what I don't want to forget from She Recovers NYC

This past weekend I attended the She Recovers NYC conference.  When I first saw the posting about it I was immediately drawn to it and my heart said yes.  I did not waste any time contemplating.  I checked the dates and signed up.  Something deep inside was telling me I needed to be there, even though I didn't know why.    

I showed up, alone.  Unsure of what to expect or what I was even getting myself into.  I made a promise to keep my heart open and lean deeply in.  I am grateful for this weekend.  For the moments that unfolded, the words that touched me, and the people that were there.  Before any story slips away I want to jot them down so I can hold onto them forever.  

What I don't want to forget from this weekend is:

• The way Amy and Jen scooped me up and invited me in.  And how even when we lost track of one another we found each other.    
• A room full of 500 kick ass women who have been through the ringer and who have chosen to show up, do the work, and stand in their truth and in their light.  There is so much power in this.  
• Lunch conversation and the incredible women who opened up their hearts and shared their stories with pure honest conviction.  They were not stories of rainbows and butterflies.  They were dark, hard moments.  But they shared the truth of these stories without judgment or shame.  
•  The moments I rushed back to the hotel room and the moments I allowed myself to slow down and be present with my surrounding.  A reminder to slow down more often.  
• Seeing people who looked just like someone else I know.  There is something to this.  I just can't put my finger on it yet.  
• Experiencing two deeply intentional and spiritual yoga classes.  It wasn't about getting physically fit.  It was about getting stronger in your mind, body, and spirit.  I know that this is the type of work that I want to do in the yoga community.  
• Learning that the details of the story do not matter as much as how you use the pain.    
• Hearing Elena Brower read words read from Prayers of Honoring by Pixie Lighthorse and see how my circles are really connected.  
• Getting lost, so very lost.  But finding my way.  
• And these words

"Your sensitivity is your greatest gift.  It is what you will use to set the world on fire". - Glennon Doyle Melton

"Move beyond the duality of either/or and hold the "and" - Nikki Myers

"Part of going through life with empathy is understanding it is not about you". - Elizabeth Vargas

"It's not up to me what I have to go through.  It's up to me how I handle it". - Gabby Bernstein

Sometimes there is a simple calling, an immediate "yes".  And we dig deep into our hearts and trust that yes even though we have no idea why we are trusting it. That is what this weekend was.  A moment of trusting the "yes".  I am so glad that I did.  As I continue to process I am sure more stories will unfold but I want to leave you with one last thought.  

This journey called life is not a solitary expedition. We are not here to hash through it alone.  First lean deeply into yourself and get to know who you are at the core.  Then reach your hand out and invite others in.  When you share the truth of who you are, you encourage others to do the same and you will see that you are not alone, ever.  

"and the world spins madly on"

My friend recently lost her mom.  Upon hearing the news my heart was filled with so much love for her.  I could relate to that strange feeling where you knew your life was changed forever, yet you couldn't grasp that it was actually true.  

I remember standing in the coffee shop days after learning the severity of my own mom's diagnosis of stage 4 cancer.  The world was spinning madly on and I couldn't understand how that was possible.  Life as I knew it was crumbling around me and yet there were people going about their day to day activity.  Didn't they know that I was on the verge of being changed forever?  Couldn't they see the sadness in my eyes?  Did they not feel the hurt spilling from my heart?  They rushed passed me, not even noticing that I was there.  

When you are in this deep phase of sadness every day task's take an incredible amount of effort to complete.  Before you would wake up and brush your teeth as if you were on autopilot.  But within the grief you need to literally push yourself out of bed and force yourself to do something so ordinary.  It is as if everything has slowed down and you are living in a thick cloud of fog.  

I stood in the coffee shop this morning.  Consciously choosing to tuck my phone into my pocket and look around.   I know nothing of the lives of the individuals sharing this space with me.  I don't know what they did right before they arrived here or where they were going after.  For someone their life could be changing and I would become that person rushing past them.  

