struggling

/

It seems as if there are very few places

Where I am showing up lately

My physical body is there

But my mind is off

Wandering

Not able to make one complete thought

Finding it impossible

To engage in conversation

Concentrate on what I am doing

Listen to what others are saying

There are very few places

Where I am feeling like myself

Strong

Confident

Present in the moment

I have been holding back

Building up this wall around me

Censoring my words

Pushing feelings and thoughts aside

In the brief moments that I have been feeling myself

I have been having deep conversations

Over a shared meal

Spilling out contents of my heart onto the table

With a kind soul sitting across from me

Telling me not what I want to hear

But what is true in this world

I feel like I am falling into darkness

Unsure of how to pull myself out

Struggling

. . .

/

It was a thought, a feeling, a moment

That crept in when I was not even looking

I did not even know that it existed inside

Until it whispered quietly to me

At first I was afraid to listen

Pushing it away as quickly as it had arrived

But it was persistent

It reminded me that in life I take risks

I go for it, no matter what it is

Because I will never know unless I try

It reminded me of my quiet strength

And let me know that no matter

I will be okay

I may stumble

But I will always stand back up

Moving forward

Smiling

Because I listened

i believe

/

I believe

in the power of dreaming

you have to give those dreams a voice in order for them to begin their journey

I believe

if you really put your mind to something you can do it

but it does take work

I believe

you can make the world a better place by being kind to people

deep connections are important

I believe

in the healing power of laughter and play

letting go and being silly heals the soul

I believe

in ceramonies and rituals to claim things or let them go

recognizing what moves you is important for the journey

I believe

in the power of telling your truth and sharing your story

opening up yourself to the world is healing

I believe

in not being connected to things

but going out and embracing the experiences that fill our soul

I believe

** and for Brian and Timmy

I believe....I believe that we........I believe that we will win.....I believe that we will win......I believe that we will win!!!

peddling on

/

I was struggling to find my footing this week

Keep my concentration

And continue stepping forward

I could not figure out what was pulling me down

But I could feel the darkness settling in

I took each day slowly

Sometimes pushing myself to just make it through the next hour

The darkness took me by surprise

And really threw me off balance

I could not formulate into words what it was

And that made the pain go even deeper

But stepping onto my bicycle brought me back to me

It was not an easy ride

My muscles burned

My mind wanted to turn around

But I peddled forward

Slowly coming back to myself

As I pushed on

I saw how strong I had become

And I realized that I cannot listen

To the fears that were whispering there words into my heart

I have come so far

My mind is strong

I have an incredible support system

I am truly blessed to be where I am

Peddling along

Soaking in the warm air

Digging deep into my souls thoughts

For me this is beauty

This is pure

This is life