picking up the pace

It was that smile that got me as I passed you
We have spent hours talking about running
And as you looked at me I felt so vulnerable

Coming around the corner my legs did not want to continue
I had put in three miles and said to myself I was going to make it four
I was tired, but was not about to give up

I had no idea I would be crossing your path
As I rounded the corner, there you were
And I knew you were silently cheering me on as you waved

I reached for a little courage to push myself
Pick up the pace
And keep on going, faster than I thought I could

As I finished out my run your voice and smile kept me company
In my head I heard your cheers
Taking one step after the other, hoping to make you proud

After, you said I looked like a runner
Good pace, good stride, good cadence
My heart swelled with gratitude

You don't know this, but our conversations inspire me
They push me, and make me want to do better
When I am alone on the road your words play in my head

It was great to see you out there
In the past I never would have taken that road
To afraid to be seen

But there I was today, not only seen
But showing up, pushing myself,
And running my fastest pace yet

leaning in

When you come to me with your silent way of knowing
I surrender
Letting go into you, I know that I am safe
I shed the armor I have been carrying around
As you help me remove it
With the weight gone, I stand a little bit taller
Lean in a little bit closer
Arms open, heart set free
We are both unsure of the path we will soon be traveling
But we trust in the adventure
We lean into the unknowing
We hold each others hand
And take that next step forward, together

 

ignite the spark

he inspires me by sending little notes like this before my big moment

What a strange week this has been.  Not sure if it was the moon affecting me, but I was off kilter.  Did you feel it to?  In trying to balance the swirling emotions I sought out some inspiration.

This book has me saying yes and shaking my head in agreement over and over again.  

It reminded me of this TED talk which I have watched many, many times.  

If you never failed, you never lived.  

On another note, this didn't inspire me this week - - - but it made me laugh and also terrified me.  Could you imagine?

Wishing you a weekend filled with delight and wonder.

silent knowing

Dear {You}

We have never spoken a word to one another.  As I set off on my daily lunch time runs, you are there, every day in your car.  Windows rolled down, soaking in your lunchtime with a cigarette.  We never make eye contact, but I feel your presence and your silent cheers.  

The other day we passed one another in the hallway and had a silent look of knowing.  I felt as if you understood my dedication.  Were proud of me for showing up day after day.  And when I run past you, I always push myself a little bit harder.  

You are there when I leave.  And there when I return.  I am tired at the end, but when I see you sitting in your car I want to run as fast as I can.  

We may never know each others name, but I feel we have a mutual respect for one another.  You crave silence on you lunch hour.  Sitting in your car, windows rolled down, enjoying every puff of your cigarette.  

I take to the road alone.  Me and my music.  One foot in front of the other.  

We do not speak, but together we enjoy the silent company of the sky.  

Thank you for being there, even though you aren't even there for me.  I enjoy your company, even though we have never spoke a single word.  Thank you for pushing me further than I thought I could ever go.  And thank you for showing up day after day.  

One day I will tell you why I show up.  And I will soak in your story of silent comfort.  But until then we will meet, day after day in silence.  

xo
Jennifer

love letter

There are so many things I want to tell you
But as the door opens, I am off to work
And when I come home you have already gone
But each moment that I sit here I think of you
My heart filled with gratitude
Love overflowing

I am grateful for your kindness
I am grateful for your love
I am grateful for your patience and your cheers

You let me be me
Even when I am quiet and reserved
You hold my hand
Shine a light on my dreams
And encourage me to go for it

I feel at home with you
It is a feeling like no other
I have never felt more me, than when I am with you

I know our schedules are busy
Our moments are fleeting
But with each day we are building our life, together

For it is you I want to always stand next to
You make me laugh, even if in the moment I want to cry
You bring so much happiness to my life
And remind me of how precious each day is

I love you
Am grateful to grow old with you
I love the memories we have created
The adventures we have taken
And the life we are building

Thank you for you

nana you are always in my heart

It was a year ago that we lost her, but it feels like yesterday
No matter how much time passes she will forever live in our hearts 
And be present in the way we live our day to day life

She had the most incredible amount of patience
Raising eleven kids I never once remember hearing her raise her voice
She was kind and loving

She inspected me for chicken poxs
And gave me the soft chocolate chip cookies,
The kind my mom would never buy

She always, always had a smile on her face
Never spoke a bad word about anyone
And made you feel like the most important person in the room

She listened, really listened
Was so proud of her family
And soaked in the love that always swirled around

She was the glue that held the family together
And even though she isn't here in person
She still holds us together

She would do anything for you
Fight off a kidnapper
And put a bandaid on your scrap

She always reminded you of what was really important in life
Family
Her family was everything to her

She may be gone, but I see her around me
In the way my aunts and uncles interact
In the kind and caring way my brothers are with their own children

She is always there
Reminding me to be kind, 
And to treat people with respect, always

Even in her passing our family has stayed strong
We may have our differences
But we are always there for one another, always

It is amazing to see so many people come together
Holidays are filled with happiness
And even day to day we are reaching out to one another

Nana created a legacy
She is loved, respected, and will never be forgotten
She has made the Belthoff name one to be proud of

We all miss her smile every day
But hold her closely in our hearts
Nana, was and always will be my hero