ready to stand

Between the darkness there is light
I may stumble, and I will fall, but I have learned how to get back up
The words they speak are harsh
They stab deep into the heart
But I am navigating my own path
Each day I carve a piece of it, guiding me closer to my hearts desire
I am finding my inner light
And I no longer fear letting it shine
I am constantly seeking, searching, and never giving up
I will find my way
My voice will be heard
I will clear the path and shed light on a new way of thinking
To grow we must evolve and stand in that uncomfortable place
I am ready to stand

beginning again

I started the year off on the right foot.  I was putting things in order.  Planning the year ahead.  Packing for our move.  Getting ready to build a beautiful future.  

And then I went away for the weekend.  

Who ever thought that two nights far from home would throw my world upside down.  I arrived back exhausted.  Unsure of where to begin.  Spending long hours on the couch in and out of sleep.  I have been unable to find the energy to begin again.  

This upcoming weekend is jam packed.  I am need of downtime and don't see any space for it in the near future.   In 24 days we will be moving down the block into our love nest as our dream home is built.  Things will be in flux.  Pieces of our life will be packed away and others will be scattered about.  

I need to hit the reset button.  Start again.  Put my right foot in front of my left and keep moving.  I need to get back the energy I lost and find my path again.  The only way to do this is to get up off the couch and start.  So today I will do just that.  

The Christmas tree is still up.  The ornaments taunting me as I know they need to be packed away.  Maybe I will begin there.  One step at a time.  One foot in front of the other.  Beginning again, and again.  

your story is a gift

There is a great power in your story when you choose to share it with someone.  It take guts and courage.  And most likely it will be hard to get through. But it will heal your heart.  And in sharing your story others will feel less alone.  Knowing that others have traversed a similiar journey makes traveling the hard roads a little bit easier.  

We all struggle along the way, stumbling and falling, losing our balance.  The stories of others help to guide us home. They give us strength to go on because we see that it is possible to make it.  They provide inspiration, even when we are filled with doubt and deeply discouraged.  

Your story, YES!  YOUR STORY could heal someones heart.  

It could provide comfort, wisdom, and strength when they need it most.  

Now I know that telling the dark stories is hard, oh my goodness it is hard.  But these are the stories that we need to tend to.  They deserve kindness, reflection, and letting go.  In the telling of these stories we are able to give ourselves permission to forgive.  Forgive ourselves.  Forgive the decisions we have made.  Forgive those who hurt us.  

It is in the telling that we shed the thick layer of skin that we have built up over the years.  We thought it would protect us, but it has only created a barrier between the hurt and the path to  finding our joy.  In the telling of our story we are able to let go and start fresh.  

Story is a gift.  

It is an open path that we can choose to transform the ending.  Sure what has happened, has happened.  But we can rewrite the ending by choosing how we are going to hold the story going forward.  

Share your story.  Choose your ending.  Release the pain and step boldly onto your fresh new path.    

through trust and love

When I am lost he guides me home
When he freaks out I calm his fears
He stands besides me holding my hand
And I remind him that everything will work out

It is a beautiful rhythm we have developed
Through open communication, honesty
And a mutual respect for one another
We have learned the ebb and flow of each other

We blend together
And also navigate our own paths
We take risks and dream big
We share our hearts and our world

It is a life of love
That fills both of our souls
It is a reminder of what is possible
When we trust one another

It is love, pure love

journey to healthy living

Him and I are walking this path together.  Side by side living the moments, embracing life, and chasing after our dreams.  When we are afraid we reach out and hold hands.  We talk from the heart and listen with care and kindness.  He knows how to make me giggle and I know how to make him smile.  Each day we are learning new steps to the waltz we are dancing together.  

I know that in order for us to keep dancing we need to embrace a healthy and active lifestyle.  I want to be able to giggle with him for years to come and I want him here so I can make him smile.  

This year I want to focus on become better at food shopping and meal preperation.  Buying what I need to make healthy meals and not just randomly filling my cart with things that will expire and I eventually throw out.  I need to learn how to plan out the week so that I can stay on track.  Have simple and easy recipes that I can throw together after work.  

Taking the time to sit down and share a meal with someone is such a personal experience. It provides a safe place to open your heart, share your world, and dream up ideas for the future.  When you cook a meal there is so much love infused into the food.  And when a meal is prepared together, it is even better.  Him and I have had some of our best moments in our kitchen creating a meal together.  

I want the question of "whats for dinner" off the table.  I want us to develop a rhythm of planning, preparing, and sharing.  It will become another beautiful dance that we will learn together.  

How do you navigate food shopping and preparation in your home?  Have you developed a rhythm that works for you?   Any hot tips to get me going?  xoxo

journaling the year

I have always been an avid journaler.  The page has held my words, held my heart, and held the memories that I did not want to forget.  I show up on the page often, no sensor or filter only an open heart and mind.  It all spills out.  

I have been intrigued by Project Life and Smash books but have not been able to dig deep into them.  They are fantastic, but I felt confined.  I have even tried filling a spiral bound notebook with memories but I give up before I even begin.  

This is year is different though.  I was determined to capture my world somehow, someway.  I knew it had to fit me.  I new it couldn't be confining.  I knew I had to come up with my own thing.  

And so I did

I folded color water paper in half and I began.  

 I went through magazines tearing out images that spoke to my heart and I collaged

I printed out photos, and added in tokens from our recent New Years Eve night away

I order more photos that will be arriving at my doorstep any day now, and I held on to mementos that I knew I wanted to glue in so I could onto them forever.  

Currently the folded pages are slowly forming a book of memories, hopes, and dreams.  It is becoming a catchall for my heart and a tool to express my creative soul.   I love how organically it is unfolding.  I love that there are no limitations and I can add as many pages as I want.  I don't feel confined, but rather I feel free.  

I have enjoyed sitting down and dreaming, remembering, and savoring the moments.  

I am unsure of how I will bind it all together, but I just know in my heart that as this year progresses so will these pages.  They are helping me to find my path.  They are taking me to places I only dreamed about.  And they are holding my heart.  

How do you catch your dreams and hold onto your memories?  What type of journal practice do you have?