We never know what someone else is going through.  We do not know if they just had the best moment of their life or if they are struggling to complete an ordinary task like ordering a cup of coffee.  This realization is a reminder to always treat people with kindness.  Have patience with strangers, and be willing to cut people some slack and give them the benefit of the doubt.  

That person driving erratically past you; maybe they are on the way to the hospital for that last moment with their loved one.  Sure it looks and feels like and ordinary day for you but for them their is nothing ordinary about it.  

Together let's remember to open our hearts a little bit wider and choose kindness.  Smile at strangers, hold the door open, say please and thank you.  It is these simple gestures that bring peace and calm to those who are in the haze, and it also brings more love to our world. This world could use all the love that people are willing to give it.  Let's fill it with hearts!

:: A little musical inspiration which inspired the title of this post ::

what if this was it?

What if this was it?
What if this was your one chance to take a leap into the great unknown
Open your heart
Live out loud
What if you were brave enough in this moment to take the risk you have always wanted to take
What would you do?
Where would you go?
What one thing would you make happen?
We are always waiting for the perfect moment, perfect opportunity, perfect chance
Yet that perfect time never arrives
You have to take advantage of the moments you have right now
Live with intention
Choose the path you want to go down
You have to take things into your own hands
The time is now
Yes, right now
Take a deep breathe in
Close your eyes
Imagine what your next step will be
Open them up, then go for it
What are you waiting for?
This is it
Your time is now
Live in the moment
And leap into the wild unknown

it's time to write your next chapter

We made it.  Through another winter.  Where the darkness crept in but we kept the light burning.  Things slowed down.  The cold air kept us inside.  We hunkered down and hibernated.  Choosing to curl under blankets rather than take off on an adventure.  We were gentle with ourselves.  Easing into the days and quietly settling into the dark nights.  

But we are ready to bloom again.  To step into the sunshine and breathe deeply into what is possible.  It is time to create our own new beginning.  It is time to bring movement and adventure back to our daily lives.  It is time to get outside and run freely.  The spark of creativity is ready to be ignited.  

And so we begin.  On the first day of Spring with hope in our hearts.  We look forward to days filled with light and dream up new adventures to take.  We know the energy that the sun infuses into us and we are ready to blaze a new path forward.  

Time passes quickly.  We must make the most of our moments and write our own incredible stories.  For we are the creators of our life.  We choose where we are going and what we will do when we get there.  Don't waste a single second more.  Begin today to create the most epic story, ever.    

What story are you writing?  What one thing can you do to begin to create the story of your dreams?  

Writing Prompt:  The next chapter of my story is going to include ... 

keep stepping forward

Some days you feel like you have been knocked down
Struggling to get back up
An enormous weight crushing your heart and shattering your every move
You can't tell up from down
And you wish you would have just stayed in bed
We all have had these days
It could be just one thing that knocks you to your knees
Or many tiny little ones
It becomes a struggle to take that next step forward
But you must
Because you do not know what is on the other side
A new opportunity
Another chance
That ray of sunshine that will brighten everything
Yes, of course I know it could just be something else to knock you down
But you must keep moving forward
Because eventually you will get through
You will come out on the other side
One way or the other
Lean on others when you need support
Reach out
Ask for help
Remember, you aren't in this alone
Keep stepping forward

stay true to your heart

Because now more than ever you must listen to your heart and carve our own path forward.  There are many other voices looking to find their way in.  Stealing your time, trying to push you from where you are going.  But you know what what you want to do.  You know where you want to go.  

Go for it!

Happiness is your priority.  Kindness is something you hold dear.  Love is all that really matters.  Stay true to your values.  Speak up for what you believe in.  Do not let anyone rob you of the goodness that is in your heart.  

Listen to what others are saying, not only their words but their actions.  Understand where they are coming from and do not place any judgment on why you think they are doing what they are doing.  Just show up as you.  With your heart wide open ready to give.  

You will find your way when you stay true to YOU.  Don't give up, even when you get pushed down.  Don't give in, even when others are trying to string you along.  Smile wide.  Invite someone in.  

Be brave.  Be bold.  Be YOU