the simple moments

I crave moments over possessions.  Tiny pockets of time where connection runs deep.  I love when my heart opens up and a lasting memory is created.  This is more important to me than fancy shoes or an expensive vacation.  The best moments occur through a shared experience.  

Randomly finding a beautiful spot along side of a pond and spending all day there chatting and laughing.  

Coffee together

Long walks

Getting lost in the woods

These precious moments fill my heart.  It is what gives purpose and meaning to life.  Yes, nice things are nice.  But for me they are not a necessity.  I need the basics for survival.  Not the fanciest car, biggest house, or most expensive piece of jewelry.  

“I’m just searching for moments”

— One Week

I crave living simply.  Letting go of material things.  Purchasing only the things I need and purging what I don't.  I choose to carve out time for adventure.  Take the chance to connect.  Push myself outside of my comfort zone.  

How about you?  What is it you crave in life?

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Let's Work Together

summer reading list

There has been a bit of sweetness that has come with being unemployed.  I have slowed down and gotten back into many of the things I enjoy that I always put on the back burner.  Sinking into a good book is one of the things that I am loving these days. 

On my night stand sits a stack of books.  I can pick up anyone of these books ad instantly feel inspired no matter what page I turn to.  The library has also become my second home.  Reading on my front porch in the sunshine makes my heart smile.

Some of the books I have devoured this summer are:

How to Walk Away - Katherine Center
If you have never read a book by Katherine Center I highly recommend you pick one up.  All of her novels are fabulous.  You get to know the characters in her books so well that they feel like friends.  I get so sad each time I come to the end of one.  How to Walk Away is her latest book but you can't go wrong with any of them.  

Secrets in Summer - Nancy Thayer
This was the first book I ready by Nancy Thayer and it was the perfect summer read.  Fun, easy to follow storyline that transported me to Nantuck and made me dream of visiting one day.  

Moving Water - Christine Mason Miller
I first read this book two summers ago but had to read it again.  It is a story that reminds you how deeply you matter and how your choices effect others.  It is a brave story of life with all its unpredictable messy moments mingling with the love and laughter.  I admire Christine's bravery to share her hearts so openly and the courage to tell the truth about the messy parts.  

Univited - Lysa TerKeurst
So many of the words in this book hit me like deep truth bombs.  Throughout there is a lot of spiritual talk about God and different bible versus.  This is not usually my jam but I shifted God to what I believe in and was able to savor so many human truths.  

Have you read anything good lately?  What books live on your nightstand

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One-On-One Mentoring

take flight

You might not know where you are going, but the only way to take flight is by boarding the plane.  Standing with your two feet firmly planted on the ground will not get you anywhere.  You need to move.  You need to reach.  You need to take a chance.  

For the past ten years {probably even more} I have been living within the same two mile radius.  Yes, I moved four times but I didn't go far.  My home location shifted but everything else remained the same.  I go to the same grocery store.  Check out books from the same library.  Travel down the same roads.  I know this area like the back of my hand.  There is a comfort here.  

There is also this tiny little whisper that I am beginning to hear.  It is seeking out a shift, wanting to explore new roads, and unearth different places.  Experience what life is like beyond this two mile radius.  

I have always dreamt of living in a sleepy little seaside town.  Where I could get all of my errands done on my bicycle.  Spend evenings on the porch with loved ones.  Go for walks at night.  Listen to the sound of the ocean daily.  Enjoy the buzz of the summer visitors and savor the quiet when they scurried home.  A little town that I could become deeply engrained in the small community.  

I recently finished a book about Nantucket where the main character was a children's librarian.  Even though I have never been there I found myself wishing I could click my heels and be transported.  This book got me buzzing about a different place, a slower life, an opportunity to savor the outdoors more than I get to today.    

What has held me to this tiny radius is my family and my love.  It would be hard to be a plane ride away from family.  We do so much together and it is such a joy to be an aunt my nieces and nephews.  My love is part of a family business that is rooted here as well.  

But this feeling inside of me has me wondering.  With no job tying me down is it time to take a leap and seek what is beyond?  Throughout this entire uncertain moment of my life I have been keeping one thing close; staying open.  I am staying open to possibility.  Staying open to unearthing what the next right step is.  Staying open to embracing the moment in front of me.  I am simply staying open.  

In this state of openness flight is possible.  I know I need to keep following my heart.  Keep stepping forward.  Keep moving.  When I stop everything becomes stagnant and I lose my passion and fire.  The idea of flight lights me up.  It reminds me that I can do anything.  

And so I do not extinguish the tiny voice.  I acknowledge it even though I do not know what it means.  I listen to it and continue to listen to all the whispers.  I do what feels right.  I keep stepping forward.  I extend my arms and prepare to fly.  

---

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just a moment

Take a moment for you
Even one single moment will infuse you with love
Step outside
Breathe in the fresh air
Soak in the warm sunshine
Put down your to do list
And set your worries aside
Think about what makes you happy
What lights you up
Smile a great big smile
Even if you do not feel like smiling, smile
Listen to the sounds around you
Do nothing else but sit within the moment
For this one moment there are no expectations
You have no place to be
And nothing to do
Just be right here
Your heart and mind need this space
Give them exactly what they desire
And what you deserve
Sit and observe
Do not judge what bubbles up
Just acknowledge it and let it go
Continue to smile
This is your moment
Be right here
Allow gratitude to swirl around you
Feel all the feels
Your moment is waiting
Go ahead and take it

---

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Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Three years ago you left to walk a different path.  It was all so sudden and unexpected.  One minute you were given a clean bill of health and in the next moment cancer had consumed your entire body.  You fought incredibly hard and were courageous beyond words.  Even in your final days you never stopped mothering us.  Telling us to not spend so much time at the hospital; "you have lives to live" you had said.  But there was no other place we wanted to be but by your side. 

