know your worth

You are the one carving out the road before you.  You decide where you are going to go, who you are going to take along on the journey, and when you are going to stop to admire the view.  Yes, you are the one holding the map and choosing the final destination.  

As I stand on this unknown ground I been savoring the moments I would not have had the opportunity to enjoy had I been working.  This has been an epic summer.  Exploring different places, spending time with family, and finding new roads to go down on my bike.  So many memories created and tucked inside my heart. 

But then there is this little voice inside my head reminding me that I have yet to get a job.  It makes me doubt my worth, doubt my skills, doubt my ability.  I wonder why it is that I haven't heard back from places.  Why I didn't get a chance at the ones I really wanted.  And what is it that my future holds.  The negative self talk has been fierce.  

I need to shut down the negativity in my head and remind myself of my worth.  No one really knows what they are doing.  We all tend to make it up as we go along.  What matters most is the willingness to put yourself out there and take a chance.  I am proud of myself for the chances I have taken but also know that there is so much more that I want to go after. 

I need to stand tall with my head held high and my shoulders back.  To speak with confidence.  To believe in my gut that I can do whatever it is I put my mind to.  

I am

+ a creative thinker
+ a problem solver
+ patient
+ a good listener
+ grounded and mindful
+ kind and compassionate
+ able to express my heart through words
+ thoughtful
+ a hard worker
+ determined
+ brave
+ able to admit my mistakes
+ not afraid to try new things
+ passionate about my work
+ wanting to help people unearth their light
+ me, and there is no one else like me

Taking a moment to sit down and write who I am reminded me of all I have to offer.  I am an asset.  I am ready to learn, grow, and develop into my next iteration.  We all have iterations of ourselves and throughout our lives they reveal themselves. 

There was a time in my life when I was the shy quiet kid just trying to blend into the background. Over time I grew more into myself as I learned who I truly was.  I am still learning and know that it will be an ongoing lesson.  

I love unearthing where I want to go as I listen close to my hearts deepest desires.  I want my front porch to continue to be my office.  I want to help people step into their own light.  I want to create and cultivate community.  I know that I can do this.  I just need to keep taking risk's and stepping forward.  I also need to ditch the negative self talk and speak those kind words that I know to be true.  

And so I am taking my I Am statements and writing each one down on a slip of paper.  Each morning as I sit in front of my alter and write that days intention I will read these words out loud.  Reading them out loud will help imprint them on my heart. 

Sometimes we needed to be reminded of how amazing we really are.  Be compassionate with yourself and give yourself that reminder.  

Who are you?  I invite you to write down your own I AM statements.  Be bold, be kind, be brave with your writing and really share who you are in all of your radiant glory.  

Share a few of your I AM statements in the comments so that I can celebrate who you are, exactly as you are!

Let's Work Together

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the simple moments

I crave moments over possessions.  Tiny pockets of time where connection runs deep.  I love when my heart opens up and a lasting memory is created.  This is more important to me than fancy shoes or an expensive vacation.  The best moments occur through a shared experience.  

Randomly finding a beautiful spot along side of a pond and spending all day there chatting and laughing.  

Coffee together

Long walks

Getting lost in the woods

These precious moments fill my heart.  It is what gives purpose and meaning to life.  Yes, nice things are nice.  But for me they are not a necessity.  I need the basics for survival.  Not the fanciest car, biggest house, or most expensive piece of jewelry.  

“I’m just searching for moments”

— One Week

I crave living simply.  Letting go of material things.  Purchasing only the things I need and purging what I don't.  I choose to carve out time for adventure.  Take the chance to connect.  Push myself outside of my comfort zone.  

How about you?  What is it you crave in life?

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Let's Work Together

take flight

You might not know where you are going, but the only way to take flight is by boarding the plane.  Standing with your two feet firmly planted on the ground will not get you anywhere.  You need to move.  You need to reach.  You need to take a chance.  

For the past ten years {probably even more} I have been living within the same two mile radius.  Yes, I moved four times but I didn't go far.  My home location shifted but everything else remained the same.  I go to the same grocery store.  Check out books from the same library.  Travel down the same roads.  I know this area like the back of my hand.  There is a comfort here.  

There is also this tiny little whisper that I am beginning to hear.  It is seeking out a shift, wanting to explore new roads, and unearth different places.  Experience what life is like beyond this two mile radius.  

I have always dreamt of living in a sleepy little seaside town.  Where I could get all of my errands done on my bicycle.  Spend evenings on the porch with loved ones.  Go for walks at night.  Listen to the sound of the ocean daily.  Enjoy the buzz of the summer visitors and savor the quiet when they scurried home.  A little town that I could become deeply engrained in the small community.  

