NYC marathon doubt

On my past few runs I have ventured off without my watch.  I would love to say that I choose to do it to see if I could trust my intuition, but in reality the battery was dead and I did not have the time to wait for it to charge.  So off I went.  

I do not look at my watch that often when I run, but I enjoy checking in with it to see where I am.  Sometimes it is frustrating because I feel great and the watch says I am running slower than I think.  Other times it is the flip side and I am feeling terrible and the watch says I am doing awesome.  I find it comforting on my long runs because it keeps me in check in the beginning and not running off to fast when I am in it for the long haul.  

As the marathon inches closer I am doubting the technology that I have been using.  Has it been telling me the correct miles?  Has it been measuring my pace accurately?  Am I really ready to take on this enormous adventure?    

Excitement is filling me up yet at the same time bits of self doubt are creeping in.  26.2 miles!  A feat I have never attempted before.  Hours and hours of training have gone into this, but will that be enough?  

I need to step back and realize that I have done all that I can.  I have shown up time and time again, even on days when I didn't want to.  I am ready.  I have prepared.  I will make it.  

Sometimes it can be hard for us to believe in ourselves.  We let those self doubt demons fill our head with their chatter.  But I know that as I step up to the starting line that I have given it all I got.  And as I pass my family and friends; hearing there cheers and seeing there smiles I will be infused with encouragement and gratitude to keep on going. 

One foot in front of the other.  Step by step I will get there.  Just as I have gotten here today.  I will make it across that finish line.  

20 things you should begin, right now

1.  Smile.  That's right, lets start with a smile

2.  Drink more water

3.  Let go of fear

4.  Find time to play

5.  Give your partner, your kids, your parents a hug . . . right now

6.   Make a wish

7.  Write down three of your dreams and tuck them away

8.  Tell someone a joke

9.  Take three deep breathes and give thanks for where you are and how far you have come

10.  Get more sleep

11.  Feed your body foods that nourish your soul

12.  Write a love letter . . . to yourself

13.  Step outside and breathe in the fresh air . . . every single day

14.  Go for a walk . . . even if it is only around the block

15.  Laugh deep belly laughs

16.  Say hello to strangers

17.  Trust yourself

18.  Forgive  . . .  yourself and others

19.  Say "I love you"

20.  Slow down and be gentle with yourself

tending to your heart

Moving through each day on autopilot
Gliding gently across the surface
Cleaning the dishes, making the bed, folding the laundry
Completing each task, and starting another one

What would happen if we put those thing on hold
Not forever, but for a moment in time
Instead of checking something off our list
What would happen if we fed our souls
If we did something that really moved us

Would the world come to a screeching halt?
Would your house crumble because there are dishes in the sink?
Would our spirits life while inspiration infused our soul

Ideas blooming from deep within
Small moments in time can have a big impact on our mind
Five minutes of dreaming can open up the door of possibility
Doing one small thing can bring a smile to your face
Filling you up from deep within

Let yourself go
Pick up a paintbrush, take out your notebook and pen
Turn on a song and dance
Soak in a hot bath and dream
Give yourself the gift of self love

What small thing can you do that will lift you up?
What speaks directly to your heart?

Tending to your heart will have a trickle affect
When you are fully fueled you will feel lighter, happier, kinder
This will lead you onto brighter pathways
Go ahead and dive into love, you can do it

mighty meditation

A couple of months ago I rolled up my yoga mat, put on my workout clothes, and drove to the gym to give a Yin Yoga class a try.  I had no idea what Yin Yoga was  and I was extremely nervous.  This was the first class I was taking at my new gym.  

:: Do I bring my yoga mat?  I saw they had mats when they gave us a tour, but what if you have to rent those?  Should I bring money?  How many people do you think will be in the class?  Will I look like a fool because I have no idea what I am doing?  ::

Those were just a few of the thoughts that were swirling through my head as I drove to class.  I gave myself plenty of time so I didn't have to rush.  As I sat in the car in the parking lot nerves were fluttering through my body.  I knew that I had three choices.  

1. Drive away and pretend this didn't happen.  I didn't really need to take the class.
2. Distract myself with my phone until it was time to go in.  
3. Use these few minutes to sit with the feelings and be fully present to what was coming up.  

I choose option three.  I turned off the music in my car and set my phone aside.  I allowed myself to be fully present with my fear.  It is perfectly normal to feel fear when we are doing something new.  What is the worst thing that could happen I thought.  I look like a fool?  I bring my yoga mat and I didn't have to?  The world wasn't going to end.  There was not going to be any tragedy.  No matter what happened it was going to all be ok.  

Giving myself those moments to sit quietly helped me soothe my worries.  As I walked into the gym I felt confidant and sure of myself.  As the women at the front desk scanned my card and said "enjoy your yoga class" I knew I made the right choice to stay.  

