what I would want you to know

If you were here

Sitting beside me

This is what I would want you to know

This is what I would tell you

This is what I would hope you would understand

And be able to truly feel and believe

You are amazing

You are doing a lot in this world

Even when you feel like you aren't

I wish I could open your eyes to see the impact you have

On all that is surrounding you

Your smile is contagious

You are friendly

Kind

Caring

And you work really hard

I know you do

So what if it is not your dream job

And it isn't what you thought you would be doing

And so what if it is serving people drinks

Or bringing them their food

You are doing something for another

You are putting yourself out there

And you are not doing it haphazardly

You are doing it well and with pride

And it doesn't matter what you are doing

What matters is that you are doing it with pride

That is what is important

You show up and you care

Everyone around you can see that

I know it is a struggle for you to be where you are

It is a struggle to think that you haven't accomplished anything

Or that you haven't gotten anywhere

But really you have

You need to take that measuring stick of yours

And you need to adjust it

Because you need to see that you really have come far

And the most important thing is that your happy

That the world is feeding your soul

That you are just out there living each day

Embracing what comes before you

Because there is going to be one day

When there is not going to be another day after it

And you don't want to have the regret that you didn't take the chance

You didn't say what you wanted to say

You didn't just go out there and do it

And you don't want to be miserable throughout your entire ride here

Nobody wants to see you miserable on your entire journey

You have the personality that you won't let that happen

And you have the personality that you will succeed

Realize how strong you are

How much you do

How brave and amazing

Kind and caring you are

Realize you are going to get ahead

You are going to make it

You are going to be someone you are proud of

But know that you should really be proud of that person now

Because you are incredible

But if you are struggling with that

Know that the day will come

There will be a moment in time when you will be able to step back and say

"Man, I am awesome"

And when you speak those words

I want you to speak them directly from your gut and from your soul

And I want you to feel them truly, honestly feel them

Because you are someone pretty awesome

And you deserve to be happy

You deserve to accomplish any goal you set your mind to

Just keep putting yourself out there

Keep stepping forward

Continue to not worrying about what other people are doing

Or allowing other peoples expectations to creep in

Forget about others peoples ideas for what you should be doing

Realize that you

Exactly as you are

Is exactly where you should be

You are well respected

You are loved

You are an incredible human being

your story

Lately I have struggled to put words onto the page

Maybe I was avoiding showing up

Maybe I was to busy

Maybe I wasn't ready to face something

There are many maybes that can be put down

But one thing I know for sure

Is that I stopped telling my story

I kept putting one foot in front of the other

Moving, but never really advancing

Blindly jumping from one thing to the next

Keeping my story inside

Under lock and key

I felt more lost than ever

All jumbled up and tangled in these vines of containment

The freedom that comes with putting myself out there

Was buried deep inside me

The clarity that comes from connection when you tell your story

Was non existent

I felt as if I had been dropped onto the floor

Shattered into many different pieces

And totally unsure of how to put myself back together again

My story

The pieces that make up me

Not my job, where I live, what I drive

But my truth

Needs to be shared

It is important for each of us to show up

Tell our stories

Really allow others in

And embrace the moment

Each of our stories

Is vital to the ebb and flow of this world

And it needs to be told

How are you telling your story?

Right now...

:::  Riding a bicycle feeds my soul

:::  I need to show up to the page more often

:::  I am so lucky to be surrounded by loving, supportive individuals who life me up and hold me gently

:::  I need to slow down, be present, stay true to myself

:::  I am capable of so much

:::  Family is the glue that holds me together

:::  I must continue to put myself out there

:::  It will return again one day

:::  Simply showing up and being myself feeds this world.  Yes, it is that simple

Crossroads

Caught at a crossroads

Not sure which way to turn

Take the familiar route

The one I traveled down before

The one where I know most of the roads

Can always find my way home

Or jump deep into the unknown

And find a world completely unfamiliar

Lost at times

Struggle through the uncomfortable

So much possibility lies within the two

So different they are

Have I grown to much to stay with the familiar

Will I feel more lost there than through the struggle of the unknown

My heart is torn

My feet are tired

My mind is can't make itself up

the only way I know how

I open up to the world

Showing my vulnerable pieces

Doing this enables me to connect more deeply with others

It brings me closer to them

Gives me a chance to feel and be free

It is a beautiful thing

There were moments in my life when I was deep in the fire

Pushed down into the gutter

My heart torn to shreds

Dark skies covering my world

There were moments I wasn't sure if I would make it

But I always did

The hurt doesn't stop me

The pain that was there doesn't hold me back

I keep pushing forward

Holding my heart in the palm of my hands

I share my most vulnerable pieces

I am not afraid to take a risk

Show my emotions

Feel the world

I stand deeply in the unknown

My past does not dictate my future happiness

I let go

Releasing that which no longer serves me

I raise my head up towards the sun

Wishing for the best

And taking the leap

One may think this is a dangerous way to live

But it is the only way I know how

Risking my heart

Daring to dream

Feeling my way through the world

the path I have been walking

I have not shown up here in awhile

And I am not really sure where I have been

Writing is my landing place

Where I show up to just be

Putting everything on the page that comes to mind

But my creative juices have seemed to come to a grinding halt

I have been wrapped up in work

Pouring my creativity into Power Point animations

I need to shift

I need to feed my creative fire

Let it shine brightly

Continue to put words to paper

And photograph the world around me

I hope to show up here more often

And share with you the musings from my soul