my wish for you

What I wish for you is
Peace of mind
The ability to see that you are enough, exactly as you are
You are the creator of the next step you are going to take

Where will you go?
What will you do?
Who will you invite along for the ride?

I wish you saw yourself the way I see you
Confidante
Strong
Radiating a brilliant light
I see the inner strength that you don’t even realize is there

Yes, you will fall
You will stumble
You may even cry a river of tears

But you will find your footing
You will navigate your own path forward
The path that only you know is there because it is meant for you

Trust where you are going
Trust your dreams and your own intuition
Don’t worry about what others think
Listen closely to those whispers in your heart
And leap into your destiny

I shared these words in yesterday’s virtual New Moon Class. I am so grateful that even though we cannot gather in person that Tara and I have continued hosting this online. The New Moon is all about setting intentions for your path forward. It is about honing in and getting clear.

In this unsteady environment, it is hard to know what the future holds but it is important to not stop dreaming. Dreaming is essential. It allows your mind space to wander free. It gives you permission to go beyond what is in front of you and think of what may be possible for you.

I encourage you to keep on dreaming.
Keep showing up.
Keep shining your light.
Because the world needs the light you shine.

Let’s Gather Together

I invite you to join me in this virtual circle. Where you can show up exactly as you are. Yes, your hair can be a mess (mine always is). Yes, you can be in your pj’s and even snuggled up in your bed. Yes, you can sign up the moment before class begins.

What matters most is you knowing that you aren’t alone. There is a community just waiting to sit with you. No prior experience in anything is needed to attend any of these virtual gatherings. Arrive as you are.

Check out the calendar below to see what is coming up and click on a particular event to register. Note that all times are in EST and all classes take place on Zoom.

---

Join me over on Instagram @jbelthoff

Gallery Block

This is an example. To display your Instagram posts, double-click here to add an account or select an existing connected account. Learn more

postcards from the moment

Around here things are hard. There are moments when I fall to my knees sobbing. Totally unsure what the future will look like. Heartbroken that my Dad has to be alone. Afraid to go to the supermarket. Avoiding any potential closeness to humans on my daily run.

It is a strange world we are navigating and I know I am not always handling it with grace. But that is ok. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to sit in the fear. It’s ok to not know what the future will hold.

But with that darkness, there is still always light if you are willing to look for it. Moments of complete and utter joy. Laughter and silliness. Kindness and compassion.

Around here I have been seeking out these moments. Going for walks around the block. Facetiming with my nieces and nephews. Hosting weekly cousin game nights.

There is also showing up to the mat. Zoom Community gatherings. Carving out time to just sit and be quiet. Pushing myself out the door for fresh air even when I am reluctant to do so.

It is important to seek out the light, especially when you do not feel like it. It is going to be hard to do, but once you find it a small space will open up in your heart. You will begin to notice other things that were there before. You find your way back to yourself again.

In the darkness I invite you to find time to play. To let loose, shake things up. Turn to something you may not have tried before. Act like a child again.

With things being so hard I wasn’t sure if I would be able to find my inner spark. But once I broke out the sidewalk chalk and started drawing a smile formed on my face and joy began to beat inside my heart. It was one small moment of my day, but filed me up in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

---

Let’s Gather Together

Looking to be in Community during this isolation. Join me this week for two free classes.

Monday, 4/6 @ 8:30 pm EST

Join me for some writing together.  I will provide prompts to get you started and an opportunity to share, if you want.

Thursday, 4/9 @ 8:30 pm EST

Let's play with paper, markers and glue.  Through cutting and pasting along with writing let’s have some fun.

finding the trial markers

One foot in front of the other as I follow the yellow trail. Up the mountain, around the lake, and back down. This has become one of my favorite places to walk. It is a good balance between climbing and flat terrain with the added bonus of being near the lake.

One foot in front of the other. The worry, the fear, the feelings of not being good enough slowly begin to melt away with each step. I do not need to know where I am going. I just need to keep an eye out for the trail markers as I continue moving forward.

My body falls into a comfortable rhythm. The sound of the dirt and leaves crunching below me calms my heart. It is just me and the trees. There is no where else I need to be. I can take my time here.

For the past four months I have been unearthing unknown ground. Being unemployed has shifted me and pushed me up to my edges. I feel uncertain about the future. It is hard to commit to plans because I do not know where I will end up. What I will be doing? What will my time commitment be? It all feels uncertain.

