission to carve our own path forward. A path that looks and feels right for us.

2020 has been an incredible year. Thinking back to January I never, ever imagined I would be sitting where I am today. But oh how incredibly grateful I am. For this space. For this trust. For this opportunity to be right where I am.

I have no idea what the future will hold. Each day is a new adventure. But one thing I know for sure, I am going to keep listening. Keep being. Keep showing up to what feels right in my heart. Because that is all we can do right now. Be true to ourselves and express that truth to others.

Here’s my truth. I love working from home. I am grateful for the amazing, loving relationship I have I am grateful for the way the community I have been nurturing since the end of March has been forming. I couldn’t imagine this time without them. I am so glad I have space to spread out into. Space to be outside. Space to breathe. I am grateful for the inspiration to move my body each day. Grateful for my legs that keep taking one step at a time. I know I could never do all of this alone. I am grateful for the incredible individuals who fill my heart with love and inspiration.

In dark times it can be hard to find the truth, to find the light. But oh my goodness, it is so important. What is true for you right now? What path are you carving?

Writing Prompt

In what way are you unbecoming. Pull out your notebook and pen and give the following prompt a try. To not judge what you put down, simply give it space to breathe on the paper.

Breaking open….

We Need One Another

The prompt above was from the Write Together Community class that I host each Monday night. It is a space for people to come together and spill words onto the page. No prior writing experience is required as the blank page will catch anything you throw at it.

Upcoming Classes

Wanna view all classes, check out the calendar!

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unbecoming

Breaking open into the unknown.
Unsure of the path before you.
The breaking hurts. Stinging the heart.
The feeling of pain seems insurmountable to heal.

The pieces lay on the ground.
Sharp. Piercing.
Unknown layers shedding.
But before you is not what it appears to be.

It’s not all pain.
It’s not all sorrow.
It’s an unbecoming of what you thought you had to believe.
A rising up of what you know to be true in your heart.

A moment of chaos leading to a blank path before you.
You take the lead.
Chart the course and find your way.
To where you are going you need not know.

Trust.
Trust in the journey.
In the unfolding.
In the opening and closing.

Trust in the letting go.
In the inviting in.
Keep stepping forward. One foot in front of the other.
This is how you find your way. This is how you unearth, become and sink into joy

Writing Prompt

In what way are you unbecoming. Pull out your notebook and pen and give the following prompt a try. To not judge what you put down, simply give it space to breathe on the paper.

Breaking open….

We Need One Another

The prompt above was from the Write Together Community class that I host each Monday night. It is a space for people to come together and spill words onto the page. No prior writing experience is required as the blank page will catch anything you throw at it.

Upcoming Classes

Wanna view all classes, check out the calendar!

---

Join me over on Instagram @jbelthoff

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channeling your inner voice

You have your own inner wisdom. It is that voice living inside you that speaks when you get quiet enough to listen. But when you hear it you doubt it. Unsure if it is really speaking the truth and you can trust what it is saying. You hear it. You know it is there, but do you listen?

What would happen if you trusted it? If you jumped all in with what it was telling you to do? What if you didn’t look outward for validation, but looked inside at the road map of your heart? Where would it lead you?

Your inner voice is there. It is always there. It is eager to guide you and is one of your biggest cheerleaders. It wants you to follow your joy, carve your own path forward, and do what lights you up.

It is your truth-teller even in the darkest of moments.

But here’s the thing, you have to get quiet to hear it. Put down your cell phone. Turn off the tv and the music. Maybe even shut the lights. Sit with yourself, with your questions, with your unknown path ahead and listen. Listen to the silence, to the words that bubble up, to the thoughts and emotions that emerge. Give them all a chance to wash through you so that you can hear what the truth-teller inside you has to say.

It takes time and practice to hone in on this inner voice as well as an enormous leap of faith. One way to help unearth it is through writing. Pen and paper can open up the door to your heart and give you a chance to hone in on what your inner wisdom is whispering.

Writing Prompt

Try out the below prompt to begin honing in on your inner voice. What would that inner wisdom say. Begin writing with the following words:

Tomorrow I’m gonna….

