the ride

/
my shadow during the MS bike ride

The goal is set
You go off alone
Determined to make it
The sound of the wind rushing past your ears
Beauty surprising you around every corner
The push up hill is difficult
The miles are long
But you keep going
You garner all your strength and you finish
You do it for those who can not
For those showing there strength even through there suffering
You accomplished what you set out to do

taking it all in

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, originally uploaded by

Jennifer

Belthoff

.

When it comes to photographing people I get all shy and nervous. I am not sure why. But this fear takes over me and I feel so self

conscious

. I can't shake it. Sure I can be silly and photograph myself with people holding my arm out with camera in hand as far as it can to ensure everyone is in the photo. In fact this is one of my favorite ways to take photos with people. It feels more intimate than someone else taking the camera and snapping the photo. And sure it is easy to photograph flowers, the sunset, and clouds. They are not staring back at me. Watching me contort into all different positions to get the perfect shot. They don't care what the photo looks like after I take it, in fact they don't even ask to see it. But with people it is all so different. They want to see what I snapped and are curious how it comes out. I feel terrified that I will not live up to there expectations of what they thought the photo would look like.

I am still struggling with my larger camera. Still trying to figure out how to get better shots. Not sure if it is my lens but for some reason a lot of my photos (even outdoors) come out a little fuzzy. I just can't figure it out. So the pressure builds when a person is looking at me as a take the picture. The intimate look in there eyes as they allow me to capture a moment in time. I want to feel more comfortable photographing people. I want to learn more about my camera so the photos come out crisp and clear.

For now, to start breaking through my fear I have begun photographing people from behind, when they don't even know I am taking the shot. This gives me time to breathe and relax without them staring right at me. It lets me take the photo without them asking to see it. It is a small step but none the less it is step.

Spinning

/
Things have been moving so fast,
so furious
I am not even sure when it began,
or if it will end.
But it keeps coming and going
I am running
trying to catch up
trying to stay afloat
It is not easy to move this fast all the time
I am running out of steam

I must take a deep breath
slow down
The world is moving fast
but I don't have to keep up
I can relax
Soak in the beauty
Gain my strength

Take a deep breath
Look around
There is so much the world has to offer