showing up

As I lay on my yoga mat before class begins the quietness envelopes me. This space is my sacred home. Where I can show up exactly as I am. I do not need to say a word to anyone.  I can quietly walk in, lay down on my mat and be right where I am. There are moments during my practice that I close my eyes and sink deeper into the movement.  I do not worry about what the person next to me is doing, I move the rhythm of my own breathing.  My mat is my sacred space. 

One of my most favorite things about yoga is there is no judgement.  You can show up and simply choose to lay on your mat and breathe, and that is ok.  You move your body the way it moves.  You can as far as you want, as far as you can go.  There is no expectation to look like anyone else.  Your practice is yours alone and it is called a practice for a reason. 

I choose to show up on my mat.  There are days my body doesn't want to move.  Moments when the pose feels to hard or my mind just isn't in the game.  But then their are those magical days when all the stars are are aligned and I move with grace and ease. Stepping into the room I never know how I will adjust and settle in.  But one thing I know for certain is that I must show up.  

I try to transfer this feeling of just showing up into my every day life. Just being as I am with no expectations.  It is not alway any easy thing to do.  But when I lose my way I remind myself to slow down and just breathe.  

winter bliss yoga retreat

I took a leap and gathered with a group of women I have never met before for an entire weekend of yoga bliss.  I have always been attracted to yoga and have bounced around to different classes in the area but I never stuck with it until Dustin nudged me to join the local gym.  The gym we joined offers many different classes including yoga.  

When I started training for the marathon I found the perfect accompaniment to my weekend long runs; a yin yoga meditation class.  I had never tried meditation before and I was way out of practice with my yoga but I went to the class anyway and I was instantly hooked.  The teacher, Sarah is AMAZING.  She has this beautiful energy and the words she speaks during class go directly to my heart.  

When Sarah asked me if I would be interested in the retreat I immediately said YES!  I felt a calling in my heart that I couldn't ignore.   Even though there are many times that I get lost in Yoga class a weekend of slowing down and showing up on the mat felt like something I needed to do for myself.  

It can be hard sometimes to follow our hearts and say yes to the moments that will nourish us.  However it is deeply essential to take the time to do these things.  We become better people for it, and in turn are able to be better people to those we love.  

We began the retreat with a two hour yoga session that was amazing!  I have never done yoga for two hours and the time flew.  My body stretched.  My mind let go.  I dropped the fear that I was carrying with me that I would look like a fool because I had no idea what I was doing and I was encouraged to do whatever felt right for my body.  What an incredible life lesson, to listen to the sound of your own voice and body and do what feels right.  

The retreat space was filled with lots of windows, incredible light, and a spectacular view of the mountains.  We ate the most nourishing, delicious meals that were made with so much love.  Sarah carved out intentional spaces of silence which I deeply appreciated.  It was wonderful to have the silent time because it let go of any need to feel like I had to come up with conversation and allowed me the time to really process what was going on.  I was also able to get some amazing writing done.  It was fabulous.  

We took time to create vision boards and burn what didn't serve us. My dream of bringing women together emerged on my board.  It felt so satisfying and real to share this dream with the group.  Even though I am not sure exactly the way it will look I know that is the direction I am meant to be traveling in.  

From the "Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards" I pulled:

• Past - Bodies of water
• Present - Infinite Supply
• Future - The Arts

These cards felt so true and timely to where I am on my journey and where I want to go.  

On Saturday night in front of the fire we had a group Reiki session.  During my time I immediately felt a rush of energy leave my body.  It was fierce.  After the session while in different yoga poses I felt my hands getting pulled deeply into the ground.  There were moments when I had to wiggle my fingers just to ensure that my hands were still there.  

I didn't sleep well that night and woke up with a terrible headache.  I wasn't sure I would be able to participate in the morning yoga but showed up and am so glad I did. With each pose energy was brought back into my body.  I began to feel better and better.  

Oh it was a divine weekend!  I am so grateful I took the leap to go and look forward to deepening my yoga practice.  I am buzzing with inspiration and positive energy.  I feel so good.  

Sarah is offering another retreat in June and I couldn't recommend it enough.  If you are in the NJ / NY area check our her Spring Bliss Yoga Retreat.   Sarah has a beautiful way of teaching and makes you feel right at home.  She encourages you to listen to your own body and she is so in tune to the collective energy of everyone in the room.  Go ahead, take the leap.  You won't regret it.  

yoga

It has been awhile since I have shown up on the Yoga Mat
Running has consumed my time
And I haven't carved out any space for anything else
But tonight I pushed myself to slow down
To show up and release what no longer served me

My shoulders were heavy
My body tight
My mind racing
Some of the poses we held felt like an eternity
I struggled to be in the moment and concentrate on my breathing

With each pose and reach I felt my body lengthening
The stress in my shoulders released
My mind was clearing
I felt taller, and stronger 
Even if my legs were shaking

I surrendered to the moment and I let go
I saw things from a different perspective
I regained confidence in myself
And reaffirmed what I already know, that I can do what I put my mind to
As long as I show up

What I love about Yoga is your ability to go at your own pace
To listen to your body and do what it needs in that moment
There is no judgment from others
Just a silent knowing that we are each doing what we need
And we got through the hard part, we all showed up

I leaned into the discomfort
I breathed in deeply and stood on the edge
I pushed through and practiced
Time and time again
I made it through and I am better for it

I can feel in my body that I need this
The stretching, the quiet, the releasing
I carry around so much with me each day
It is a beautiful thing to slow down 
To surrender and to listen