missing you

Last night you visited me in my dreams and it was as if you never left
A brilliant smile shining from your face
Love surrounding you
You blew out the candles on your cake
And the room erupted with cheers
Your eyes were glowing
You were radiating happiness
As I awoke I could still feel your embrace
And smell the scent of your skin
This dream has stayed with me all day
Even though you are gone you remain in my heart
There will always be a piece of me dedicated directly to you
I am so grateful to have had so much time with you
And cherish the memories deeply
You created a legacy my dear
And will forever be remembered
 

world shifted

And just like that life changed
The world shifted
What was once known and understood
Became a vast expanse filled with questions
Nothing making sense
Everything looking different
A new path to navigate
A terrifying feeling of not knowing how
The ebb and flow of life
Numbing your heart
And forever keeping you on your toes
 

when you knew me

You knew me when I was afraid of the world
Clinging onto you like a life raft
I held on tightly because I had no idea how to swim
Unsure of my own self
Floundering on my own two feet
I did not know which way to go
Or even how to begin to take that first step
You saw me in my darkest moments
Scenes I wish not to repeat
We stood alongside one another for as long as we could
And then we both knew we had to part ways
Even though I struggled to say that final goodbye
I needed to discover who I am in this world
And you needed to fly
There are times that I wonder what it would be like if you saw me now
Would you recognize the women in front of you
No longer timid and afraid, but firmly standing on her own two feet
I know we will never have another conversation
Our worlds are to far apart from one another
But the memories of our times together are held deeply in my heart
The good and the not so beautiful
You held me when I needed desperately to be held
Sheltering me from the world
Giving me time to pull myself together
And you pushed me when you knew I was ready
You weren't there to watch me fly
But it was you who helped me find the initial courage to try

unearth your road

There may be moments when you veer off track
Or feel the road isn't even there anymore
Unsure of your next step
Plant your feet firmly on the ground
Stand deep in your stillness
Listen the sound of your own voice
Feel your heart beating
You know what you need
Take time enough to listen
Slow down, be fully present
You can unearth your own road
You can find your way again
Slow down
Figure out where you really want to go
Be gentle with yourself
And you will see that the answer live within you

finding the courage

Because it is not always going to be easy
There will be days when it is really, really hard
You will feel like you are standing on an island 
And cannot do one single thing right
Your feet glued to the floor
Immobility taking hold
Unsure if you can even take that next step forward
But somehow you do
You aren't even sure what will happen
But you know you must try
Even if you are the only one showing up
You know you must be there
Going through the motions
Working out the kinks
Figuring it all out, one step at a time
This is what courage looks like
Your insides twisting
Vulnerability hanging over your head
Unsure, uneasy
But learning and growing along the way
You may want to throw yourself a pity party
And sometimes we have to
But do not stand in your own puddle for to long
Step out, reach a little higher
Continue your journey on
It will take time, but you will see how much you have grown
You will be proud of your courage
And you will risk again

i . . .

I
. . .  find peace in putting my words on paper
. . .  build tiny alters to remind me of where I have been, and where I want to go
. . .  go to the ocean to find myself again, and again, and again
. . .  take time to listen to the sound of my own voice
. . . believe there is power in love
. . . am afraid, but do it anyway
. . . dream of a seaside gathering filled with connection, laughter, and love
. . .  know the importance of taking time to share gratitude and thanks
. . . feel the pull in my heart to follow my dreams

and you?