signs are all around

There are signs of her all around.  They show up in the most unexpected places and make me smile.  Even though she isn't here in person I can feel her everywhere.  She is with me in everything I do.  

She was a collector of feather's.  A believer that they were from heaven.  On the window ledge above her kitchen sink sat a blue jar that I never much paid attention to.  It wasn't until after her passing that I noticed she had placed all of the feathers she had collected inside this jar.  

A few years ago on an adventure together in Brooklyn she opened her heart and shared with me that she collects feathers.  When she was younger her sister had passed and ever since her passing she had said that each time she saw one she knew it was a sign from the other side.  A reminder that she was never alone. 

I never knew this about my mom and it was touching to get this glimpse into her heart.  But even then I didn't pay much attention to the blue jar on the ledge above her sink and let the story of the feathers slip away.  

When my mom was close to the end I walked out of her house and there were feathers scattered on the back lawn.  I went to take a closer look and noticed there were others on the front lawn.  In fact the house was surrounded by feathers and to my surprise there were none to be found next door.  

Was this a sign from heaven? Were they calling her up and letting us know that she would be ok?  

The signs continue to show up and each time they do it warms my heart and makes me smile.  I miss her more than words can describe, but seeing a feather makes me feel a little bit closer to her.  They are a reminder that she is always near.  

That little blue jar still sits on the windows ledge and another feather collector has been created.  Each one he sees he picks up and adds to her.  A reminder that we are all connected.  

the truth of your story

You must tell the truth of your story
Share all of the pieces that make up who you are
You must show yourself to the world
Perfectly imperfect
Exactly as you are
Because you are beautiful
Creating magic wherever you go
Just by being yourself

You must open up your hearts and soul
Allow them to let beauty and goodness to enter
You must not be afraid of what could happen
Stay curious
Live boldly
Soak everything in
Embrace what is before you
Then share it with the world

You must breathe deeply
Letting everything in
The happiness as well as the sadness
Each of these things balancing out the other
Do not be afraid of your tears
Wear them proudly
Do not be afraid to smile
Let others see how deeply you sparkle

You must be true to yourself
Each and every day
Standing strong in who you are
Standing up for what you believe in
Leaning in and pulling others close
Knowing that the world needs to see you
Exacly as you are
Yes, you must tell the truth of your story

be a seeker of your own life

Be the seeker of your own life
Find what moves you
Discover what lights you up
Never give up on your dreams
Constantly be learning
Growing
Reaching
This is your one wild and precious life
It becomes what you make of it
You can create something divine
If you choose to go after it
You can find your own spark
Ignite it with wild passion
Don't ever give up on it
This is your time to shine
This is your time to choose YOU
Yes, you
What do you want
Where do you want to go
What steps can you take right now to get you there
Go ahead
Take them
Continue to seek
Always
For it is in this seeking that you will find your heart
Your soul
Your you

time to take action

No one is going to do it for you.  You must show up, put in the work, and do it yourself.  If you want to make a dream come true then you must be the one to take the steps to achieve it.  

Be your own advocate

Stand up for what you believe.  Use your voice.  Be courageous.  Take action.  You know what you want.  Go after it.  

There is no better time than this moment

Don't wait a minute longer.  You know what you have to do.  Go ahead and do it.  Show up in the face of fear and do it anyway.  Now is your time to expand into your fullest self.  Go ahead and make it happen.  

word of the year

Expand:

1. to increase or grow in extent, size, volume, scope
2. to spread out; unfold; develop
3. to express something more fully or in greater detail

Yes, this is my word for 2017!  

Expand

I have had the ritual of choosing a word of the year since 2009.  My previous words have been:

2016 - Daring Greatly & Gather
2015 - Connection
2014 – Build
2013 – All the Cards on the Table
2012 – Soar
2011 – Love
2010 – Connect
2009 - Wings

It has been incredible to see the way these words manifest themselves.  Usually not the way I thought they would but it turns to be exactly what my heart needed.  

I found my word for 2017 as I stood on the oceans edge.  The warmth of the sun greeting my face, the sound of the waves creating a sacred rhythm inside my heart as I took a deep breath in filling my lungs with the crisp salty airy.  The ocean is wide, deep, expansive.  It takes up the space it needs as it ebbs and flows.  In and out the waves roll with a fierce strong conviction.  The ocean understands it's place in this world and it shows up unapologetically each and every day.  Never is it frozen over or lazy.  The waves continuously roll in and out expanding their reach.  

Expansive, expanding, expand.  To spread out.  To develop.  To reach far and wide.  To allow myself to be seen.  To be heard.  To show up.  Arms wide open.  Heart ready to give and to receive.  Taking risk's.  Going the extra mile.  Reaching out a hand.  Asking for what I really want.  Asking for help when I need it.  Expanding my horizon's.  Being free.  Being strong.  Being fierce.  

Yes!  This is what I am looking to create in 2017.  I want to expand into the fuller, deeper version of myself. I want to show up in the world unapologetically.  Sharing my passions.  Inviting others in.  Doing what I love.  I want to expand!  

And so I am tucking this word deep into my pocket to carry with me for the entire year.  I am holding it close and also giving it space to breath.  I am not sure what doors will open.  What choices I will have to make.  What unknown moments will occur.  But I do know one thing.  I am ready to expand.  Ready to express myself for fully and in greater detail.  The time is now to begin accomplishing my dreams.  No reason to wait any longer and so I am off.  Taking the reins of 2017 and carving my own path.  

Do you choose a word for the year?  I would love to hear what it is.  Let me know in the comments and together let's celebrate the all the potential that this year holds.  

securing the foundation

And so it goes.  I keep coming here.  To this space where everything feels familiar, yet everything has changed.  I have been navigating my own way.  I have thought I have made progress.  But here I stand, right back in this same spot.  My eyes tired, my skin pale.  Have I learned anything from my journey?  Have I grown at all?  It feels as if I am swirling without making any steps forward.  

There is much in my heart that wants to come alive.  Stories to be told. Places to travel to.  Dreams to be reached.  Yet here I am, standing on rocky ground.  I know that I must fix my own foundation.  I must sure myself up before taking any steps forward.  I need to know that I am grounded and then I can take steps to fly. 

And so I am going inward.  Choosing to be present, fully present with all the feelings.  I am examining the damage and figuring out which steps to take next.  I am not rushing through the process as I normally do but rather excavating my way around.  I will crawl my way out.  I will rise again.  And when I do I will be stronger, wiser, and ready for life's unsuspecting glory.