I recently finished a book about Nantucket where the main character was a children's librarian.  Even though I have never been there I found myself wishing I could click my heels and be transported.  This book got me buzzing about a different place, a slower life, an opportunity to savor the outdoors more than I get to today.    

What has held me to this tiny radius is my family and my love.  It would be hard to be a plane ride away from family.  We do so much together and it is such a joy to be an aunt my nieces and nephews.  My love is part of a family business that is rooted here as well.  

But this feeling inside of me has me wondering.  With no job tying me down is it time to take a leap and seek what is beyond?  Throughout this entire uncertain moment of my life I have been keeping one thing close; staying open.  I am staying open to possibility.  Staying open to unearthing what the next right step is.  Staying open to embracing the moment in front of me.  I am simply staying open.  

In this state of openness flight is possible.  I know I need to keep following my heart.  Keep stepping forward.  Keep moving.  When I stop everything becomes stagnant and I lose my passion and fire.  The idea of flight lights me up.  It reminds me that I can do anything.  

And so I do not extinguish the tiny voice.  I acknowledge it even though I do not know what it means.  I listen to it and continue to listen to all the whispers.  I do what feels right.  I keep stepping forward.  I extend my arms and prepare to fly.  

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living on your own terms

"Looking around at all that is between these four walls my heart overflows with gratitude.  Everything in this space is a direct reflection of who I am and the journey I am traveling.  The shelves are filled with books, art, and photographs.  There are mini alters tucked in all around with pieces of nature and talismans from my travels.  You may look at that glass jar filled with shells and think they are just shells but they hold the stories of my unearthing.  You will not find a television but you will see a red bicycle with a basket and a cozy spot to sit and write. 

I am the one who crafted this space.  I am the one who made it happen.  This is my little haven.  It is in this space where I feel peaceful, safe and happy.  I am free to dream.  Free to grow.  Free to do whatever my heart desires.  I am grateful to be here alone."  - words from my journal 2010

I came across these words as I was going through some of my old journals.  I was immediately transported back to my tiny studio apartment which held me gently, gave me a new form of independence, and space to unearth who I am.  

Prior to living alone I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it.  Would I get scared?  Would it be lonely?  Would I struggle?  The answer to those three questions is yes.  I would get scared.  I would be lonely.  I would struggle.  But in living alone I gained the opportunity learn how to work through the tough moments.  I grew stronger and more confidante in myself.  

I remember one time in the middle of the night I woke up screaming.  I had heard someone enter my apartment and it felt like they were standing over me.  I turned on the lights, and luckily it being a studio apartment I was able to see everything.  It was just a nightmare, there was no one there.  But that nightmare rattled me and I couldn't fall back asleep.  I had wished that someone was there to get my mind off of it.  But it was just me.  

There were other time when I was so grateful to know that the only way that my door was going to open was if I opened it.  No one else had the key.  No one else was expected to come home.  It was just me.  When I walked in the door everything would be where i left it.  The only mess to clean up was my own.  

On a daily bases I reminded myself to be grateful.  Because once I found someone and possibly started a family I would not have my own space to come home to.  I wouldn't be able to just leave and not tell someone where I was going.  I wouldn't be able to leave my paint all over the kitchen counter.  I wouldn't be able to do whatever it was my heart was calling me to do at any given moment.  There would be other people I would have to check in with first.  

For years I was searching for someone to make me whole.  Thinking if I found the right boyfriend I would be finally be happy.  But in living alone I learned that I was the one I was waiting for this entire time.  No one was going to make me happy except myself.  It isn't anyone else's job except my own.  I had to figure out what light me up.  I had to unearth what made me smile from ear to ear.  I had to put in the time to figure it all out.  No one would ever do that for me and I couldn't expect someone to. 

Once I realized this everything shifted in me.  I didn't worry about dating or finding the right guy.  I dug in deep on a self exploration journey to find out what really made me happy.  I dipped my toe into a lot of things that weren't me.  I became an explorer and tried a lot of things on for size. 

What I ended up learning is that who I am and what makes me happy was there all along, I just had to recognize it.  

I am a writer.  It is words that bring me joy.  I am in love with reading and writing.  I didn't ever see myself as a writer but slowly I began to give myself credit for it and embrace that this is who I am.

