virtual tour

My sweet friend Michelle asked me to participate in a little virtual stroll.  I was delighted with the opportunity to slow down, reflect, and sit on the virtual porch of so many.  You can see Michelle's response to the same questions here, and at the bottom of the post you will links to three other dear friends of mine who will be posting there responses next Monday.  

So grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine . . . settle in . . . and let's begin

1.  What am I working on?

Each year I choose a word to focus on throughout the year.  One word to tuck in my pocket, dream about, and see what unfolds.  This year I choose 'BUILD'.  Upon choosing this word I had no idea what would unfold, as so often happens when you choose a word for the year.   You think it will become one thing, and then a whole new world opens up to you.  

There is so much being built this year.  

Dustin and I are building a house.  A home to grow into, a place to create memories, and a safe haven to strengthen our relationship.  It is a big undertaking and each day we are working on it.  Plans and dreams shaping into a  home.  

I am also building my physical strength as I train for the 2014 NYC Marathon.  I have dreamed of running a marathon, but never thought I would actually do it.  For some reason this year I said YES!  I want to be in the best physical shape I have ever been in this year, and I really want toned arms.  :)  Training for the marathon takes a lot of time, and a lot of dedication.  It is an excited adventure.  

Another dream I am building this year is writing the book that has been living in my heart.  The one that I cannot say no to anymore.  The one that wakes me in the middle of then night, and floods me with thoughts when I first wake up.  I have always wanted to write a book, and this year I have began actually doing it.  

Inside there is a deeper desire to build more.  As if building a house, running a marathon, and writing a book weren't enough to tackle in a year.  I am craving and yearning for community.  I want to connect on a deeper level with women.  Have the conversations we all want to have.  Create a safe space to dream, play, and ignite the spark that is deep within us.  I want to cultivate that community.  Plant the seeds and watch them grow.  This idea has been swirling in my mind for a while, and I have yet figured out how to make it work.  But the ideas keep coming, and I keep catching them.  I know one day they will all come together.  

2.  How does my work differ from others of its genre?

What I love about art and creativity is that even when we are practicing the same medium the outcome is totally different dependent upon our experiences.  

I attended a painting class with my mom where the instructor took us step by step to paint what she had on her canvas.  There were about 30 individuals in that class and at the end of the night we all had some rendition of what the teacher had, but no two were exactly a like.  Everyone was drawn to something different. Some added more sparkle to the sky.  Some made there lights tiny, while others were big and bold.  Everyone put there own spin on it.  

The same goes with writing.  I could provide you all with the same writing prompt and no two stories will be the same.  We write what is in our heart, based off of what we have gone through.  Different things have hung around inside of us and the page is just waiting to catch these feelings.

When I show up on the page my heart spills open.  The words come out.  The blank page allows me the space to process the feelings, even the messy ones.  I try to stay as open as I can.  I am not fearful of the page.  I am grateful for its existence, and for the way it never judges.  It just sits there and takes it, whatever it is that I spill out.  

When I teach in person or online my demeanor is calming, and nurturing.  I am not one to stand it the center of the room belting out a song or seeking out attention.  Instead I am quietly observing.  Soaking it all in.  When I speak there is thought behind the words.   I like to cultivate a space of trust so my students feel comfortable and confidante to open there hearts.  

3.  Why do I write / create what I do?

Ever since I was a little girl I was scribbling away in my journal, then safely tucking it under my bed so that my brothers wouldn't find it.  It was my safe haven.  The one place I could always show up to, and never be judged.  It has become ingrained in me.  It is how I process.  It is how I breathe.  I write because I know no other way.  Writing is like breathing to me.  It comes naturally and has to be done, each and every day.  

They say we teach what we most need to learn.  I feel we gravitate towards what our souls most desire, and when we cannot find it we create it for ourselves.  That is how the Love Notes PostCard Project was born.  My love for written mail, combined with my collection of postcards, and deep desire to have people share more words from their heart emerged the idea for strangers to write to one another.  And before long, some of these strangers became friends.  There is something so intimate about sitting down to a piece of paper and writing to someone.  Your heart spills onto the page with each word.  And when you send that little nugget of your heart out into the world to travel through the postal system it ignites smiles with each hand it passes through and brings a beautiful surprise to the one receiving it.  I needed that piece of inspiration to arrive in own mailbox, and so I rallied for others to join in, and they have.  

