daily life

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My daily life doesn't consist of sitting at the end of the dock
Feet dangling in the water
Favorite book in my hand
Listening to the sound of giggles and brave souls jumping in 

My daily life doesn't consist of a cabin full of goodness
Late night conversations with deep belly laughter
Tangled yarn balls
A puzzle collectively put together

Nope, that doesn't happen every day

My daily life doesn't consist of knitted surprises
Birds in car seats
Delicious food I don't have to prepare
A room full of women cheering each other on

My daily life doesn't consist of the option to do nothing
Rest, rejuvenation, the ability to listen closely
A chance to learn or a moment to be
Never a judgment on what you decide

Nope, that doesn't happen every day either

My daily life consist of showing up
For work, the laundry, my loved ones
The list goes on and on
With always a new task to add

My daily life consist of savoring the sweet times
Squeezing in moments to do what pleases me
Finding myself, over and over again
And leaning on the friendships I have cultivated along the way

My daily life consist of carving out time for running
Sending snail mail
Snuggling up close
Dreaming, being, becoming

Yup, my daily life may look messy
It isn't always rainbows and butterflies
There are slips ups, and wishes that haven't come true
A balancing act of sorts

But this life is mine and each day I get to create it
I choose what I do, how I react, and where I want to go to next
I can say yes or no
I hold the opportunities in my hand

I am grateful for this daily life
Of ups and downs, laughter and tears
Grateful for my loved ones
And the chance to always begin again
 

filled with gratitude

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This weekend my heart has been filled up with gratitude and amazement.  I hosted a fundraiser for the team I am running the NYC Marathon with -- Fred's Team for Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital.  Without the help and support of my friends and family this event would not have been possible.  My Father and Brother planned the games.  My Mom and Aunt prepared the food.  My other Brother manned the grill.  Other aunts and my cousin brought food.  And Another Aunt opened the doors to her house and let us use her backyard for the games.  Friends and family showed up and we had a fantastic game day!  

It takes a community to do great things
It takes asking for help, and accepting the help that others want to give
It takes reaching out, putting it out there, and showing up

We are not meant to travel alone.  Friends and family are always there to lend a hand.  Cheer you on.  And support you in whatever it is you choose to do.  It is a blessing.  This weekend I experienced so much love and support first hand.  My heart is overflowing with gratitude!  

The day following the fundraiser I woke up ready to run 20 miles.  It was the first time I was attempting this distance and I was filled with so much gratitude to carry me through.  As I placed one foot in front of the other I though of all the people who have donated to me.  I pictured my family and friends cheering me on the day of the marathon.  Tears filled my eyes and gratitude poured from my heart.  I became lost in my thoughts and the miles passed by.  

20 miles!  When I first started running I could barely run 3 miles and here I was attempting 20.....and I did it.  I finished 20 miles in 3 hours and 20 mins and I was elated.  It is amazing what one can do when they put there mind to it and show up day after day after day.  I have been showing up.  Doing the hard work.  And today it all paid off.  I finished 20 miles.  

I am so proud of myself and so grateful for my family and friends. Life is short and precious.  Being surrounded by such an amazing group of individuals makes it that much sweeter.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has cheered, donated, sent good thoughts, and has helped me out along the way as I venture towards 26.2.  Without everyone I would never make it across that finish line.  It takes a community, yes it does!  

walk your own path

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Between the hello's and goodbyes there is a story tucked away
One that is rarely spoken of
It is filled with accountability
Figuring it all out on your own
And realizing that the only one to blame for the way your story is written is yourself
You have the power to change it
You can begin again, forgive, let go, and find your own way home
You do not need to be lost in the woods forever
There is a path that you can carve
It will be your journey
The one you create for you
All you need to do is follow your heart
Let go of the stories you have been telling yourself
And see that you are in the driver seat
What she said, the way he acted, what happened so many years ago
All of that is a part of you, but it does not define you
What defines you is the choices you make
The path you take
The way you choose to live your life each and every day
Remember to treat others the way you want to be treated
Remember that we all aren't perfect.  Each of us has our own faults.  Our own crutches that we are using to help ourselves stand.
You may not agree, but you need to know that what they choose to do isn't who you are
You are strong
You can overcome the choices that have brought you down
Today is as good a day as any to begin again
Will you walk your own path
Or continue to follow the shadows

and the day came

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And the day came when you knew you could no longer play it safe
You had to live out loud
Chase your dreams at full force
And just do it

And the day came when you knew standing still wasn't an option
You had to pick up your feet and run
Even if you didn't know how
You had to trust

And the day came when you said yes
Even when your shy self wanted to slowly slink away
You held your head high
And jumped right in

And the day came when the world opened its arms
It had always been waiting for you
And now it saw that you were ready
It scooped you in gentle and nudged you forward

And the day came when it was no longer a dream
But life, yes your life
You made it happen
You followed your heart

And the day came when you could finally see it
The long journey
The tears, the struggles, the laughter, the love
And the goodness...oh the goodness that now engulfed you

And the day came when you knew you could keep on going
Living this dream that is now your life
Open, free, beautiful
The one you created, yes you

virtual dock

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begin where i am

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There are these things I want to do less of
Like spending time on social media
Devouring sugar
Eating gluten filled foods
And even savoring an alcoholic beverage

I know my consumption is not out of control
But I want to step back
Be more intentional
Choose differently
And make the choice that I know I am craving

What’s funny is since I have made this conscious decision
All I want to do is each of these things
On my mind at work is getting reese’s pieces from the vending machine
At home I want to end the day with a glass of wine
And I can’t say no to having a sandwich for dinner

Before making this choice
I never gave much thought to each of these things
But upon deciding to do less
I just want to do it more
What causes this emotional mind game

These internal restrictions are weighing me down
I feel backed into a corner
When the intention was to be free
I want to say no
But all I can say is yes

How do I find my balance
What do I need to do to make my mind strong enough
Is there a way to navigate this terrain with ease
I know they say it takes two weeks to get it out of your system
Will I ever make it through those two weeks

I get so close to staying on track and then I falter
I am learning that I need to be gentle with myself
There will be slip ups
But that doesn’t mean I am totally off track
I just need to get back up and begin where I am