let it snow

Dustin loves the winter and get's excited for big snow storms.  It is his favorite time of year.  With his birthday happening mid November I wanted to do something to surprise him.  What better surprise than to bring the outside in and make it snow indoors.  

With the help of my Mom and Aunt we had lots of fun with paper cutting up snowflakes, gingerbread men, and paper chains.  We were on a covert secret mission.  The night was filled with so much laughter and reminded me that it truly is the little things in life that bring so much joy.  

The plan was to hang everything up while he was at work on Tuesday night and get to experience the surprised look on his face as he walked through the door.  But as luck would have it he unexpectedly had off that night so plan B went into affect.  

On the day morning of his birthday I set my alarm extra early in order to allow time to hang up every last flake before I had to leave for work. I tiptoed around the apartment that morning keeping my fingers crossed that he wouldn't wake up as I worked my elf magic.  I crafted a snowman on the door, strung lights, made the snow fall, and hung an advent calendar on the door. 

I light a candle that smells just like christmas to fill the air with the wondrous scent.  The time flew fast and before I knew it I had to jump into the shower.  I didn't get a chance to do everything I wanted but I was able to light the netflix fireplace, hang the stockings with care, create a tree out of lights on the wall, and write a note from the secret decorating elf.  

It was such a thrill to know that he was going to be surprised.  I was giddy with excitement as I kissed him goodbye and I couldn't wait for him to wake up to the indoor snowstorm.  

While at work I received this awesome text: "It's SNOWING!"

Yes, yes it is snowing.  Each flake filled with love.  Each light strung a reminder of the goodness that we have with one another.  This winter wonderland creation made just for him.  It was so much fun to work on and even more fun to surprise him.  

gathering with kindreds

Gathering with Kindreds is an integral part of my self care.  These gatherings ground me and ignite the spark that fuels the creative fire in my soul.  When Jen Lee offered up the opportunity to meet with other local creatives in the area at The Park in NYC I couldn't say no.  However, I knew when the day came I would have to push myself to get into the city.  

The city is not far from me, but it is a journey to get there.  Traffic is unpredictable, finding parking can be a hassle, and I always end up getting extremely lost.  The morning before the gathering I tried coming up with a million excuses not to go, but I knew in my heart it was the best thing for me.  

Interacting with strangers can be difficult for me.  I am reserved until I develop a connection with someone and then my heart spills wide open.  However it takes time for me to get to that point.  I don't have it in me to immediately begin sharing what I am working on and what my dreams are for the future.  Slowly I peel away the layers revealing the truth in my stories.

Gathering around the table with like minded souls reminded me how important it is to share our stories.  To open up and let others see what really matters to us.  It is our stories that connect us and we will not know the thread that weaves us together until we open up.  

There were two other women that I was talking to and we each revealed our love stories. It was fascinating to me how they each met there respective others and I loved getting a glimpse into an intimate part of their lives.  Everyone has a unique story but in the end we are all looking for the same thing.  We want to share our voice with the world and we want to be loved and respected.  

Everyone at that table had a different background, different passions, and did something different for work.  However we were all drawn there because we understand the importance of community.  You cannot survive in this world alone.  You need to gather with others, share your ideas, and swap stories.  These are the connections that fuel us.  They take us further than we thought we could go and remind us that we are not alone.  

These gatherings do not have to be grand and opulent.  It can be a quant meeting at a coffee shop gathered with a few like minded souls.  A half outs time spent connecting will give you more energy to go out and chase your dreams than you could ever image.  

You can create these gatherings wherever you are.  All it takes is courage and action!  Courage to say yes and invite others in and action in actually going forward with it.  Start small with one or two people and see where it leads you.  You never know what could happen when you open the door to opportunity.  Go ahead and ignite the spark by opening the door and inviting others in.  

finding your way

What I really want to tell you is there was a moment in time when I didn't think I would make it to this day.  I felt invisible to the world, fearful even of being forgotten.  I fell deep into a dark place.  Navigating my own path seemed impossible.

Yet here I stand today in full bloom.  Lifting my head up to the sun and reaching for my dreams.  Grateful for choosing to push through, even when I wasn't sure how.  It wasn't always easy but with each step I found myself a little bit more.  

