stand tall and take the risk

It was a single moment where nothing changed, yet my entire world shifted.  Yes one single moment can do that.  One single unexpected moment.  Where you simply show up.  You have no grand expectations, hopes or desires.  You are doing what you know needs to be done.  In fact you are mustering up the courage to get it done.  

And then it happens.  A friendly hello, one single smile.  And life as you knew is changed forever. What next step do you take when you don't know where you are going but know you have to go somewhere?  What micro movement helps you figure it out?  What path leads you closest to what your heart desires?

You want to risk it all.  Because this is life, and if you never try you never know.  You have always lived life as a risk taker.  Jumping into the uncharted waters.  There have been times you almost drowned, but you always have found your way back to the top.  You are a stronger swimmer now than you ever were before.  Confident in your strokes.  Ready to jump in head first.  

You understand the enormity of the choices you make.  You know that you are the one carving your own path.  What if you take the risk and it is exactly what your heart desired?  What if you take the risk and it was nothing like you expected?  This is the beauty of risk taking.  The great unknown that lies before you.  You must trust your own heart before you take the leap.  You must be willing to fail.  

And so you risk.  You leap.  You say yes because that is what your heart is calling.  And you end up right here.  Some moments it feels like exactly where you are supposed to be and other times you aren't sure where you even are.  This is life.  An ebb and flow of emotion.  It pushes you to your limits and reminds you of how far you have come.  You must be willing to go all in, always.  You must be willing to let go of expectations and trust that you will end up exactly where you were meant to be.  

So take the leap.  Risk the fall.  And see how high you can fly.  

share kindness

Share kindness, always
Not only with those around you
But with yourself
It is easier to be kind to others
But you deserve love
You deserve to not be so hard on yourself
Grant yourself space to breathe
To be
To show up without judgement or criticism
I know
It's not easy
But it is what your soul needs
Do not feel foolish when you shower yourself with love
Open up the water and let it all pour out
Take time to look at yourself in the mirror
And love the person looking back at you
Remember how far you have traveled
Recognize how hard you try
You my dear are so much stronger than you know
Feel your strength
Breath in your beauty
Know that you are following your own path
Fill your soul with kindness
Infuse it in your heart
Remember, you are deeply loved
Be kind to yourself

{Inspired by the second prompt for the Love Notes Postcard Project}

charting the unknown waters

Lately I have been swimming in this sea of uncharted waters.  There are moments when I feel as if I am drowning.  It is like I have forgotten how to swim and need to re-learn each of the strokes.  The shore feels incredibly far away and I don't know if I will ever reach it.

The steady crash of the waves has me feeling disoriented as the tide pulls me further out to sea.  I am trying to find the strength within me to stay afloat but I am defeated.  This beautiful ocean is an incredible life force.  

All I can do is surrender.  

I feel as if I am waiting for my real life to begin.  The life I dream of.  The one that I scribble about between the pages of my journal.  The life that my heart deeply desires.  I crave this life and deep in my soul know it is the one I am meant to be living.  

Yet here I am in the middle of the ocean, losing site of the horizon.  Fearful of swimming to shore because it is a big and bold move forward.  In order to swim I need to believe in myself.  I need to know that I am deserving of my dreams.  That my voice is meant to be heard.  That there is room enough in this world for what I want to offer.  

I can see it.  I can feel it.  I know that it is the right direction for me.  I just need to be brave enough to leap.  I need invest in myself fully.  Ditch the "what if it doesn't work out" thoughts and simply see what is possible.  

I must to take the chance.  

Now more than ever I need to show up for myself.  I do not know how many days I have left on this earth.  Life can be taken in the blink of any eye.  One day we are going about our daily business and the next day we could be gone.  And we never know when that day will be.  If I continue to delay going after my dreams I may run out of time.  

I don't want to run out of time.  I must begin.  

I know I have said it before time and time again, but this moment feels different.  This ocean I am swimming in is terrifying and it is forcing me to be brave.  I will re-learn how to swim. I will find my way to a new shore and I won't give up even if it takes awhile to get there.  Because what I dream of is my destiny and only I can create it.  

