Gratitude

I often speak of how lucky I am.

How throughout my journey in life there have been difficult challenging times,

but along the way I meet some of the nicest people

Who hold my hand, guide me, stand beside me.

I have had some of the most amazing experiences,

usually happening when I least expect them.

Chance encounters

Life altering moments

They find there way to me

Some way, some how

It is all really mind blowing, heart opening, soul filling

These moments would not hold so much for me

if I did not appreciate them for what they were

And for what they opened up inside of me

I hold a book inside my heart filled with a list of things I am grateful for

Each day something new is added to that book

It warms my soul and brings a smile to my face

If these moments just came and went without me savoring them

They would be like any other moment in time

Insignificant and passing without a second thought

But for me they are not just moments

They are beauty, courage, truth, connection, love

They are amazing

and I am so grateful for each one of these moments finding there way to me

Here is a small list of some of the things I am grateful for in this moment

~ Postcards arriving in the mail

~ Connecting daily with people all across the states

~ 3:00 coffee breaks

~ Spending time in different parks and taking the time to soak it all in

~ Feeling honored to hear the truth of someone's story

~ Public transportation

~ Family and friends who listen to me and let me bounce things off of them

~ The sun shining down on me all weekend

~ My ring and all the meaning, truth, and reminders that it holds for me

~ Being able to recognize and feel proud for how far I have come on my journey

~ Having the opportunity to spend time with an out of state friend coming into town

~ The sanity that comes from having lunch with a friend

~ Being able to laugh at myself when I say the most ridiculous thing

~ Having wonderful people in my world each day who make me laugh and I can joke around with

~ The support and love that comes from my scarf sisters

opening up

Some may not think that it is the safest thing to do

But that does not stop me

I risk my heart anyway

Opening it up to the world

Allowing people to come in

And sit with me 

I share my story

Even the parts that are not pretty

I show the vulnerable pieces of myself

Without any agenda or expectation

I show up 

As myself

Allowing others to enter the space around my heart and soul

I breathe in the moment

Letting it soak deeply into me

Knowing that these are the moments that I will remember

I listen deeply

To the stories others tell

Feeling each emotion that comes from them

I care about the way each person is weaved together 

As they make their journey through life

I treasure the moments when others shed some of their skin

Allowing me in to see them

Granting me the permission to enter their space

It is blessing to stand with them in that moment

I show up

As myself

With my heart in the palm of my hands

Showing the shining pieces as well as the bumps and bruises

In hopes that you will feel safe enough 

To share yourself with me

soaking it in

Wherever you are

In this vey moment

Know that you are where you are suppose to be

Believe in this

Even though it may feel uncomfortable

You may be going through a heart wrenching struggle

You may be giggling with a friend and smiling from ear to ear

You may be holding hands with the one you adore

Or you may be shedding tears for losing a loved one

Whever you find yourself in this moment

Embrace it

Let it wash over you and sink in

Each moment we are building our character

Defining ourselves

Creating memories that will live in our hearts

And the hearts of others

Let the moments take us where they will

Do not fight them off

Sink deeply into them

These are the moments of our one precious life

moments

We like it when we know the answers

When we know what is coming next

When we do not have to wonder

It is easy to be surrounded by those who know us

We can stand confidently in that moment

Being seen and held

And loved for who we are

But the moments where we are not sure what is coming next

The times when we are surrounded by strangers

Showing up because we know we have to be there

But we are not sure what to do

Those are the times that challenge us

They test our strength and our courage

They force us to move outside our box

They are not easy

They are uncomfortable

And push us to look deep within

To know who we are

And stand firmly on those two legs

Even amidst adversity

It is in those awkward moments

That we learn

About the world

And those surrounding us

It is in those moments

That we see who we are

Deep down inside

And we can be proud of that person

It takes effort

To be in that place

To soak up what is happening

Outside of ourselves

And deep within

But once we move past the difficult feelings

We can just be

Where we are

Exactly as we are

A little bit stronger than we were before

wish

Come sit beside me

Tell me what you wish for

Lets talk about all the details

Even the small ones

That you think might not matter

Lets dig into your wish

We will hold hands

And wish your wish together

For a wish to come true

It has to start moving

That will start with me and you

Wishing our wishes together

So sit beside me

Look deep into my eyes

And tell me

What is it you wish for?

the writing in me

At night when I would dream

It was as if I was watching it all unfold

Like a movie was playing in my head

I was not present

I was watching things happen to me

I see in some of my writing I have done the same thing

Using "she"

Instead of "I"

When the feelings are mine

The experience happened to me

It is my heart and soul that is speaking

When I started coming into my own

Feeling comfortable and confidante in my own skin

My dreams shifted

Things were unfolding and I was right there in it

I was no longer watching from above

I know I have to do the same with my writing

I need to own it

Feel confidante in it

Even if it is extremely vulnerable and raw

I need to lay it out there

Because that is me