It seems as if there are very few places

Where I am showing up lately

My physical body is there

But my mind is off

Wandering

Not able to make one complete thought

Finding it impossible

To engage in conversation

Concentrate on what I am doing

Listen to what others are saying

There are very few places

Where I am feeling like myself

Strong

Confident

Present in the moment

I have been holding back

Building up this wall around me

Censoring my words

Pushing feelings and thoughts aside

In the brief moments that I have been feeling myself

I have been having deep conversations

Over a shared meal

Spilling out contents of my heart onto the table

With a kind soul sitting across from me

Telling me not what I want to hear

But what is true in this world

I feel like I am falling into darkness

Unsure of how to pull myself out

Struggling