it is here
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finding your own path
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You had asked me not to feel sorry for you
And I do not
You are in control of your destiny
You are the one who chooses which path you go down
And which you do not
It is you who makes these bold choices
It is you who must seek out what makes you happy
You know that you must make yourself happy before you can find happiness with another
It is you who must do it all
You know you cannot rely on others
You know that you have to hone in your dreams
And then chase after them
But you also know that they must be your dreams and not someone else's
Sure, there were moments you fell apart
Bad decisions
Wrong roads taken
You have fallen more times than you can count
Your temper flailing
Your anger getting the best of you
But you see all of that now
And you are making the choice to carve your own path
To walk in the right direction
You are looking for help
You know you cannot go at it alone
You need support
And you are finding it
And you know now that you must step into yourself
Boldly
With immense courage
And follow your heart
It is you who will carve the path to your happiness
It is you who will find exactly what you are looking for
And in my heart I know you will find it
It will not come over night
Nothing ever does
But it will come
And when it does you will be ready to celebrate it
fear of success
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I sit here. Ideas swirling one right after the other. A mental task list quickly filling the notebook in my mind. So easily the ideas come, and they are good. I can feel it in my heart and soul. Yet it is with much hesitation that I breathe life into them.
I am afraid of succeeding.
Terrified of actually making it happen.
Doubting myself.
Playing that evil comparison game.
I want to begin. But instead I cook up another idea. Add some more lines to my task list and head out for a run.
I am lacking the confidence in myself to take the leap. I am doubting that people will be interested in the passions that are in tucked into my heart. I forget that I will attract those that do understand and speak the same language as me.
I am unsure how to find my way out of this hole I am digging myself into. So I am doing what I know how to do; show up here and write about it. It feels freeing to state my fear. To have it down on paper to examine and dig deeper into.
The journey to getting through this begins with these words.
capturing
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Together we go out and capture the world
Each catching things the other didn't see
A new angel
A different perspective
A site that was just around the corner that the other didn't turn down
It amazes me to see the beauty that we each capture
How different our views of the same place are
I go for the details
He dives into the bigger picture
Together we bring home something unique to ourselves
The world is an expansive space
Each of us finding our own way in it
Navigating, capturing, seeking, and finding
The roads we take are filled with possibility
The wheels in my head are spinning. This may be the start to a little collaborative project between him and I. Seeing what the other didn't see and sharing it here. Hmm. We shall see where this goes.
letters across the miles
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,
Happy Tuesday and almost Fourth of July! I cannot believe that the fourth is already upon us. Summertime always seems to fly by in a blink of an eye. Do you have any plans for the Holiday weekend? I absolutly love fireworks. I am not sure where we will be seeing them, but am looking forward to the brillant colors in the sky.
I love that you have been adding to your photography portfolio since you started working in Providence. It is wonder that you are embracing your surroundings and really soaking them up. All to often we run from one thing to the next, never really taking the time appreciate it. But here you are, soaking it all in. Fantastic!
I took a big leap and opened the doors to my
for the first time. I can't belive I did but am so proud of myself for just doing it. My writing, blog, photography, and work has all evolved so organically. I love that. Opening the Etsy shop felt like the next right step to take. I am not sure where it will lead but am excited to see the path it opens me up to.
When I was in high school I ran Cross Country and track, running the mile, half mile, and two mile. Belthoff's do not have much speed so we have to stick to the distance events. You should see my brothers run to first base when they play softball. It is like they are running in slow motion.
What I like about running is that it pushes my mind. I know my body can make it up the hill, but it is my mind that is the challenge. All it ever says to me is: "I want to stop, I want to stop." But I must keep my legs moving and make it to the top. It feels so good when I push through.
I enjoy riding my bicycle more. When I am on my bike my mind never even thinks the thought of stopping. There is to much territory to explore. To many new sites to see. I want to peddle as far as I have time for.
I love excercising. Moving my body, stretching my muscles, climbing higher than I thought I could go. Excercise is such an amazing healer for the mind, body, and spirit. I try to excercise five days a week but do not always get the chance. When I don't I feel it in me. I become a bit sluggish, irritable, and craving the movment. That is when I pick myself up and go for a walk. Even a walk around the block refreshes me.
I hope you have been enjoying your summer. Please tell me what adventures you have been up to, what feeds your soul, and where you want to go to next.
Sending lots of love your way from NJ!
xo
Jennifer
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