charting the unknown waters

Lately I have been swimming in this sea of uncharted waters.  There are moments when I feel as if I am drowning.  It is like I have forgotten how to swim and need to re-learn each of the strokes.  The shore feels incredibly far away and I don't know if I will ever reach it.

The steady crash of the waves has me feeling disoriented as the tide pulls me further out to sea.  I am trying to find the strength within me to stay afloat but I am defeated.  This beautiful ocean is an incredible life force.  

All I can do is surrender.  

I feel as if I am waiting for my real life to begin.  The life I dream of.  The one that I scribble about between the pages of my journal.  The life that my heart deeply desires.  I crave this life and deep in my soul know it is the one I am meant to be living.  

Yet here I am in the middle of the ocean, losing site of the horizon.  Fearful of swimming to shore because it is a big and bold move forward.  In order to swim I need to believe in myself.  I need to know that I am deserving of my dreams.  That my voice is meant to be heard.  That there is room enough in this world for what I want to offer.  

I can see it.  I can feel it.  I know that it is the right direction for me.  I just need to be brave enough to leap.  I need invest in myself fully.  Ditch the "what if it doesn't work out" thoughts and simply see what is possible.  

I must to take the chance.  

Now more than ever I need to show up for myself.  I do not know how many days I have left on this earth.  Life can be taken in the blink of any eye.  One day we are going about our daily business and the next day we could be gone.  And we never know when that day will be.  If I continue to delay going after my dreams I may run out of time.  

I don't want to run out of time.  I must begin.  

I know I have said it before time and time again, but this moment feels different.  This ocean I am swimming in is terrifying and it is forcing me to be brave.  I will re-learn how to swim. I will find my way to a new shore and I won't give up even if it takes awhile to get there.  Because what I dream of is my destiny and only I can create it.  

And so I begin swimming

love notes is back with special guest Mindy Tsonas

The Love Notes Postcard Project is back and I am thrilled to announce that we have a very special guest!  Mindy Tsonas with Embody Love Movement will be providing the weekly writing prompts.  I received a peak and they are so good.  I can't wait to share them with you!  We begin July 9th, sign up today!

Embody Love Movement is a global non-profit organization founded by Dr. Melody Moore, created to empower girls and women to celebrate their unique inner beauty and push back against harmful media standards, commit to kindness and contribute to meaningful change in the world!  ELM offers in-person workshops, events, and online experiences and education, dedicated to helping each of us discover our real beauty within.  

I feel that this is the perfect collaboration because Love Notes is all about spreading kindness and lifting up each others spirits.  We do this through handwritten notes in the mail.  You never know the true effect that your words will have on the recipient but I can guarantee they most definitely make them smile.    

Mindy Tsonas is the creator of Studiofemme, an Embodied Artist, and certified Embody Love Facilitator.  She helps to guide women into the extraordinary Wonderland of themselves.  Through juicy creative pursuits and honest explorations, her calling is to inspire others to shake loose and get naked in empowered, exquisite truth, to name and claim all aspects of who they are, and un-shame every desire.  She is also an avid Love Notes participant.  

What is Love Notes?

Love Notes is a free three week project where individuals are paired up with one another to exchange hand written postcards.  Don't worry if you do not have postcards, note cards are fine.  Some people even create their own.  There are no hard and fast rules as long as it is a little something you can send through the mail.   

Worried about what you are going to write?  I got you covered!  Each Sunday a writing prompt will go out to provide you with a jumping off point for what to write on your postcard.  As I said above Mindy's prompts are divine and I just know you are going to love them!  

This is the 20th installment of this project and I could not be more excited to begin.  Friendships have formed and mail continues to be exchanged long after each round is finished due to the extraordinary individuals who participate in the project.  

Looking to learn more?  Click here or pop on over to the Facebook Group.  Have a question?  Drop me a note at jennifer@jenniferbelthoff.com.  

This round is going to be so good!  

showing up for yourself

Next week I kept saying to myself over and over again.  Next week I will begin.  Next week I will get back into the groove.  Yet that time came and went and I continued down the very same path I was traveling.  The one I no longer wanted to be on.  

Next week I said again, next week.  

And here we are in that moment of time and I am pushing myself to step forward.  To choose movement, gratitude, journaling, meditation, nourishing my soul, and showing up with love. Because there is no reason to wait a second longer.  It is time to be in the present moment, today.  

I know that I all my grand plans won't work out the way I dream they will.  There will be slip ups and moments where I veer off course.  But even if some things slip through the cracks that does not mean that all is lost.  I must simply pick up from where I am and keep stepping forward.  

Life is a beautiful ebb and flow.  

There is no such thing as perfection.  Only an opportunity to be right where I am.  And so I begin right here.  Carving time out for myself.  Making my desires and needs a priority.  Accepting the messiness that comes along with it and savoring every moment. 

