heres to the fans

the photo for this post has been updated.  showing the fans that supported me at the NYC Marathon and how happy I was to have them there.  Each one helped me through this race.  Even the people I didn't even know, but were cheering. &…

the photo for this post has been updated.  showing the fans that supported me at the NYC Marathon and how happy I was to have them there.  Each one helped me through this race.  Even the people I didn't even know, but were cheering.  

Heres to the fans
To the ones who stand on the sidelines cheering everyone on
You have no idea how much you mean to the runner
You have no idea how much you lift them up
And help carry them along

Your cheers
Your words
Your smiles and high fives
They take that runner further than they thought they could go
You help them keep going

Heres to the fans
The ones who wait
The ones who stay
The ones who scream as loud as they can
To people they do not even know

You make a difference
You matter
You are heard
You stick with that runner as they struggle up that hill
They play your cheers
Over and over in their head

Heres to the fans
The ones who show up in the cold and the heat
The ones who make signs
Ring bells
And lose their voices
From cheering

You bring hope
You bring smiles
You bring an energy 
That would be missing without you
You are as much a part of this race
As the runner is

Thank you for showing up
Thank you for cheering
Thank you for taking the time to be there
Without you a runner would be running silently
You bring emotion
You bring life

Heres to the fans!!

never giving up

It wasn't any easy thing to do
But I gave up
I threw in the towel, laid down my pride
And just stopped
I didn't have it in me
Even though I thought I did
Even though I wanted to, so badly
It wasn't there
I wasn't ready
It was not meant to happen today

Disappointment washed over me
Sadness filled my heart
If I can't do this, I thought
How will I ever make it to the end
There are good days and bad days
Moments I feel like a superstar
And others where I think I am a wimp
Today was a wimpy kind of day
Intentions set high
But immobility took its hold

It may look like it
But I didn't really give up
I listened to the words spoken by my body
I didn't allow my ego to get in the way
I paid attention 
And did what I needed to do
I slowed down and found my home
I celebrated showing up
And took note of what I learned
Remembering that this is all part of the journey

There will be roadblocks
Moments where I stumble and fall
Times when I do not make it to my fnal destination
But along the way I am growing stronger
Navigating my path
Giving in to what I need
This is ok 
I am a warrior of my own destiny
Faltering along the way
But never giving up

100 day count down

In 100 days I will be stepping up to the starting line
Beginning a whole new journey
Navigating all new terrain
And step by step making it 26.2 miles
It all feels so surreal
Yet it is happening
Each day I am preparing, showing up, and putting in the time
I am pushing myself when I don't want to take another step
Going out the door when all I want to do is curl up the couch
Mile after mile I am moving, going, never giving up
Hopefully all of this hard work will pay off on this fatal day in November
I pray that my body will be strong, my ready, and excitement taking me through the tough times
I have 100 more days to prepare
And then the ultimate test
I am excited for this adventure, looking forward to that starting line
And also filled with butterflies for the unknown
Today the count down begins!

stepping up to the challenge

A year ago I stepped up to the starting line and ran the Verizon Corporate Challenge.  It was a balmy 90 degrees with 100% humidity.  I had been running infrequently and signed up for the race because of the coaxing talk of my co-workers.  

Some would consider the course hilly, and a year ago that is exactly how I felt.  Before you make the final turn and get a glimpse of the finish line there is a hill you have to climb.  Last year I struggled up that hill.  My body did not want to move, my lungs were tired, and from the side of the road I heard "use your arms".  I am not even sure who shouted those words and they most likely weren't even talking to me, but that phrase has stuck with me.  Each time I am climbing a hill I repeat in my head "use your arms".  It has become my hill climbing mantra.  

Stepping up to the starting line this year I am a completely different runner.  I have logged mile after mile and climbed hills that I never thought I would make it to the top of.  I am not just a causal runner like I was last year.  I could no longer joke about just wanting to finish without passing out.  I am a runner.  A runner who is training for the NYC Marathon.  

As I made my way through the course this year my body felt strong.  My mind did not once say "I want to stop, I want to stop" as it used to do.  I was prepared mentally and physically.  Those hills that pushed me to the limits and challenged me last year were a walk in the park.  On the last hill where I received the wise words of "use your arms" I started laughing out loud. . . . this was the hill that was a killer, really?  

It is so good to feel the results of all the hard work I have been putting in.  To have a place to compare back to and be able to measure what I have overcome.  I have grown leaps and bounds simply from steadily showing up.  When things were hard and I wanted to quit I kept going.  When I didn't want to run and my mind kept telling me to stay home instead, I laced up my sneakers and went out the door.  It wasn't always easy, but I always showed up.  Even in the rain, the cold, and the sweltering heart you would find me out there pounding the pavement as I racked up my miles.  

I have learned that so much can be accomplished when we put our minds to it.  When we stick to our guns and show up day after day after day.  It isn't always going to be pretty.  There will be days and moments when it totally sucks!  But if we stick to it progress is made.  We begin to feel stronger.  And soon running three miles is a walk in the park and we are aiming to push past 14.  It is amazing what we are capable of.  

What big dream do you want to accomplish? Go ahead .... say yes to it and show up.  It will begin to unfold and you will be amazed.  

your eyes

It was your eyes that first moved me
How they didn't turn away 
Looking deep into my soul 
Seeing what I wasn't yet ready to say

Your gaze deepened
As we made small talk
People passed
Yet I only saw you

Each time we move by one another there is a pause
For a brief moment
To say hello
Not with words, but with our gaze

There is something intense about not speaking
Yet knowing exactly what the other is saying
Its a feeling, a spark
A moment in time

It was your eyes that first moved me
I am still transfixed on them
As we navigate this uneven terrain
Your eyes inviting me in to stay just a little bit longer