Tomorrow I’m gonna begin again. I know I didn’t get it all right today, but that is ok. I’m choose to hug more, judge less. Be a little more patient and get myself a snack when I am feeling cranky.

Tomorrow I’m gonna choose to be kind to myself. Give my heart the compassion it deserves and not judge the mistakes that I make.

Tomorrow I’m gonna let go of the expectations I have of others and allow them the space to be who they are, as they are.

Tomorrow I’m gonna breath in the fresh air. Put my toes in the cool we grass. Feel the sun on my face and remember how important it is for me to get outside.

Tomorrow I’m gonna choose joy over fear. Create space for me to be exactly who I am and be ok with doing nothing at all.

Tomorrow I’m gonna allow myself space to move, navigate, and find my way through the day at my own pace.

Tomorrow is not always promised. I think it will be there, but we never know. So tomorrow I’m gonna give gratitude for another opportunity to try again.

We Need One Another

The prompt above was from the Write Together Community class that I host each Monday night. It is a space for people to come together and spill words onto the page. No prior writing experience is required as the blank page is a clean slate for anyone to put anything down.

I invite you to join me next week in our Writing circle or any one of the other virtual events. All classes take place on Zoom and are in EST time. I would love to see your radiant face on the screen.

We need one another and can do so much more when we come together. Being in community provides an opportunity to unearth, be seen, and be heard. Take the leap and join us.

Upcoming Classes

Wanna view all classes, check out the calendar!

---

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If we could

If we could sit together, even if just for a moment
I would encourage you to drop all expectations
Be in the moment
Feel the sunshine on your skin
Listen to the wind as it blows past your ears

I would invite you to open up
Share your heart
Share your dreams
Forget about what is impossible
And indulge yourself in what you truly desire

Together we would plan
We would scheme
We would come up with ways to make it happen
How grand, to let loose
And sink into the magic of it all

What fun we would have together
There would be laughter mixed with tears
Cheers of excitement
Hugs, and hand holding
And the feeling that anything can happen would fuel our souls

We need this time together
To be seen
Be heard
To be reminded that our dreams are needed
And we are worth it

If we could sit together
Oh the things that could happen
Things we haven’t even begun to dream of would unfold
As we breathe life into the unexpected
And trust the journey in front of us

One day
Yes, one day
We will sit together
I feel it in my heart, know it in my bones
And cannot wait to be with YOU!

We Need One Another

I invite you to join me in this virtual circle. Where you can show up exactly as you are. Yes, your hair can be a mess (mine always is). Yes, you can be in your pj’s and even snuggled up in your bed. Yes, you can sign up the moment before class begins.

What matters most is knowing that you aren’t alone. There is a community just waiting to sit with you. No prior experience in anything is needed to attend any of these virtual gatherings. Arrive as you are.

Check out the upcoming classes below to see what is coming up and click on a particular event to register. Note that all times are in EST and all classes take place on Zoom.

In Write Together you will be surrounded by fellow word lovers and guided through writing practice. You do not have to call yourself a writer to join in. The act of putting words down on the page is what matters most.

At Qigong Tara will lead us through breath and movement coming together to create a moving meditation. Qigong merges the body and the environment to create energetic balance and wellbeing. Its goal is to continually bring the body into a state of harmony.

In Art Journaling. Where we gather together in community to create alongside one another. I will provide prompts to get you going and you will have the opportunity to create based on the supplies you have on hand. You do not need to call yourself an artist to join in.

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Join me over on Instagram @jbelthoff

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Showing Up

It is not easy to choose to live wide open
To wear your heart on your sleeve
Share your truest desires
Show up, and try something new

It is not easy to put yourself out there
To take a risk
To go after it
To see what will unfold form your choices

It is not easy

But you do it
Time and time again you show up
Unsure, legs shaky
Never fully ready

You jump in
Because you know you can not live closed up
You know you have to try to see what could be
You know to risk means to live

When you cocoon yourself in
You shut out the possibility
Close yourself off from opportunity
Hide your light that needs to shine

If you never risk you never know

Along the way, there will be bumps in the road
Moments of total failure and perceived embarrassment
Your heart will sink, tears will fall, you will be crushed
But you will still be able to move on

