pattern of life

/

Open my eyes

let them adjust to the darkness

I can see the pattern

of going nowhere fast

Always ending up in the same place

no matter how fast I run or how slow I walk

The destination always seems to be the same

gloomy when I look at it from this angel

Being in the moment and living it is not so bad

but when I already know the ending before I even finish the first chapter

why bother reading the book?

I already read a version of it before

No reason to suffer through the sadness as tears soak my cheeks

Maybe it is best to just put the book down and walk away until

I am ready to write a new ending

Thankful

/

I am so thankful today for many thinks including but not limited to ...

* This warm sunny day that I have been blessed with

* Spending time with my family, they always bring a smile to my face and make me laugh

* Having such fun and wonderful parents, brothers, and sister in laws

* My studio apartment which houses my creativity and dreams and shelter's me

* Being healthy to ride mile after mile on my bicycle

* The amazing people I have met through this community and the incredible support they give me

* Being able to put thoughts and feeling into words down on paper

* Working ~ with people that are kind and having someone to spend lunch with

* The sound and smell of the ocean ~ it calms me, brings me back, and reminds me to feel

* For having the opportunity to experience, feel, and truly enjoy all that is around me

* For being aware of life and living it

What are you grateful for today?

Strong

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New Paltz, NY

While hiking on Sunday I was flooded with the thought "I really want to be strong, I really want to be strong, I really want to be strong." This thought consumed me. I thought about how this is the moment in my life to make myself strong.

But what does strong mean? I thought back to

manzanita

, and how I learned that one word can mean something so different to someone else than what it means to me. Words hold their own meanings in all of our hearts based on where we are in life in that particular moment.

Currently strong means to me:

  • the willingness to put myself out there, be bold and brave
  • facing the challanges in front of me with grace
  • feeling confidant and comfortable in my own skin
  • fully embracing what I love and going for it
  • physically feeling fit and healthy
  • reaching out and asking for help when I need it

I want to feel strong and face this life head on.