Living alone was a gift.  An invaluable gift that I will forever cherish.  I loved my studio apartment and how safe I felt there.  I savor all of the memories that I made.  The struggles, the hardship, the laughter, the loneliness, the creative energy, the conversations, the kisses, the unknowing.  All of it is deeply engrained in me.  I am a better person for having lived alone.  

crossing over the bridge

Waiting on the other side of the bridge is the life you have been cultivating.  The one where you show up exactly as you are, standing tall in your light.  Yes, it is right there. 

All you need to be is be brave enough to cross the bridge and claim it.

The choice is yours.  You can stay exactly where you are.  Feet firmly planted on the ground.  You know the ropes on this side.  Even with your eyes closed you can find your way through.  You have a comfort and ease here.

Or you can venture into the unknown.  Into the place that your heartstrings are pulling you.  You know the life you are meant to be living is on the other side of that bridge.  You know you can totally rock it.  You know the time is now.  Each step you have taken has brought here.  Why stop now?  

You have been working towards this and you have finally arrived.  There is a community cheering you on and supporting your crossing.  You know that this will not be your last crossroad but you know you will not get to any others unless you keep moving forward.   

The bridge may look unsteady, but it will hold you.  Trust, believe, and know that is the time to cross over.  Now is the time to claim your one wild and precious life.  Now is the time for you to show yourself that you can do this.  

Go ahead, cross over that bridge and continue building a bold and beautiful life. 

stronger together

When the universe wants to teach you a lesson it doesn't give up until you learn it.  

I am an introvert.  I tend to observe rather than engage.  I take in all that is happening around me.  But when you only observe you stand on the outside and no one knows what is going on with you inside.  There are times I feel isolated and lonely.  There are times when I feel defeated and unsure.  

One of the ways that I connect is by showing up to this space and spilling open the contents of my heart.  It allows me the opportunity to share my story.  In sharing my story I hear from others who are going through something similar and it makes me feel less alone. 

All to often I feel like I need to do it on my own.  I do not like to ask for help and when others try to help I push them away.  I am a pleaser and want to do anything to make someone else comfortable.  I think of others needs before my own even when they are willing to help me.  When it comes to my work I feel like it all has to be done by me.  I bog myself down with trying to do it all.  But no one person can do everything.  

We are stronger when we come together.

This is the lesson the universe has been trying to teach me.  The lesson I have been pushing away time and time again.  But within these last few weeks I am learning that I can't do it all alone.  I need to reach out.  I need to invite others in.  

My sister in law showed me this by sharing a very personal story publicly.  In doing so she connected with other tender hearts who have gone through or is going through what she had.  In sharing her story she helped others to know that they are not alone and in turn she learned that when she felt isolated that there were others out there going through what she had.  

It is important to share our stories.  

It is our stories that invite others in.
It is our stories that connect us. 
It is our stories that bring us closer to one another.  
It is in telling our stories that we help our hearts heal. 

For the past couple of years I have been on a journey to eat more mindfully and move my body daily.  Karen and Katrina from Tone It Up have been my inspiration.  I want to have more energy, a clear mind, and feel strong. 

I have lingered on the outskirts of the Tone It Up Community.  I longed to find a couple of other girls from NJ who followed the plan but never took the effort to really seek them out, until now.  They just kicked off their next challenge and I actively pursed finding others from my area.  It has been such a blessing to know they are out there.  I never would have found them had I not sought them out.  Together we are going to go through this.  We will be there to support one another to hold each other accountable and let each other know it is ok when we slip up.  

We are stronger together.

The theme for this challenge is actually titled 'Stronger Together'.  That could not have been more appropriately titled.  The universe showing up again to try to teach me this lesson.  

When I was younger I was terrible at math.  I remember sitting for hours at the dining room table with my dad as he tried to explain it all to me.  It took a while but once I got it, I had it.  My mom always said she could see the moment the light bulb went off in my head and I understood what he was explaining. 

If my mom was here today I think this would be one of those moments she would see the light bulb going off.   I am FINALLY learning to invite others in.  To share my heart not only in the written word but through stories and conversations.  I crave and desire that face to face connection.  Being an introvert it can be hard to show up into that. 

Writing has given me the opportunity to pour my heart out and learn that when I did so I would not be rejected.  It is ok to share.  It is necessary to share. 

I have grown steady on these writing legs but it is time to spread my wings and dive in deeper.  Knowing that we are stronger together I feel deep courage and confidence inside my heart to keep stepping forward on this journey.  It is time to open up and let others see me in ways that I have not done so before.  

I invite you to join me on this journey.  To take these steps together.  To encourage one another.  To let each other know that they are not alone.  Will you join me?