You will lean on your loved ones
Allow the hurt to wash over you
Trust the process
And begin again

You will not allow a speed bump to steer you off course

Continue on you do
And the magic finds you
Your dreams unfold
And when you least expect it you are shining brilliantly

This is wh you show up time and time again
This is why you risk vulnerability
This is why you lean in, speak your truth, ask for help
This is why you never give up

The course may change
The journey may seem trying
But along the way, the pieces fall together
The true nature of your dream reveals itself to you

Let’s Gather Together

I invite you to join me in this virtual circle. Where you can show up exactly as you are. Yes, your hair can be a mess (mine always is). Yes, you can be in your pj’s and even snuggled up in your bed. Yes, you can sign up the moment before class begins.

What matters most is you knowing that you aren’t alone. There is a community just waiting to sit with you. No prior experience in anything is needed to attend any of these virtual gatherings. Arrive as you are.

Check out the upcoming classes below to see what is coming up and click on a particular event to register. Note that all times are in EST and all classes take place on Zoom.

In Write Together you will be surrounded by fellow word lovers and guided through writing practice. You do not have to call yourself a writer to join in. The act of putting words down on the page is what matters most.

At Qigong Tara will lead us through breath and movement coming together to create a moving meditation. Qigong merges the body and the environment to create energetic balance and wellbeing. Its goal is to continually bring the body into a state of harmony. Classes are on Wednesday and Friday.

Then finish off the week with Art Journaling. Where we gather together in community to create alongside one another. I will provide prompts to get you going and you will have the opportunity to create based on the supplies you have on hand. You do not need to call yourself an artist to join in.

---

Join me over on Instagram @jbelthoff

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getting it down

Are you getting this down he asked?  How at this moment in time we are at home.  No need to go anywhere.  No need to rush.  No need to do your hair.  No need to be perfect.  

Are you getting this down? Capturing the ordinary moments.  

Sitting outside with your laptop working from home.  You always dreamed of a job you could do from home and now here you are.  Sinking into the glory of it. 

So many ordinary moments. 
A walk around the block.
Building Legos.
Zoom writing classes.
Sitting, just sitting and being.  

There is no rush to be anywhere but here.  Even if you have a meeting or need to catch up with a friend you only need a minute beforehand to prepare. 
No commute to work.
No rushing out of the office to try to make it to Girl Scouts on time.  No running from one thing to the next.  

Are you getting it all down?

Yes, I’m getting it down.  I’m capturing the joy, the fear, the unease, the laughter.  The roller coaster ride of emotions that lead me on a journey where I have no idea where it will end.  

This is life now.  This slow-moving pace.  This living on the edge of the fear of the unknown.  Wanting to do so many things I took for granted before.  Hugging, spending time with family.  Sleepovers with my nieces and nephews.  Grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend at Starbucks.  Having a glass of wine on Alice’s balcony.

What was second nature has become foreign and unknown?  Riddled with fear.  And the truth is, I am not even sure we will ever get it back.  

Will I ever feel comfortable going to a Yankees game, staying in a hotel, boarding a plane, walking into a supermarket.  Will, what I knew as normal ever return?  Right now it feels so uncertain.  

And so I cling to the moments I can sink into. Watching the birds at the feeder.  Early morning workouts that do not require me to rush to the shower, to change, and drive 45 minutes to work.  Sitting in the backyard with  Dustin.  Him listening to music, me reading my book.  Hearing my niece tell me about her day over facetime.  Cooking more often together.  Easing into the stillness of each other.  

What’s to come?  I do not know.  But  I know that I can be right here, right now.  Savoring this moment and getting it down.    

Let’s Gather Together

I invite you to join me in this virtual circle. Where you can show up exactly as you are. Yes, your hair can be a mess (mine always is). Yes, you can be in your pj’s and even snuggled up in your bed. Yes, you can sign up the moment before class begins.

What matters most is you knowing that you aren’t alone. There is a community just waiting to sit with you. No prior experience in anything is needed to attend any of these virtual gatherings. Arrive as you are.

Check out the upcoming classes below to see what is coming up and click on a particular event to register. Note that all times are in EST and all classes take place on Zoom.

---

Join me over on Instagram @jbelthoff

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