moments

/

We like it when we know the answers

When we know what is coming next

When we do not have to wonder

It is easy to be surrounded by those who know us

We can stand confidently in that moment

Being seen and held

And loved for who we are

But the moments where we are not sure what is coming next

The times when we are surrounded by strangers

Showing up because we know we have to be there

But we are not sure what to do

Those are the times that challenge us

They test our strength and our courage

They force us to move outside our box

They are not easy

They are uncomfortable

And push us to look deep within

To know who we are

And stand firmly on those two legs

Even amidst adversity

It is in those awkward moments

That we learn

About the world

And those surrounding us

It is in those moments

That we see who we are

Deep down inside

And we can be proud of that person

It takes effort

To be in that place

To soak up what is happening

Outside of ourselves

And deep within

But once we move past the difficult feelings

We can just be

Where we are

Exactly as we are

A little bit stronger than we were before

wish

/

Come sit beside me

Tell me what you wish for

Lets talk about all the details

Even the small ones

That you think might not matter

Lets dig into your wish

We will hold hands

And wish your wish together

For a wish to come true

It has to start moving

That will start with me and you

Wishing our wishes together

So sit beside me

Look deep into my eyes

And tell me

What is it you wish for?

the writing in me

/

At night when I would dream

It was as if I was watching it all unfold

Like a movie was playing in my head

I was not present

I was watching things happen to me

I see in some of my writing I have done the same thing

Using "she"

Instead of "I"

When the feelings are mine

The experience happened to me

It is my heart and soul that is speaking

When I started coming into my own

Feeling comfortable and confidante in my own skin

My dreams shifted

Things were unfolding and I was right there in it

I was no longer watching from above

I know I have to do the same with my writing

I need to own it

Feel confidante in it

Even if it is extremely vulnerable and raw

I need to lay it out there

Because that is me

struggling

/

It seems as if there are very few places

Where I am showing up lately

My physical body is there

But my mind is off

Wandering

Not able to make one complete thought

Finding it impossible

To engage in conversation

Concentrate on what I am doing

Listen to what others are saying

There are very few places

Where I am feeling like myself

Strong

Confident

Present in the moment

I have been holding back

Building up this wall around me

Censoring my words

Pushing feelings and thoughts aside

In the brief moments that I have been feeling myself

I have been having deep conversations

Over a shared meal

Spilling out contents of my heart onto the table

With a kind soul sitting across from me

Telling me not what I want to hear

But what is true in this world

I feel like I am falling into darkness

Unsure of how to pull myself out

Struggling

. . .

/

It was a thought, a feeling, a moment

That crept in when I was not even looking

I did not even know that it existed inside

Until it whispered quietly to me

At first I was afraid to listen

Pushing it away as quickly as it had arrived

But it was persistent

It reminded me that in life I take risks

I go for it, no matter what it is

Because I will never know unless I try

It reminded me of my quiet strength

And let me know that no matter

I will be okay

I may stumble

But I will always stand back up

Moving forward

Smiling

Because I listened