There is a human part in all of us that wants to be seen.  That needs to be heard.  That desires love and encouragement from others.  My work is about putting it all out on the line.  Showing up as YOU, exactly as you are - - - heart torn open, wing broken, smile falling slowing into a friend - - - and being ok with where you are.  We never stay in one place for to long, we are always off on the next adventure and we learn from the hard times.  We carry the wisdom with us, and we find our own sunshine and happiness along the way.  

4.  How does your writing / creating process work?

I don't really have an actual process for my work.  My best ideas come to when I am at my 9 - 5, and should be concentrating on other things.  I never feel I have enough time to do what I want to do.  Ideas are amazing in my head, and a struggle to actually complete.  

So I show up everyday in my composition notebook jotting to sentiment from my heart.  There are many days I am simply just pouring out feelings.  I have pages and pages of 'dear diary' type writing.  My vulnerable heart afraid to share these words with the world.  But other days surprise me, that vulnerability spills out through the keys on my keyboard.  I read the words over, then hit publish.  I trust that what has been written needs to be said.  I don't censor myself in my writing.  I don't edit the content.  I open up a new blog post and begin.  Usually with no idea of what I am going to write about it.  

I tend to thrive in the chaos.  My best ideas coming to me at the very last minute.  It seems to be my way, and organized chaos though - - - because I need organization.  

And it is my honor and pleasure to introduce to you these three stunning souls who have touched my heart deeply through there own creative process, beautiful work, and ability to share there heart with the world.  They will be sharing there response to the same questions the week of May 5th.  We have. . . 

Mindy Tsonas is an Artist, Feminist and Wish Alchemist.  She helps women find the right mix of magic and meaning in life through their own unique alchemy of wish-mailing, kindred connections, core creativity, passionate work and play, fierce self love, and authentic sexuality.  You can find her at: www.mindytsonas.blogspot.com

Louis Gale is a British artist, with a passion for color, pattern and energy.  She lives in Spain overlooking the ocean with a view of Gibraltar rock, fishing boast and the north African coastline in the distance.  Louise spends her days creating, running creative workshops, and assisting other creative souls with their businesses.  You can find her at: www.louisegale.com

Kelly Barton :: a little bit from her :: 
"little pockets filled with color and flare
days ago.  dancing in this girls memory.  
simple.  lemonade summers.  hot chocolate winters.  

this girl telling this stories she collected
and stuffed deep in her pockets.

believer of the simple.
maker of the color. 
owner of the laughter.
teller of the story.  

in real time i lived deep in the middle, always finding color in rare.  happy places.  i also love to teach along the sea, gathering with other souls and watching happy faces as they discover how simple creating really can be.  some days you might find me walking down the street with delilah blue, a sweet but sassy airedale.  you might even see me riding around on my old schwinn clover.  at the end of the day, i just want us all to be happy, kind and finding new ways to bring color into our days."  

You can find kelly at: www.kellybarton.com  and www.kellybarton.etsy.com


Thanks for joining me and these other fabulous ladies on there virtual porches, where the light is always on.  

ignite the spark

It wasn't that long ago when I was extremely shy.  I wanted to blend in.  Wasn't sure how to begin or even carry on a conversation.  I wanted to take risk, but was also so timid of the world.  Throughout my journey there has been so much inspiration from others that has helped me get to where I am today . . . 

Stronger, braver, ready to face the world with courage.  

Today I would like to pay tribute to some of these individuals and experiences.  

The journey out of my shell began with me pursuing the book store and stumbling upon SARK.  Her book; Succulent Wild Women first caught my attention because of the colors and the font feeling like handwriting.  I savored every line in this book and have gone back to it time and time again.  So much so that the pages are falling out.  

SARK'S book introduced me to Andrea Scher and opened up the world of blogging.  I never realized so much support, encouragement, and open heart was out there on the internet.  I became an avid ready of Andrea's blog, and still am today.  She is wonderful!  

In 2008 Andrea taught at Squam Arts Workshops.  I took a risk and attended totally unsure of what the experience would entail.  What I encountered was beyond amazing.  Not only was there this encouraging and loving world online, but these people really existed.  And in person they cheered each other on even louder.  