The Yin Yoga class began with 20 minutes of meditation.  I had never done meditation before and it wasn't easy to sit that long.  Thank goodness she did not tell us when we started how long we were going to be meditating.  If I had known I would have turned around and choose option 1 {leave the premises, I didn't really need to take this class anyway}.

After class my mind felt free, awake, rejuvenated.  I was happy that I walked through those doors and took that class.  I had never meditated before and now I was hooked.  There was something so serene about sitting still.  I had an inner peace about me that I did not have when I walked into class. 

I have gone back to that Monday class every chance I get.  I have also said to myself time and time again that I wanted to begin a meditation practice at home.  Finally last week I began.  I didn't plan to begin but I noticed that I had some time before I had to leave from work.  I remembered the meditation app Headspace that I downloaded weeks ago and never gave a try.  That day was as good a day as any to begin, and so I did.  

Dressed for work I grabbed a pillow from the couch, sat on it on the floor and began.  The 10 mins of meditation flew by and I felt AMAZING walking out the door. That was it, I was hooked.  Morning meditation before work needed to become a daily practice in my life. 

The next morning I stayed in my pi's, turned on the twinkle lights, lit a candle with intention, and drew a card from my inner alchemy deck. Ten minutes of meditation was the perfect way to begin.  It set the tone for the entire day.  

Here I am almost one full week into my morning meditation practice.  I have began documenting it on Instagram with the hashtag #mightymeditation to help keep myself accountable.  Doing morning meditation makes me feel mighty and ready to take on the day.  It opens up my heart and my mind and clears space for the new goodness that the day will bring.  

I encourage you to give meditation a try.  If you have never done it before sit quietly with your eyes closed for just five minutes.  Let go of any expectations you have and just sit still.  There is so much that we can learn from stillness.  

“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.”

— Jeremy Taylor

brave journaling

For as long as I can remember I was a journaler.  Journaling saved my life.  It provided me a space to go where I could completely and utterly be myself.  I could show up with tears streaming down my face and the page would catch the sadness.  It also provided me space to dream and grow.  

Journaling is one of my daily self care practices.  No matter how good or bad a day is I will turn to my journal to release what was.  The pages catch my stories, provide an opportunity to work through the feelings, and help me find my way.  Without journaling I would be lost.  

There have been many times that I have shown up to the blank page thinking I would be writing about something but my heart and my hand take me a different way.  Writing unlocks those stories we need to tell and helps us muddle through those emotions we need to release.  

I invite you to join me for 21 days of brave journaling.  Where together we will show up to the page and let the stories spill.  A blank page can be intimidating, I know.  Which is why I will be providing prompts to get you going, inspiration to light the spark, and a whole lot of cheering and motivation to keep you going.  The exercises will stretch you and take you a journey you may not have known you needed to go on.  

When will this be happening:  November 1st - November 21st

How will I receive the content: Directly in your email box.  This will make it simple and quick for you to access the information and allow you the opportunity to go back to any prompt at any time.  

When will this be happening:  November 1st - November 21st

What does this cost:  $42 {that is only $2 a day, less the cost of a chai tea latte}

Can I give this as a gift:  Of course!  Upon check out ensure to select the total number that you would like to purchase.  Then email me the full name(s) and email address

Do you have questions:  Well I am here to help.  Just drop me a note at jbelthoff@gmail.com

Together let's jump into the water, because if you never jump you never learn how to swim.  

without saying a word :: writing prompt

Without saying a word we knew it was time to say goodbye
For so long you held on
Standing there besides you tears fell  
We did not know what to say to you or each other
We stood side by side and let you know it was ok to go

Without saying a word we knew that we were all traveling through our memories
Visions of handmade birdhouses and fixed up bicycles
Asking for directions on the way to FDU
The enormity of your car door
The sound of Frank Sinatra coming from the breezeway

Without saying a word we held each other up
Gratitude poured from our hearts for all you had taught us
There was so much love and laughter
Taps on the arm, corny jokes told
Paddle board games at the swim club

Without saying a word we gathered the day you left
Miles away from you
But together with each other 
It felt as if you were waiting for that moment
You did not want anyone to be alone when you took your final breathe

Without saying a word we gave thanks for the life you lived and the love you shared with us

It is amazing what words pour out when we begin writing from a simple prompt.  Today I sat down with the following:

without saying a word . . . 

And what spilled out was memories of the final days spent with my grandfather.  When I first typed the prompt I did not expect what followed.  That is the beauty of writing.  We never know where it will lead us.  

Tears fell from my eyes as I wrote the above words.  I was transported back to those moments.  The smell of the hospital room.  The way my brother put his arm around me as we walked to the elevator.  Going out to lunch in Vermont with my grandmother after hearing news of my grandfathers passing.  It was in those moments that I was reminded of the bond that glues a family together.  There was so much love and tenderness. 

What spills out for you when you begin with the words: without saying a word . . .

I would love to hear.  Please share your words in the comments or you can send an email to  jbelthoff@gmail.com