And so I begin swimming

one foot in front of the other

Stand tall in who you are
In all your glory and all your downfalls
Know that you do not always have to get it right
Sometimes you will stumble
Veer off course
Go the wrong way
You might even reach a dead end
It's ok
Life isn't perfect
It never is, and never will be
There will be ups, and downs
Along the way you will learn how to navigate your own course
With each step you take
Each moment you encounter
Hold onto laughter
For it is laughter that truly is the best medicine
In the hard times when it is difficult to come by you will need it most
Do not push it away
Embrace it and allow your body to feel it's joy
Because even in moments of deep dark sadness it is ok to laugh
So put your shoulders back
Hold your head up high
Know that your mistakes do not define you
You are beautiful just the way you are
Continue putting one foot in front of the other
As you create the most epic life that you want to live

day dream believer

At my third grade parent teacher conference Mr Carestia told my mom that I was a good student  However he could see in class when I drifted off and entered the world of day dreaming.  A glazed look coming across my face, and that was it.  I was checked out.

I have always been a dreamer

I believe that we must dream.  For it is the first step to making anything come true.  Setting the intention and planting the seed.  If we don't think about what it is we want we never know exactly what we desire and therefore can never obtain it.  

My dreams are charted out through vision boards, journal entries, pinterest searches, and moments of quiet when I allow myself space to sit and think. I imagine what it is I truly want, how I will feel when I get it, and who I want to be by my side along the way.

Yet dreaming can only take you so far.  You must be willing to do the work in order to see your dreams come true.  You have to take the steps, follow your hearts desires, and show up.  Yes, your hands will get dirty.  Your heart will break.  You will veer off course.  You will feel like you will never make it.  

There is even a chance your dream won't come true, but you never know until you try.  

You can't expect someone to show up at your door with our dream on a silver platter.  Life just doesn't work that way.  It requires you to take the time and energy needed to make something happen.  It means pushing yourself past your comfort zone and being ok with whatever the outcome, especially when it's not the one you were expecting.  

Lately the dream of writing a book has been nudging me again.  I started a few years back but never made it happen.  But just because I couldn't do it then, does't mean that I can't do it now.  One thing I know for certain is that books don't appear out of thin air.  A lot of hard work and dedication goes into them.  I must show up to the page and grant the words permission to spill out.  I must be dedicated and encourage myself to write, even when I don't feel like it.  Beauty emerges when we push ourselves past our edges.  

What dream is living in your heart?  What one step can you take today to bring yourself a little bit closer to it?  

Show up and say yes to your dream

Choose to carve out the dream that you desire.  Put in the hard work and reap all of it's rewards.  Do not be afraid of failure but rather be afraid of how you will feel if you never give it a try.  

one life to live

36 years roaming this planet
13 years serving it up at Chilis
8 years at TRU
6 years together
5 years since moving from my studio apartment
3 years in marketing
2 years back on Franklin Turnpike
2 years since losing my mom
A countless number of miles ridden
6 flights to Aruba
1 cross country adventure
1 time getting lost in the woods
1 bike ride to the lighthouse
5 foxes crossing my path
3 trips to squam lake
2 west coast retreats
1 failed attempt at writing a book
1 yoga teacher certification obtained
15 years of friendship
1 divine moment of intervention
A lifetime of saying yes
An uncountable amount of choosing no
1 burning desire for adventure
1 dream to ride to California on my bicycle
1 move to Pennsylvania
1 chance for a final goodbye
3 seasons doing something I enjoyed
1 sixty mile ride
1 bookstore conversation that changed everything
3 movies that feed my soul
1 pile of books that are my life line
1 lesson learned after another
5 pairs of running shoes in my closet
26 journals filled with words
A countless number of times I fell down, and got back up again
1 library card
1 three dollar and sixty cent fine
1 chance encounter
1 question looming over my head
4 jars filled with feathers
1 ring I always wear
1 place I feel most me
5 four forty five am wake up calls to move my body
10 mins of meditation
2 legs to take me where I want to go
1 dream of seeing the northern lights
2 songs that take me back
A lifetime of memories made
1 desire for more
8 strands of twinkle lights
2440 moments documented
1 mission
Over 250 love note senders
3 bottles tossed into the sea
A countless number of hearts found
1 life being created by the choices I make and the way I show up
Because I only get this one chance, and I am the creator of my destiny
I choose where I am going to go and what I am to do
And so I take this one chance to make the most of it
1 wide open heart, living moment to moment