How about you?  How are you showing up for yourself?  

one foot in front of the other

Stand tall in who you are
In all your glory and all your downfalls
Know that you do not always have to get it right
Sometimes you will stumble
Veer off course
Go the wrong way
You might even reach a dead end
It's ok
Life isn't perfect
It never is, and never will be
There will be ups, and downs
Along the way you will learn how to navigate your own course
With each step you take
Each moment you encounter
Hold onto laughter
For it is laughter that truly is the best medicine
In the hard times when it is difficult to come by you will need it most
Do not push it away
Embrace it and allow your body to feel it's joy
Because even in moments of deep dark sadness it is ok to laugh
So put your shoulders back
Hold your head up high
Know that your mistakes do not define you
You are beautiful just the way you are
Continue putting one foot in front of the other
As you create the most epic life that you want to live

the story keepers

We were talking about how I used to suck my thumb when I was younger {not sure why, but we were}.  "I did it for a really long time" I said.  "How long" he asked?   And I didn't know the answer.  I just always remember my mom telling me that it was a long time.  Longer than I ever should have been.  

Moms are the keeper of the stories.  

They know how old you were when you learned to ride a bike.  They know where they were standing when you were running up the stairs and knocked your two front teeth straight out.  They have all the details of the time you and your brothers rearranged every christmas ornament on the tree and when you were the accomplice when she moved your dads car at the park-n-ride.   

Moms know the stories behind the victories and the scars.

They remember the day she dropped you off at college and how she cried in the car on the way home because you were growing up so fast.  She was there the night your prom date picked you up.  She helped you get your car fixed when you had a fender bender in the parking lot, and cheered you on at every track and cross country meet.  

Recently I was trying to find out my exact birth time and no one in my family knew what it was.  It was then when I realized that so many of my childhood stories live with my mom.  She knew all the details and helped us all sort through the scattered memories we had.  

She used to joke about how I put out every pair of shoes for the Easter Bunny when I was younger.  We were only supposed to leave out one pair and the bunny would drop in a piece of candy, but I pulled them all out and lined them up neatly.  I am not even sure where this tradition came from but I do know if my mom was here today she would have the answer.  She would also know the exact time I was born and be able to tell me story of how it all happened.  I know it involved them being at a halloween party the night before and her waking up with clown make up still on, but that is all I know. Little bits and pieces of memories from when I was small.

The moments you live become embedded on your moms heart forever.  You are an extension of her and she remembers every tear, every smile, every heartbreak.  It is etched onto her heart forever and wherever she goes she carries it with her.  

Today is the two year anniversary of my mom's passing and I am trying to hold onto all the memories.  Laughing as our message in a bottle floated back to us again and again because we couldn't throw it out far enough.  Sitting on the beach chatting.  Arts & craft nights.  That one time she came to visit me and everything changed.  Her thoughtful gifts and home made seashell decorations.  Our trip to Brooklyn.  How proud she was cheering me on for the marathon.  There are so many memories and I do not want to let them fade.  

Catch all the memories you can if you still have the chance.  Ask to hear the stories over and over so they are forever etched onto your heart.  Listen deeply and jot them down.  And if you don't have the chance to hear them again replay the ones you have and hold them close.  

Life flashes by in the blink of an eye, but it is you memories that remind you of what made you who you are.  Hold onto these memories and savor them deeply.  

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory" ~ unknown

day dream believer

At my third grade parent teacher conference Mr Carestia told my mom that I was a good student  However he could see in class when I drifted off and entered the world of day dreaming.  A glazed look coming across my face, and that was it.  I was checked out.

I have always been a dreamer

I believe that we must dream.  For it is the first step to making anything come true.  Setting the intention and planting the seed.  If we don't think about what it is we want we never know exactly what we desire and therefore can never obtain it.  

My dreams are charted out through vision boards, journal entries, pinterest searches, and moments of quiet when I allow myself space to sit and think. I imagine what it is I truly want, how I will feel when I get it, and who I want to be by my side along the way.

Yet dreaming can only take you so far.  You must be willing to do the work in order to see your dreams come true.  You have to take the steps, follow your hearts desires, and show up.  Yes, your hands will get dirty.  Your heart will break.  You will veer off course.  You will feel like you will never make it.  

There is even a chance your dream won't come true, but you never know until you try.  

You can't expect someone to show up at your door with our dream on a silver platter.  Life just doesn't work that way.  It requires you to take the time and energy needed to make something happen.  It means pushing yourself past your comfort zone and being ok with whatever the outcome, especially when it's not the one you were expecting.  

Lately the dream of writing a book has been nudging me again.  I started a few years back but never made it happen.  But just because I couldn't do it then, does't mean that I can't do it now.  One thing I know for certain is that books don't appear out of thin air.  A lot of hard work and dedication goes into them.  I must show up to the page and grant the words permission to spill out.  I must be dedicated and encourage myself to write, even when I don't feel like it.  Beauty emerges when we push ourselves past our edges.  

What dream is living in your heart?  What one step can you take today to bring yourself a little bit closer to it?  

Show up and say yes to your dream

Choose to carve out the dream that you desire.  Put in the hard work and reap all of it's rewards.  Do not be afraid of failure but rather be afraid of how you will feel if you never give it a try.