You now watch over us and send signs to let us know you are there.  Each time a sign is received it is a ripple effect of emotion and we all feel the love.  Right before we were about to go on the boat to visit the spot we spread your ashes Father found the tiniest of feathers.  It warmed our hearts deeply. 

You should see the feather collection I have accumulated.  Always at the perfect moment I find one and it brings a smile to my face.  I think about you everyday and am grateful for the conversations we have in the pages of my notebook.  You help guide me forward.  Even though you are not here in person your spirit is still strong and vibrant in my heart.  

We continued our yearly tradition of gathering together to celebrate you.  Of course it was at your favorite spot, the beach.  What a gift you have given us in your passing.  You have made us all appreciate the importance of family and take time to spend with one another.  This weekend together is a blessing and we all feel you right there with us.  

Some of us headed out to where we spread your ashes to drop sunflowers into the water.  You would love the way they float on top of the sea.  It is such a beautiful site to watch them drifting.  While we were out there they were getting ready for a sailboat competition.  I remember you always saying you dreamed of owning a sailboat. 

We then spent the day swimming, laughing, enjoying each others company, and eating delicious food.  The kids also shared the Grandma June memories books they have made using all of your scrapbooking things.  These little books hold so much love and bring back so many incredible memories.  

At sunset we all gathered at the end of the dock to toss more sunflowers into the river and blow you a kiss.  I still remember standing in the funeral home linked arm in arm and Father asking us all to blow you a kiss from the grandkids.  It was wonderful being together and watching the sunflowers drift.  This year they took right off towards the canal.  Maybe they were headed to Chadwick Island.  

We all miss you so much.  Thank you for making us strong enough to get through this.  Thank you for always watching over.  Thank you for teaching us that family is everything and sharing is caring.  You are forever in our hearts.  

Sending you so much love!

Love,
Jennifer

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living on your own terms

"Looking around at all that is between these four walls my heart overflows with gratitude.  Everything in this space is a direct reflection of who I am and the journey I am traveling.  The shelves are filled with books, art, and photographs.  There are mini alters tucked in all around with pieces of nature and talismans from my travels.  You may look at that glass jar filled with shells and think they are just shells but they hold the stories of my unearthing.  You will not find a television but you will see a red bicycle with a basket and a cozy spot to sit and write. 

I am the one who crafted this space.  I am the one who made it happen.  This is my little haven.  It is in this space where I feel peaceful, safe and happy.  I am free to dream.  Free to grow.  Free to do whatever my heart desires.  I am grateful to be here alone."  - words from my journal 2010

I came across these words as I was going through some of my old journals.  I was immediately transported back to my tiny studio apartment which held me gently, gave me a new form of independence, and space to unearth who I am.  

Prior to living alone I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it.  Would I get scared?  Would it be lonely?  Would I struggle?  The answer to those three questions is yes.  I would get scared.  I would be lonely.  I would struggle.  But in living alone I gained the opportunity learn how to work through the tough moments.  I grew stronger and more confidante in myself.  

I remember one time in the middle of the night I woke up screaming.  I had heard someone enter my apartment and it felt like they were standing over me.  I turned on the lights, and luckily it being a studio apartment I was able to see everything.  It was just a nightmare, there was no one there.  But that nightmare rattled me and I couldn't fall back asleep.  I had wished that someone was there to get my mind off of it.  But it was just me.  

There were other time when I was so grateful to know that the only way that my door was going to open was if I opened it.  No one else had the key.  No one else was expected to come home.  It was just me.  When I walked in the door everything would be where i left it.  The only mess to clean up was my own.  

On a daily bases I reminded myself to be grateful.  Because once I found someone and possibly started a family I would not have my own space to come home to.  I wouldn't be able to just leave and not tell someone where I was going.  I wouldn't be able to leave my paint all over the kitchen counter.  I wouldn't be able to do whatever it was my heart was calling me to do at any given moment.  There would be other people I would have to check in with first.  

For years I was searching for someone to make me whole.  Thinking if I found the right boyfriend I would be finally be happy.  But in living alone I learned that I was the one I was waiting for this entire time.  No one was going to make me happy except myself.  It isn't anyone else's job except my own.  I had to figure out what light me up.  I had to unearth what made me smile from ear to ear.  I had to put in the time to figure it all out.  No one would ever do that for me and I couldn't expect someone to. 

Once I realized this everything shifted in me.  I didn't worry about dating or finding the right guy.  I dug in deep on a self exploration journey to find out what really made me happy.  I dipped my toe into a lot of things that weren't me.  I became an explorer and tried a lot of things on for size. 

What I ended up learning is that who I am and what makes me happy was there all along, I just had to recognize it.  

I am a writer.  It is words that bring me joy.  I am in love with reading and writing.  I didn't ever see myself as a writer but slowly I began to give myself credit for it and embrace that this is who I am.

Living alone was a gift.  An invaluable gift that I will forever cherish.  I loved my studio apartment and how safe I felt there.  I savor all of the memories that I made.  The struggles, the hardship, the laughter, the loneliness, the creative energy, the conversations, the kisses, the unknowing.  All of it is deeply engrained in me.  I am a better person for having lived alone.