wanting to spill open

/
The words are in my mind swirling around
Yet unable to be transferred to the paper
Each time I try to write them
My hand freezes up
My mind stops
Tiredness sets in
I know I need to give them life
For me
For you
I know we both need to hear them
Because as humans
We all go through the roller coaster ride of emotions
And we all just want to connect
So for now I am show up on the page as is
Disheveled, unsure, stuck
Knowing that is ok
As long as I continue to show up

surrounded by beauty

/

I used to be a wall flower

Trying my hardest to blend in

Never wanting to draw attention to myself

Thoughts always running through my head

But words never spoken

Over time I have come out of my shell

I stand deeply in who I am

Not afraid of being seen and heard

I put myself out into the world

And embrace what flows my way

I am fortunate to be surrounded by beauty

Individuals in my every day life that make my heart sing

We have heart opening conversations

Sharing between us sacred thoughts, ideas, and feelings

We take the time to truly see one another

In life we are all a part of many different worlds

Each of them connected through one source, yourself

All of these little circles play a significant part in your life

And for each of them you must show up

As yourself and let yourself be seen

Who you are matters to the circles that surround you

Your being adds to the beauty

Your thoughts and words are impact full

And necessary to be spoken

You just being there is an integral part of the equation

When I hid in the background I was missing out

On all the beauty and opportunity that surrounds me

I was afraid

As I slowly stepped out of my protective barrier

I saw that love was there to hold me gently

I am so grateful for the relationships I have formed

For the kindness that others show me day after day

For conversations, laughter, a wave hello

My heart is overflowing with joy

From all the beauty that swirls around

I would not be here today

Had I not searched for what moved me

Had I not found what inside me really makes me happy

Had I not bravely stepped out and showed the world who I am

And now I stand here with my heart wide open

jumping in

/

Why does it take me so long to begin

To dig deep in and get my hands messy

Why do I procrastinate immensely

Dancing around the subject

But not diving in

Why do I day dream about it

But do not actually do it

Why do I hold myself bak

Why do I tighten up

And not let go

I need to jump in

Even when I do not know the outcome

I need to loosen up

Not be held back

Simply just go for it

writing

/

She never knew that her words would heal the hearts of others

She never knew that they would matter

If you told her years ago that what she wrote would ease another's fears

Make them not feel so alone

She would never believe you

Even if you assured her that you knew it was true

She would not be able to grasp it

She always wrote for herself

Directly from her heart

The words pouring out onto the paper

She spoke of what she knew

What she learned

What she knew to be true

She had to show up on the page

She had to free the words from her mind

Releasing them into the universe

And here she stands today

Not keeping her words bottled up

Showing up here

Opening up

Inviting others in

Living, feeling, smiling

deeply rooted

/

She was hopefull that this day would arrive

And it did

Not how she expected

But it came

Before it's arrival she prepared

Tending to her heart

Soaking in the quiet moments alone

Learning what moved her

What made her dance

Made her laugh

And now she stands deep in who she is

Fully present with what is surrounding her

Laughing with her whole heart

Soaking in the happiness that swirls around

Grateful that she took the time to wait and listen