As I follow the yellow trail I wish that there were trail markers for this unknown journey. Something lighting the way and showing me where to go. People tell me to embrace the unknown and yes it is an exciting time but it is also a scary place to be.

There have been times it has filled me with doubt. Wondering if I am good enough. Wondering if someone will ever want to hire me. Wondering what it is I really am meant to do. Many times in the past four months I have pulled the Angel card that speaks about “service”. It continues to remind me to show up and serve others and everything else will work out.

I want to carve my own trail. Leave the markers that light the way for others. Be a guide during there toughest times and place that they can come to rest and heal. But what does that really look like? How do I create that trail?

Just like anything else in life it is one step at a time. One small micro movement which brings you closer to unearthing life’s biggest plan. Right now for me that next step is to find a space to host a retreat. It has been a dream that has lived and breathed in my heart for so long and it is time for me to stop playing small and start playing BIG!

And even there are no trail markers guiding my way I know that I can blaze my own path and create a trail that others can walk with me on. And so I begin.

Let's Work Together

Previous Blog Post

the importance of community

I have learned that we aren't meant to travel this journey by ourselves.  When we come together we can do so much more than we ever can on our own.  

There is magic in community.  
There is magic in gathering.  
There is magic in opening up your heart and sharing it.  

I am an introvert.  When I step into a group I struggle.  I seek out the back of the room so I can quietly observe.  I soak it all in from a distance but always leave wishing I had gotten a little bit closer.  I long to dive in deep but struggle to do so.  

I have learned that I must step forward.  I do not need to wait for an invitation to find my way into the circle. I just need to drop my insecurities and step in.  It is not an easy thing to do, but it is so rewarding when I do it.  

It is connection that pushes me to dive a little bit deeper.  
It is connection that expands my horizon.  
It is connection that helps me grow.

But connection only happens when I let down my guard and step into the circle.  I have to be willing to not only listen, but to also share my own stories of heartbreak and triumph.  I have to not only reach out, but also reach in.  I have to be able to not only catch others stories but also be vulnerable enough to share my own.

I learned how deeply I longed for connection when I attended my first art retreat.  Quite and shy I found a way to blend into the background, yet I left there broken open.  I knew that I could no longer live closed off.  I had to reach out and invite others in.  I had to show up to the table.  

I have found my most meaningful connections unearth when I am surrounded by people who have similar interest as I do.  It is in these spaces that it is easier to dive in deep and share my heart.  I feel a sense of trust and connection because we have that common bond between us.  

The vastness of the internet makes it easy for us to stay in touch, but there is still something beautiful and magical about gathering together in person.  Looking into each others eyes, reaching out and holding hands, being together in the same room.  This is a precious gift.

Being an introvert I can allow long amounts of time to pass by without reaching out to gather.  It feels like work sometimes to make the effort.  But once I am with my people it all feels right and I never regret stepping into the circle.  

This year I am committing to spending more time with others.  To stepping out of my comfort zone and inviting my kindred's in.  I want to break down the wall I have built up and connect deeply.  I know the only way this will manifest is if I show up and share pieces of my heart with others.  

So I invite you to gather with me.  To show up as you are and share a piece of your heart.  I promise to be sharing a piece of mine as well.  Let's spend an afternoon of creative connection together.  If this sounds even a little bit intriguing to you click below to sign up to receive the invitation.  I hope that you will join me.  It would be wonderful to meet face to face.  

circle with me

What if we gathered
What if you and I were sitting in a circle with others
Talking about our hearts deepest longings and desires
What if we didn't hold back
What if the walls of our hearts came down
And we let it all spill out

Would you feel comfortable enough to open up
Would you trust the circle with your heart
Would you say yes to being together
Are you willing to hold the hearts of others
Do you have it in you to listen deeply
And the ability to hold space for others
This is what circling is all about

I dream of a circle
A soul circle of sorts
Where we gather together
Spill open
Let our hearts unwind and unearth what is below the surface
A circle of trust, love and understanding
A circle of hope
One that truly listens deeply

Will you join me in this circle
Will you gather with me
Hold a strangers hands, offer up a hug
Are you open to sharing your story
Will you spill your heart wide open
Do you believe in trust, friendship, and kinship
Together we can make more magic happen than we can alone
It begins in circle, deep in the soul circle