Elizabeth, the founder of squam, has this amazing ability to create magic.  It is hard to put into words the life changing experience that squam is and has been for me.  {P.S. this spring I will be teaching a mini writing workshop there and am head over heels excited.  A total dream come true!}

At squam I was shy.  I sat back observing this magic, but wasn't sure how I fit into it.  Along the way I met Kelly Barton and had no idea that day, that we would develop such a wonderful friendship.  I know no matter what that I can turn to her.  

The following year I attended the Be Present Retreat hosted by the amazing Liz Lamoreux. Having one retreat under my belt I showed up more confidante and comfortable in myself.  It was during this time near the sea that I met the most stunning souls who have become like sisters to me.  It was also here where I first started to believe in myself as a writer.  

The journey to finding me has been a slow and steady one.  The above mentions are just the beginning.  Next Friday I will continue my story and let you know how I found my voice.  

showing up

It is not easy to choose to live wide open
To wear your heart on your sleeve
Share you truest desires
Show up, and try something new

It is not easy to put yourself out there
To take a risk
To go after it
To see what will unfold from your choice

It is not easy

But we do it
Time and time again we show up
Unsure, legs shaky
Never fully ready

We jump in
Because we know we cannot live closed up
We know we have to try to see what could be
We know to risk means to live

When we cocoon ourselves in
We shut out the possibility
Close ourselves off from opportunity
Hide our light that needs to shine

If you never risk you never know

Along the way there will be bumps in the road
Moments of total failure and perceived embarrassment
Our heart will sink, the tears will fall, we will be crushed
But we will still be able to move on

We will lean on our loved ones
Allow the hurt to wash over us
Trust the process
And begin again

We will not allow a speed bump to steer us off course

Continue on we do
And the magic finds us
Our dreams unfold
And when we least expect it we are shining brilliantly

Sometimes it is even better than we hoped for
We feel alive, exploding with happiness
Our heart is exactly where it should be
And we know the journey was worth it

This is why we show up time and time again
This is why we risk vulnerability
This is why we lean in, speaking our truth and asking for help
This is why we never give up

The course may change
The journey may seem trying
But along the way, the pieces fall together
The true nature of your dream reveals itself to you

picking up the pace

It was that smile that got me as I passed you
We have spent hours talking about running
And as you looked at me I felt so vulnerable

Coming around the corner my legs did not want to continue
I had put in three miles and said to myself I was going to make it four
I was tired, but was not about to give up

I had no idea I would be crossing your path
As I rounded the corner, there you were
And I knew you were silently cheering me on as you waved

I reached for a little courage to push myself
Pick up the pace
And keep on going, faster than I thought I could

As I finished out my run your voice and smile kept me company
In my head I heard your cheers
Taking one step after the other, hoping to make you proud

After, you said I looked like a runner
Good pace, good stride, good cadence
My heart swelled with gratitude

You don't know this, but our conversations inspire me
They push me, and make me want to do better
When I am alone on the road your words play in my head

It was great to see you out there
In the past I never would have taken that road
To afraid to be seen

But there I was today, not only seen
But showing up, pushing myself,
And running my fastest pace yet

leaning in

When you come to me with your silent way of knowing
I surrender
Letting go into you, I know that I am safe
I shed the armor I have been carrying around
As you help me remove it
With the weight gone, I stand a little bit taller
Lean in a little bit closer
Arms open, heart set free
We are both unsure of the path we will soon be traveling
But we trust in the adventure
We lean into the unknowing
We hold each others hand
And take that next step forward, together

 

ignite the spark

he inspires me by sending little notes like this before my big moment

he inspires me by sending little notes like this before my big moment

What a strange week this has been.  Not sure if it was the moon affecting me, but I was off kilter.  Did you feel it to?  In trying to balance the swirling emotions I sought out some inspiration.

This book has me saying yes and shaking my head in agreement over and over again.  

It reminded me of this TED talk which I have watched many, many times.  

If you never failed, you never lived.  

On another note, this didn't inspire me this week - - - but it made me laugh and also terrified me.  Could you imagine?

Wishing you a weekend filled with delight and wonder.