asking for help

I want you to know that you don’t have to do it all on your own.  

The dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping.  There is a lot that you do to keep your world spinning smoothly.  Cleaning out the garage, wiping down the counter, remembering to take out the trash.  The list feels never-ending. There is also getting everyone where they need to be. Planning for the next troop meeting.  And trying to lift that side hustle off the ground that you are so passionate about.

I see you over there in your corner of the world.  I see how hard you work. How much you show up. How you make so many things happen and most of it occurs behind the scenes.  You give and you give and you give, never really expecting much in return.  

You are a freakin ROCKSTAR.  

But here’s the thing.  I know that the weight of the world feels like it is on your shoulders.  You are carrying all of it and picking up more boulders along the way. But you don’t have to be doing that.  You don’t have to carry it all alone. It’s ok to let the dust and laundry pile up. It’s ok to take a break. It’s ok to ask for help.  

I know it’s hard.  Hard to reach out. Hard to let go.  Hard to give someone there own time to do something that you would have done in half the time.  

But all that responsibility isn’t yours alone.  There are people who will help if you ask. Some will do so willingly others may take a little more coaxing.  And there are others who can do what you are trying to do even better. Let them jump in. Let them help. Together we can do more.  You don’t have to do it all alone. 

You deserve to fill your tank.  You deserve to rest. To ease in.  To simply just be. You deserve to see how things can go beyond what you ever thought they could be when you have the right people in place doing their part.  

We need each other.  We need to reach out and to lean in.  Go ahead, take that first step today in asking for help and easing some of the weight you are carrying.  

What is one thing you can take off your plate today and ask someone to help out with? Share in the comments so that we can all cheer you on.

Let’s be friends on Instagram @jbelthoff

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seek out joy

In the tiny pockets of time when you are doing something ordinary, there is joy lingering right below the surface. You may not notice it as you move through your routines of life, but it is there waiting to be discovered. It wants to be acknowledged. It wants you to sink into its goodness and feel all the feels.

It is there with you when you wash the dishes, put away the groceries and make your to-do list.  It walks beside you as you feel the crunch of the leaves beneath your feet, see the light of the sun peeking between the trees, and hear the sound of the birds chirping.  And it doesn’t leave when you make your bed, fold the laundry, and bring your love a glass of water.  

It is right there waiting for you.  Inviting you in. Hoping you seek it out. 

Joy is a choice.  One that isn’t always easy to make,  I know that there are times we fall down the ‘whoa is me’ rabbit hole and it feels impossible to climb out.  I have been in that bunker many times, sinking into feelings of sadness and despair and inviting others to join in my misery.  It’s an easy road to navigate.

“Happiness is simple. Everything we do to find it is complicated.”

— Karen Mazen Miller

But here’s the thing.  Unearthing joy doesn’t have to be as hard as we think.  It is there, waiting for us. We just need to slow down long enough to be able to recognize and appreciate it.  

The feeling of the blanket on your skin in the morning. The smell of a fresh cup of coffee.  The way the stars twinkle in the sky. The warmth of the sun on your face. The sound of laughter.  

Notice, simply notice these little moments and sink into how they make you feel.  Do they bring a smile to your face, fill you up with a sense of wonder, calm your racing nerves?  If it’s even for a brief moment, that is something.  

Don’t let the joy slip away without giving thanks for its arrival.  Show gratitude for everything that opens your heart up. What you notice and appreciate you invite more of into your life.  

Choose to invite in more goodness! 

What do you want more of? How do you want to feel? Share below in the comments so that you can set the energy of your intention into motion.

share your truth

I stand in the shadows of my own disappointment wondering if I will ever be able to pull myself out of this sorrow.  My inner critic is on a roll and has an awful lot to say. About how I am not good enough. And who do I think I am anyway to try to make such a big thing happen.  She is relentless and won’t stop. Has this ever happened to you?  

All of her words are washing over me, penetrating my heart and tearing me down.  It is painful to stand in this darkness. I want to curl up and hide. I don’t want anyone to see me wallowing.  But I know that I can’t stay in the dark forever. I need to emerge from the shadows even if that means my scars will be seen. 

And so I step out into the light.  Eyes squinting, unsure of where I am.  It takes a lot for me to share this pain. To show up with my heart on my sleeve.  To allow others to see my failure. Even though I don’t want to, I know that it must be done.  I cannot hide in my bunker forever. 

I reach out, looking for a friendly face. I share my pain.  Share my heartache. Share my disappointment. In this sharing, something beyond expectation happens.  People lean in. Hold my hand. And even walk the path with me. They show me the way when I don’t know which way to go.  They remind me that I am never alone.    

I didn’t want anyone to know that I fell flat on my face.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I failed. But here’s the thing, we don’t always make it to the top of the mountain.  Sometimes we stumble. Sometimes we fall. It is all a part of living. And all of it matters, not just the pretty perfect pieces but the messy ones as well.  

And so I encourage you to not hide your pain.  Don’t stand alone in your shadows. Others may not have walked through what you have, but they have navigated their own struggles.  They know what it feels like to not feel good enough. They know what it feels to fall down and have to peel themselves off the floor.  

I would still be standing in my own darkness, feeling like I wasn’t good enough had I not reached out.  It is in opening our hearts and sharing our experiences that we connect. Being vulnerable. Not always having to appear perfect.  We need to share our raw, honest self. Even when it isn’t pretty.  

I am grateful that I didn’t stay hidden.  Grateful that I had the courage to share my truth.  I am coming out on the other side with so much tucked inside my heart.  I stand a little bit taller than before. Yes, I am not where I want to be.  But I am here, surrounded by love. I took a chance. I tried. And I am better for it.  I have found a new pair of wings to help me fly and only one question remains.

What will I do with my new found wings?

3 things you need to know about self-care

Looking for a way to show yourself some self-care? Join me at the Soul Circle Retreat!

Do you crave connection with like-minded souls?  
As human beings, we need moments to connect and help us grow into who we are meant to be. Retreat is a beautiful and sacred way to cultivate this.  It provides an opportunity to disconnect from the hustle and reconnect to your great big beautiful heart!

Choose to do something for yourself and join me by the sea! The ocean is an amazing place to detoxify your soul.

October 2nd-6th in New Jersey!