"i'm better for it"

/

I have been holding onto a story deep inside

Playing it on repeat in my mind

Ashamed for the decision I had made

Guilt clouded over my perception of who I was

Until I got brave

I told my story

I wrote it out of me

Guilt, shame, sadness, fear, loneliness, heartache

I gave all of these feelings a voice

Pieces of my wounded heart began to heal

I was finally able to see clearly again

I learned that I am not my past decisions

Yes, they are a part of me

But they do not define me

I am much more than the choice I made

I am worthy of love

I am capable of love

I do not need to be afraid

I shared the truth of my story

The messy parts

The ones we tend to not want others to see

In doing so I healed my soul

Forgave myself for my mistakes

Showed compassion for the situation

And now I can breathe a little bit easier

The weight I was carrying around has been let got

If you would like to read my story you can find it

here

 over on my dear friend Kolleen's blog ~

Heartwing Sisters

.  I am so grateful for her giving me the space to share my story.  "I'm Better For It" is a beautiful collaboration of real stories from the heart where people share what is they are better for going through.

sit next to me

/

Come sit next to me

Tell me what it is that is deep in your heart

Whisper to me those words you have been to scared say

I will listen to whatever it is you have to say

Giggle with me

And let the sun shine down on us

Come sit next to me

Share your dreams with me

Together lets explore them

I want to hear what you have to say

I want to see the look in your eyes while you speak

I want to be there for you

So come, sit next to me

live wide open

/

french town, nj

Live wide open

These words sounding in her ears

Playing on repeat to ensure it is etched into her soul

A thought she cannot seem to shake

Live wide open

She is not exactly sure what it means

How to do it or if it is even possible

But she knows she must try to figure it out

Live wide open

Granting all emotions and experiences to come

Leaning into them

Finding them and feeling them

Live wide open

Her heart knows this is the only way

Her mind knows that it will be tough

But she knows that must live wide open

a feeling

/

I feel that there is something bigger inside me. Something that I cannot seem to place my finger on. A feeling of having a grander purpose. A bigger meaning. Finding a way to make a difference. Yet here I am sitting still. Going no where fast.

I can feel the stirring inside me. The pull that tells me where I am and what I am doing is only for this moment. There is something else out there for me. There is something my heart yearns for. A different road to travel down.

But what is this thing? What something is it that I am being pulled blindly towards? I feel like I am in a dark room. Trying to find my way to the door yet unsure if a door even exist.

This pulling. This stirring. This feeling. This knowing of something more. All of it is there. But what is the something?