living

Being open

Easy going

Taking a risk

Not living in a tiny protected bubble

Going out and exploring

Seeking adventure

Looking for the things that move me

Not afraid to try them

Taking the leap and going for it

I am so thankful I live this way

Willing to put myself out there

Experience the moment

Be present with where I am

If I did not have that in me

I never would have the experiences I have had

Seeing Mexico through the eyes of the people

Having my world open up at squam

Traveling to Brooklyn

Risking my heart and feeling the joy that comes with it

As well as the heart ache that can happen

If I was not open and willing

I never would have done any of these things

But here I am now

Exploring

Going on adventures

Riding my bike around 

Soaking in the beauty

The moments are here

To take the step forward

Take the risk

Take the leap

Grab the nervousness in the palm of my hands

Toss it up into the air

And go for it

she

thank you

I was hesitant to talk to you about it

I thought your honesty would bring me down

You know the questions to ask

The ones that dig deep

Bring out the words I do not know how to express

So I held back for awhile

Afraid of how it would all unfold

Unsure of even what to say

But these past few weeks

You have surprised me

So understanding and non judgmental

I was not expecting that

I was preparing for battle

Preparing for the hard questions

The ones I do not have the answers to

Thank you

For taking it all in

Asking me the questions that make me think

Force me to speak from the heart

Thank you for being patient

When I struggle to find the words

And talk in circles

I am so grateful for you

The way you challenge me

And how you still show up when I struggle

You are a gift to me

brought back home

It helps me to have that kind of friend

Who can sit beside me and say

"Remember when..."

Together we can journey back

She reminds me of how far I have come

How many obstacles I have hurdled

How many brick walls I have faced

And how no matter what I stood up

Strong, and brave, putting one foot in front of the other

She shows me myself

In a way I sometimes struggle to see

Reminding me how much I have opened up

Showing the world what lies deep within me

Even laying out the vulnerable pieces

To be examined

To be healed

Revealing these pieces of myself have helped others to heal

And move forward on their own journeys

My words have brought forth inspiration

The look in my eyes has calmed worried and tired souls

My ability to sit and listen, and just be present with someone

Has brought strength to those who felt they could not go on

There are moments when I forget

How far I have come

I become to engulfed in the problems

That I am creating in my own mind

Not living in the present

Or appreciating where I am today

This friend brings me back

Opening my eyes up

Allowing me to see myself, as myself

It is a gift to have this type of friendship

To share together

Laugh together

And to bring each other back when we are lost

I am so very grateful

roller coaster ride of emotions

I am an emotional creature

Feelings affect me deeply

Happiness and sadness

Raising me up and dragging me down

At times it can feel like a roller coaster ride

Never knowing what the next turn will bring

Intense highs and plummeting lows

With many twist and turns

I am terrified of roller coasters

I hate that feeling that comes in the pit of my stomach

But I have been known to give them a try

Unsure of where they will take me

I jump on

Even though I know it may lead to tears

My emotions ride through me

The light and the dark

Each showing their face

With me guessing when they will arrive

When the lightness is within me

I am shining, brilliant

A smile dancing across my face

But then the darkness takes over

And I feel like I will never make it out

Staring off into the abyss

Struggling to find the light

The only thing to do is ride it through

Embracing the twist and turns

Allowing the tracks to take me

To my next destination

and coming off the ride

Stronger, braver, more confidante in myself

I was hesitant to even begin

Because I knew what could happen when I did

I knew the road that I had potential to travel down

The twist and turns that could arise

The dead ends that I might face

Oh man, was I hesitant

Fearful even, of taking that step into this known sea of instability

I thought I was doing good

Taking all necessary precautions

Devising a plan to protect me on this journey

But there are some things you simply cannot prepare for

And like they say, all best plans usually fall to the way side

So now I am just looking for a way to slip out into the night

Unnoticed, unscathed

Erasing all memories

Reseting myself back to the way I was before