Reflecting

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Colored Pencils

, originally uploaded by

Jennifer Belthoff

.

I have been quiet here lately. Turning into myself. Looking find answers to some questions within my heart. As it turns out though there is no need for me to answer any questions. Someone has answered them for me. So I would like to share with you a poem from the great David Whyte.

The House of Belonging

I awoke

this morning

in the gold light

turning this way

and that

thinking for

a moment

it was one

day

like any other.

But

the veil had gone

from my

darkened heart

and

I thought

it must have been the quiet

candlelight

that filled my room,

it must have been

the first

easy rythm

with which I breathed

myself to sleep,

it must have been

the prayer I said

speaking to the otherness

of the night.

And

I thought

this is the good day

you could

meet your love,

this is the black day

someone close

to you could die.

This is the day

you realize

how easily the thread

is broken

between this world

and the next

and I found myself

sitting up

in the quiet pathway

of light,

the tawny

close grained cedar

burning round

me like fire

and all the angels of this housely

heaven ascending

through the first

roof of light

the sun has made.

This is the bright home

in which I live,

this is where

I ask

my friends

to come,

this is where I want

to love all the things

it has taken me so long

to learn to love.

This is the temple

of my adult aloneness

and I belong

to that aloneness

as I belong to my life.

There is no house

like the house of belonging.

You

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You have wings

Beautiful expanding wings

You fly freely

Gliding through the breeze

Soaring where ever you may

You have strength

Strength to rise up and spread those wings

I can see it in your eyes

And the way you carry yourself when you walk

Your strength cast out a radiant light

You are brave

You let people in

And let the world see you, all of you

You smile when you are happy

And shed tears when you are sad

You are kind

Showing a compassion towards others

Understanding and listening

You get to the heart and soul of someone else

You see someone for who they are

You are beautiful

A breathe of fresh air

Continue to keep dreaming

and reaching for the stars

It is your light that will guide you

standing

/

I feel like I am learning how to stand again

On my own two feet

with no one there to catch me if I fall

Carefully I take each step

Trying to be aware of what surrounds me

Listening closely to each sound

Standing is not always an easy thing to do

Sometimes it is easer to sit

and let it all pass by

But my soul yearns to stand,

To stand tall

proud

and brave

I want to be seen

heard

and understood

As I stand and look around

I notice I am not alone

Angels surround me and cheer me on

I am standing now

Taller than I ever stood before

and I will continue to reach and grow

pattern of life

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Open my eyes

let them adjust to the darkness

I can see the pattern

of going nowhere fast

Always ending up in the same place

no matter how fast I run or how slow I walk

The destination always seems to be the same

gloomy when I look at it from this angel

Being in the moment and living it is not so bad

but when I already know the ending before I even finish the first chapter

why bother reading the book?

I already read a version of it before

No reason to suffer through the sadness as tears soak my cheeks

Maybe it is best to just put the book down and walk away until

I am ready to write a new ending

Thankful

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I am so thankful today for many thinks including but not limited to ...

* This warm sunny day that I have been blessed with

* Spending time with my family, they always bring a smile to my face and make me laugh

* Having such fun and wonderful parents, brothers, and sister in laws

* My studio apartment which houses my creativity and dreams and shelter's me

* Being healthy to ride mile after mile on my bicycle

* The amazing people I have met through this community and the incredible support they give me

* Being able to put thoughts and feeling into words down on paper

* Working ~ with people that are kind and having someone to spend lunch with

* The sound and smell of the ocean ~ it calms me, brings me back, and reminds me to feel

* For having the opportunity to experience, feel, and truly enjoy all that is around me

* For being aware of life and living it

What are you grateful for today?