Life List

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I have this one life,

This one amazing moment in time.

There is so much I want to experience, 

so much I want to feel...

How do I do it all?

How do I accomplish everything I want to?

Sometimes, when things are not just in my head...

but written down on paper they feel more real.

So I did just that.  

The old fashioned way, pen to paper.

Then I brought my list with me onto this medium,

The world wide web!!!

(does anyone still call it that?)

For anyone to see.

And now I feel obligated...

To hold my part of the bargain.  

To actually do the things I want to do.

To keep the promises I have made to myself, 

and have put out to the world.  

In the past these lists sat tucked away in draws,

only  to be discovered years later.

However now it is out there....

my hearts deepest desires,

floating in cyber space.  

So now I can keep track.

I can cross things off and add more things on.

And if you want to help I could always use to cheering on.  

You can check out my list

here

, and I hope it inspires you to make a list of your own.  

Moving!

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Come November 30th our time here at this wonderful apartment, which we love, will be over.  It is wonderful here and we are going to miss this place, it is just our budget can not handle the rent increase :(

So....

Dear Universe,

Can you please bring Christian and I a wonderful studio/one bedroom space.  We are looking for wonderful windows which bring in lots of natural light.  We really want to stay around with area because we share our car, and it would be much easier with both of us working together in Ramsey.  We both have an enormous love for t

he outdoors and want a great outdoor sitting space.  We want a place we can call home.  

Thank you for taking the time to listen to our request.  We appreciate the hard work you do each day and look forward to our new space.

Thank you.

Love,

Jennifer and Christian

I have never downright asked for exactly what I wanted.  It feels liberating to do so...

Stories

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I have a story to tell.  

Something I want share with the world.

Feelings, emotions...

Pain, happiness.

It is all inside of me

It is a part of me everyday.

We all have a story to tell

We are all unique, wonderful, interesting.

However we also are all on a time schedule

Going...

     Going....

Going....

Never taking the time to hear someone else's story.

We get lost inside the hustle and bustle, 

Swept away inside the rush.

I want to slow down.

I want to hear your story.

And I also want you to hear mine.  

I have a story to tell,

You have a story to tell,

Let's sit down and share our stories.  

No Pictures leads to more ramblings...

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I keep thinking that if I don't have new pictures I cannot post anything. I don't have many new photos on my computer since I lost everything, and lately for some reason, I have not really picked up my camera. But I am throwing the idea of 'no pictures, no posting' out the widow. Only having words is sometimes better...


Destiny or is it in your hands....
Fate or your decisions....

Which is true?
Do we have control, or is everything controlled for us in some way?

I love these types of conversations. About life, the meaning of life, how things are...anything truly personal. It really connects you to someone. It is hard to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable. To not only show the good side of you, but the not so good as well. To take things out of the closet, lay it on the table, and say; 'hey this is me, am I ok?' I can guarantee you, you are ok, and I have probally felt the same as you sometime in my life. There are so many times in life when we feel so alone. We do not understand a particular feeling we have and we think only we feel this way. However that is probally not true. We are human. The same things hurt our feelings, make us sad, and make us want to laugh. It is the ability to share and form a connection with others which is tough.

One of the people I admire most in this world has this amazing ability to be open and honest even about the most humiliting and embarresing topics. She will tell you exactly how she feels and she will never judge me for any of my feelings, no matter how ridiculous I think they are. Because of this I don't ever feel the need to pretend to be someone else, or hold anything back because I know she will always accept my feelings as 'my feelings'.

I wish everyone was able to be that open, including myself. I do think I am a very open person, but I am my own worst critic so I am not really sure.

There is a difference in honesty and a willingness to be humiliated. Humiliated is not even the right word. I guess just having the ablility to really put yourself out there. I used to hate the idea of being embarressed in public. Oh it just frightened me terribly. So I was quiet and shy, never really wanted to be the center of attention. I rarely talked, and gosh I would never tell a joke...people would laugh then. However those days are long gone. I am not searching for the spotlight, but I not afraid to speak my mind anymore. I feel how I feel...bottom line. If you don't like it I really hope you can at least understand my postion on it. And if we truly disagree I hope we can talk about it, and possibly I will be able to learn something I never knew before. I do silly things, people laugh at me...and I don't mind. I enjoy every day and try to make the best of every situation.

Life is to short.....

Well of course I have rambled on again, and did not even talk about what I wanted to. So stay tuned for destiny or your choice. :)

I'll Allow Myself...

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to love but not get so caught up in love that I lose who I am

to cry but not drown mysef in my sorrows

to be angry but not hold on to anger for to long

to do what I want but not forget that my actions and decisions effect others as well as myself

to have what I want but not be consumed by materialistic things

to let go but not forget what brought me this far

to be loved but not stop showing loving for myself and others

to feel good but not be arrogant about it