you better be ready

If you ask the universe to teach you about one word

Over the course of the entire year

And for that word to be your focus for that time

Well

You better be ready

Because when you ask the universe to do something

It goes ahead and does it

And it may not be in the way you were expecting

In fact, it most likely will not be in the way you wanted

The universe will open your eyes

Dig deep into your soul

And tug at your heart strings

It will challenge you

Force you to look in the mirror

And really, truly see yourself

The universe will not give you any breaks

Or take you down any short cuts

It will come at you quickly

Throwing you some curve balls along the way

Pushing you to the edge

Then pulling you back up

And when you want to throw your hands up in the air

Trying to surrender

The universe won't let you

"This is what you asked for"

The universe will say

And she will stand beside you

Because the universe never gives up on you

Through all of it

The universe is right there by your side

Holding your hand

And guiding you through the difficult times

Even though you may not be able to see that

And when you want to kick the universe to the curb

She will remind you again

"This was your request"

And she will push and push

Until it finally clicks in your head

And we all know

How long somethings can take to click in your head

So you better be prepared

Because the universe is in full swing

To move you forward

finding my way home

Feeling very out of touch lately

With myself

And the world around me

Running from one thing to the next

Spending more hours that usual working

Not giving myself time to rest, process, breathe

My body brought on the warning signs strong this weekend

Forcing me into bed when I had other plans in mind

Sucking me of my energy

Bringing on strong waves of pain

Why does it take all of that to slow me down?

Why do I run so quickly?

Push myself so far?

I am not a superhero

I cannot do it all

Even if I want to

I am just one person

I can only do as much as I can do

There are times when I need time to just be

To stop for a minute and breathe in life

So now I need to find my way back to myself

Turn on the inner search light

And seek out the girl who has been running

I need to clear my calendar and schedule in some time alone

I have not picked up my pen in awhile

My heart and soul are yearning for me to write

There are so many words and feelings that want to come out

So many lessons I have been learning

That need to be expressed

So the search is on

To find my way home

believe

You have to believe in yourself

Believe that everything you dream of

Everything that calls to your heart

Even the silent whispers that your souls speaks

You have to believe that you are deserving of all of them

You have to stop beating yourself up

Stop thinking you will never make it

Stop letting those inner demons speak louder than your tenderness

You are traveling down your life path

You are on your very own journey

All of your hopes, dreams, and inner desires

They all have the potential to unfold right before you

But first

You have to believe

Believe in how wonderful you really are

Believe that the world would be a much different place

If you weren't here carving your own path

You have to believe in your worth

Because you are so worthy

Of love, light, laughter, adventure

You are worthy of it all

Today is the day

To take that one small step

That will open up a world of opportunity for you

Simply because you belived in yourself

Mindy

There are some people that come into your life

And upon meeting them you are never, ever the same

Mindy is one of those individuals for me

When I traveled to the Oregon Coast in 2009 I had no idea that the course of my life was going to be altered forever.  The way I viewed myself would be shattered.  And slowly over time I would be able to pick up the pieces, examine them, and for the first time see clearly who I really was.  The lack of confidence that I traveled with to Oregon would be tossed into the ocean and swept out to sea.  Boarding the plane back to NJ I was taking with me tools that I needed to forge ahead on my journey.

The journey of finding yourself is not an easy one to undertake or figure out.  There is no right or wrong way to do it.  It is just about showing up and living each day.  I struggled through some dark nights as tears poured from my eyes.  My inner demons shouting that I was not good enough, did not deserve happiness, and had nothing to offer this world.  There were moments that were incredibly tough.

But the beautiful part about life is that you do not have to ever travel alone.  As human beings we need each other and feed off of one another.  It is tough to show up and say: "I do not have the answers" ~ "I am hurting inside and am unsure why" ~ "I do not know what to do"  It is really difficult to shed our tough exterior and show the world our vulnerable pieces.  To admit our past mistakes and let them go.  Understanding that our past does not define our future.

When we do this.  When we we forgive ourselves, show up and just be who we are, exactly as we are ~ we are enough.  Magical things happen.  You meet people you never thought you would meet.  Experience a whole world of things you dreamed about.  And you get submerged into the life you are meant to be living.

Mindy opened me up.  Encouraged me along with each shaky step that I took.  She never let me believe those demons that tried to force their own opinion on me.  She gently shed light on the gift that I have inside of me and encourages me to share it with the world. If my path had never crossed Mindy's I am unsure of where I would be standing today.

It is amazing what individuals can do for each other.  There are times we do not even realize we are touching another's life, but we are.  And it happens because we allow ourselves to be seen and we show up in the world.

I am so incredibly grateful to know Mindy.  To stand here and watch her spread her wings and fly.  She breathes so much goodness into the world and inspires so many individuals.  She is one of the kindness, most gentle, and caring individuals that I know ~ with an incredible accent.  Her paintings are stunning and her heat filled with love and compassion.  I honor her courage to keep stepping forward on her journey.

I hope you have a minute to stop by and view her space at

Timsally

.  I just know you will adore her just as much as I do.  I have to warn you though, one minute of listening to her speak and you will want her to continue talking all night.

This is what a keeps me moving forward in life.  Incredible connections that transpire between individuals. Opening people up.  Feeling comfortable to shed the hard exterior and appreciate the "neat" things in life.

protective heart

I place things into my heart

Nurturing and cultivating with tenderness

Opening up to new possibilities

And experiencing different adventures

I am willing to put myself out there

Submerge my whole heart into it

Take chances

I try not to hold back or to hold on

Giving people and things space to be

Just as they are

But when it comes to speaking about matters of the heart

Face to face

I struggle

My mind goes blank and words just flow out of me

I am not even sure of what I am saying

It feels like an out of body experience

Just like when I speak in front of a large group

When the moment is over and I have a chance to breathe

I wonder why my mind took over like that

Was it trying to protect my heart from being hurt

It seems to go into this defensive mode

Feelings I wanted to express never come out

Things I wanted to share stay tucked away inside my heart

In the aftermath I struggle

Wondering why I can be so open to take the chance in the first place

But then hold back in saying what I really wanted in the moment

It is something I know I need to continue working on

With each experience being conscious of this habit

Slowly peeling back the protective shell

To reveal the tender open heart within

"trues"

An inner dialogue is always running through my head

At times the words spoken are not kind

Carrying daggers

They stab me in the heart

Making me feel like I am not good enough

It is my own voice that is speaking

Why is it so hard on me?

Words flow from my heart for others

Lifting them up

Holding them gently

Carrying them through the storm

But when I look in the mirror

And speak to myself

The words are not kind at all

It is in these moments

That I am so grateful for my "trues"

The individuals in my life who see me for exactly who I am

And reflect it back to me when those dark voices start to speak

They usher in

And fight off my inner daemons

I do not even have to ask for there help

They just know

And like angels they appear

I am so incredibly blessed

To have these beautiful souls in my life

Holding up a mirror to me

And gently opening up my eyes

When I am unable to see