Know that your travels through this life may not always be easy. There will be times of darkness and you will be tested.  The sun may not be shining today, but there will come a day when it will shine again.  Be grateful for the moment, even if it may seem bleak.  

You will rise above.  Light will shine on your path helping to guide you home.  You will be more courageous than you thought you ever could be.  Happiness will be infused through you.  For this is your life, yes your life.  

surviving post marathon

In the end of March this year I decided that I was going to run the NYC Marathon.  That was seven months ago.  Seven months of life changing dedication to one single thing.  My habits changed.  My conversations with others shifted.  Everything was focused around the marathon.  There was many times I had to say no to things I really wanted to say yes to simply because I had to run.  

As I type these words I am on the other side of that accomplishment.  The training has been done.  The race has been complete.  Where do I go from here?  How do I adjust to life that does not include hours and hours of marathon training?  What do I do with myself now?  

Having one lofty goal to concentrate on narrowed my focused.  It made me see that I can push myself towards one thing and make it happen.  Usually my mind is all over the place, jumping from one thing to the next.  Training made me hone in and stay on track.  It also made me realize how much stronger I am than I ever thought I was mentally.  

However, all of that is gone now.  I still desire to run but when I struggle up that hill I am no longer thinking; "you have to push yourself in order to prepare for the marathon."  Now it just another run.  The roads that I trained on are now just roads again. Before they were a glimmer of hope, a challenge. 

What is the next hill I want to climb?  What is the next journey that I want to take.  I know that I will never be complacent in this world.  I constantly must be pushing myself forward. Seeking out new challenges and discovering new things that bring joy to my life.  I never thought running would be a place of joy, but it has become that.  

Life after a marathon isn't easy.  I took a bath with epsom salts the day after to help heal my legs, but how do I heal this yearning in my heart that is sad that it is over?  I know that I must remember the way I felt.  The accomplishment.  The joy.  The pride.  Hold onto all of those feelings and bring them with me on my next challenge.  Because the roads of training aren't always filled those types of feelings.  

Today I am stepping into new territory.  Navigating a braver me.  Stronger. Ready to take on anything that comes my way.  

sit with me

Come sit with me
Tell me what is right below the surface
Share your inner desires
What is moving you
What lights you up
Share your heart, your soul
Share all of you
I will hold your hand
Listen deeply to your stories
Tell me where you came from
And where you wish to go
Tell me anything and everything
Together we will laugh and cry
We will reminisce
Make plans for the future
You aren't meant to live in this world alone
So come and sit beside me
Together we will be

reaching for your dreams

Today in my brave journaling class we are exploring our dreams.  The ones that don't let us fall asleep at night because we are too excited about them.  The ones we keep quietly tucked away because we fear if we speak them out loud they may not come true.  The dreams we dream about time and time again.  

Yes, we all have dreams, wishes, aspirations for our lives.  They surface at the strangest of moments and once they latch on they don't want to let go.  There is that little voice inside of you that speaks louder than all the other voices you hear and it is nudging you to follow your dreams.  

How do you follow your dreams?  
How do you go after what your heart is calling you to do?  
What do you do if your dream feels completely impossible?  

There are times when we are clutching so tightly an idea of something happening the exact way that we have it planned in our head that we lose site of the feelings that are fueling this idea.  We think if the idea doesn't unfold like we planned then it wasn't right, or there has to be more. But there will be times, many times when an idea will not go the way you thought.  Sometimes we have to let go of our plans in order to allow space for the puzzle pieces to come together.  

This doesn't mean letting go of the dream entirely, but it means honing in on the feelings that the dreams stirs up and allowing space for that to unfold exactly how it is meant to unfold.  Sometimes the way we think it is suppose to be isn't the way it is meant to be.  Loosen your grip and let go of the reigns.  

Once you free yourself of your exceptions you will begin to see different things you never saw before.  You will be more open to opportunity and you just never know what may appear at your doorstep.  It can be hard to let go of expectations, but it may be the most freeing thing you have ever done.  

What expectations can you let go of today?  
What dream do you have can you get of the way of letting it come true?